Archers thread #158: Te Rum? You numpty, numpty, Tom! Empty tearoom follows. Christmas coming, farmers’ stand up, will it make us LOL? No! Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Tom Archer is a great businessman, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @LillianGish for the title idea, which may plant an earworm if my scansion just about holds up. @BeatriceBatchelor wanted 'plebby coffee' inserted in reference to my Bolivian coffee anecdote on the last thread, so I'll mention it here instead. Here's hoping Fallon and Emma decamp to the charging station or Grey Gables, or both, to run the type of coffee shop/tearoom people actually enjoy spending time in. Tom's cauliflower eclairs and kale criossants approach sounds more likely to drive the casual trade away from the farm shop and cheese window as well as the Google Translate-named Te Rum.

Feeling very uninspired by TA at the moment, so I have nothing more to say for now. Over to you!

I wish we’d get updates on the Tuckers - I want to know how Bethanoy’s doing.

@TottersBlanklyIntoBimboCore , yes, Lily would say settee.
I'd say couch and sofa but not settee. I think, for me, they aren't quite the same item of furniture. A settee is what people like Lily have in their lounge. Julia would be turning in her grave.

@OverArmour , When reading the thread I am distracted by trying to figure out who someone is posting about. Easy mistakes like Tim for Tom or Roy for Rob would be equally distracting. (Elizabeth had a fling with Rob???, Phil was evil??? )

Not only that, but the posts are usually slagging the fictional character, so to me reads like 'I can't be arsed to even get the character's name right but I'll post that I hate him/her anyway'. Or the posts are something like 'Linda always pronounces things properly' when she doesn't. Lynda Snell just isn't a Linda and the over-exaggerated 'berga-mow' or 'jimenea' is part of her character.

What’s the problem with slagging off a fictional character?

Fair enough, we’re all different.

<whispers> I really, really like charades. Yes, I am weird.

Joyce for Joy completely threw me the other day; I literally couldn't think who was meant. To me they are two completely different names (two different people in my life).

‘Paul and Lily will mess up the food and they’ll decamp’

I certainly wish someone would decamp bloody Paul.

I do too and we play charades at large family gatherings, well more along the lines of the old Give Us a Clue program. It’s a tradition that someone always gets Perry Como’s French Canadian Christmas, even though almost everyone is too young to know who Perry Como is and the TV programme probably never existed. We also play the Name Game with many in-family jokes. I can easily imagine a Brookfield Christmas Day and understand David’s disappointment at having fewer people there.

Just in case I come over as too nice I just want to remind everyone that I still can’t stand Shula.

Do people really get multiple presents for all their extended family? At least 3 for Martha from Adam and Ian! Around here it's normal to buy several for your own children and grandchildren, but one present is considered fine for nephews, nieces, cousins and the like.

We always stagger the present giving over the 12 days of Christmas so children don't get so much on one day that they don't know what anything is. I thought that was quite common.

@Chemenger , in real life I am very nice and like everybody. I love Shula.

Chemenger
can easily imagine a Brookfield Christmas Day and understand David’s disappointment at having fewer people there.

No Josh, but added Leonard and Stella. So more people, not fewer. Well, one more person, He wasn't planning to invite Paul or Denise or Silent John, and Joy was very much an afterthought. He is simply cross because How Dare Josh Be A person In His Own Right instead of begging his way into Brookfield in order to be patronised and sneered at?

If he's that upset about having fewer than ten people there he could always invite Jolene and Kenton. They have been there for Christmas Dinner before now in spite of theoretically having a pub to run and needing all the income they can get.

I can understand why David thinks this year is depleted. A few years back, didn’t Elizabeth, the twins and Call Me Russ attend alongside Joelene and Kenton? We had that awkward moment when K called out CMR in some way. I guess that was pre-Covid so it’s longer ago than it feels. Tobee seems to have been airbrushed out of Fat Rosie’s Christmas this year.

And will Lee be celebrating on his colleague’s sofa?

If David wanted Brookfield to be full, he ought to have thought of inviting people earlier than seven days in advance.

It just occurred to me that Joy and Vicky Tucker would probably get on like a house on fire.

Might they not somewhat step on each other's toes?

Does Josh actually know that Denise, John and Joy are coming for Christmas Day? As far as I'm aware he's the only one not to be involved in discussing the matter. Or maybe I've missed something?

Is he not likely to go ballistic that it's not going to be just the three of them as planned? Or have I been misreading Josh's character all these years and he'll be totally chilled?

Were Chris and Alice sorting out Christmas presents, or have I missed that it’s Martha’s birthday? Either way, why did they have all the presents from the family already? Weird.

Yes it was strange that they had so many presents, and yet managed to spirit them away so quickly.

Is he not likely to go ballistic that it's not going to be just the three of them as planned? Or have I been misreading Josh's character all these years and he'll be totally chilled?

I would be very disappointed if, when I was in my early-20s, I had been looking forward to a lazy Christmas eating chocs and drinking on the sofa and then my housemates told me I was going to have to help host their parents including my patronising, highly-irritating aunt. Before you know it, you’ll be locked into specific timings and having to chop the carrots according to everyone else’s specifications. What to do though? Josh’s options are very limited. I would probably just say I have to work and then come back in the evening hoping the guests will have gone.

I worked as a local reporter on Christmas Day several years running to escape Christmas en famille - and the related rows. It was always very jolly - the police and firemen kept the mood very upbeat.

Well yes @EmmasBirthdayEarrings this is the thing. I keep waiting for David to have a go at Josh for having Christmas Day knees-up to rival Brookfield's in terms of guests for Josh then to say "WHAT?!!! I didn't know anything about this!'

As I say unless I've missed something neither Paul nor Lily have considered his views - as their housemate - or involved him in the decision at all.

They didn't even consult each other. They made their decisions separately and then confessed but, unless it happened off air, they didn't bother to tell Josh.

On the other hand, the quiet day at home was the plan for all of 5 minutes (well, less than 24 hours anyway), between Lily and Paul cooking it up and then inviting all the others. So it wasn't as though he'd had his heart set on it for months. Until last week he was assuming he'd go to Brookfield as every other year.

Mike's re-marriage was a good storyline for a bit, but then the SWs sent them off to Brum so that Bethany could be closer to the services she might need

It's quite ironic that they chose Brum as the safe bet, given that the council has now gone bankrupt and both care and SEN services are bound to be hit. It would be nice to think that Mike and family might decide to come back to Ambridge, but I suspect that the SWs haven't noticed.

I came to see if anyone else was raging that Chris and his mother had the audacity to lament how sad it was that Alice had moved on given the speed he moved on to one of his newly separated wife’s best mate.

Classic “my son can do no wrong” rewriting of history there.