Archers thread #151: A Fête worse than death or a reverse ferret? Helen’s got the Borsetshire Blues, Tom’s talking shiitake, George is a rotten apple. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think Helen and Tom would do well on Dragons' Den, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @OverArmour for various title ideas! I would have liked to incorporate the suggestion from @Fleetress, which was

‘Do do one Ron, Ron, do do one Ron’

(Rob is Ron for many on this thread now)

Possibly a bit obscure for newer posters, though!

Anyway: we got through that last thread in no time at all. Combined effect of Rob and George, I suspect. I wonder if Rob will have made it to Ambridge by the time we need a new thread. I'm still waiting for Pat's shotgun to feature. That can't have been mentioned for the first time ever for no reason at all.

Over to you!

Thank you @BerylBillings

I really, really wanted the shit cheese to have turned out to be a Bridge Farm one. Helen is such a dreadful person in every way possible. Her ghastly family let her get away with not being held accountable for anything (oh she’s so vulnerable) so it was good to hear Ian calling her out.

@BeardieWeirdie That was my hope too. I was just waiting for Iain to say, "....but that's Sterling Gold!" Sadly not....

I thought it would turn out to be her cheese too.

How on earth was she even allowed to judge?

This! There's no way she was ever going to remain objective. I can't imagine anyone entering a cheese would have been allowed to judge. She's such a hypocrite, questioning others' morals (e.g Tom and the modelling photos) when hers are crumbly at best ...

Surely a fancy-pants hotel stock would stock a variety of types of cheese from different suppliers?

Has anyone spotted that the farming advisor, Sybil Roscoe, used to be Simon Mayo’s sidekick back when he did the breakfast show on Radio 1? (I heard her credited at the end of the Omnibus).

@CompaniesHouse Hare coursing is illegal but like many types of hunting it still goes on a fair bit, either illegally or claiming to be legal on a technicality - I think it's technically not illegal if the dogs are only used to flush a hare out and nets are used to trap the hare. Completely impractical and never going to happen in reality, but a way perhaps to get off on a technicality if the rural police ever drove past at the wrong moment.

I think realistically fancy hotels/restaurants change cheeses whenever they feel the need for a recipe. I can’t imagine why they’d sign someone up for All Our Cheese Needs meaning - what - if the chef decides they want a bit of Sterling Gold in the current special they wouldn’t be allowed? Sounds bonkers

Sybil Rusco cut her radio teeth at rural BBC Radio Shropshire I believe. So not far from Borsetshire. That was before moving up the ladder to R1. Think she was there when it opened. I came along later to work there and they were all quite proud of their Sybil!

I would have thought Helen would have to withdraw her cheese to be able to judge. She really is awful.

Cheese Scam Shock!

Runs the headline in the Borsetshire Echo

@faffadoodledo, good to know her old station was proud of her success.

Agree it was GREAT to finally hear someone call Helen out on her shit. Hope Ian gets the job and no Bridge Farm produce darkens the door of GG.

I think this is what will happen - Ian will get the job, Helen will assume that means she can sling more cheese at GG, and when Ian refuses, all hell will break loose (in a snippy, uptight way of course).

hoping the SW fairies will make that happen @noodlezoodle . Helen's dreadful arch, flirtacious tone certainly took a dive when Ian accused her of nobbling the opposition.

‘Archers fans clash over Weaver the greyhound’s death’

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0330956c-3497-11ee-a54b-14a9a87cf1a8?shareToken=fa28b6d652eeeee63f972b54a6e4739f

<makes note to see if the Dog Days of Summer can somehow be worked into next thread title>

I assumed she did. There was no suggestion that she was judging her own cheese that I recall, nor any mention of how it had done in the competition.

Plus Ian said to Helen that it was much more prestigious to be a judge than to be a winner, which seemed to be a clear indication that they both know her judging would mean withdrawing her cheeses.

Yes @noodlezoodle that's EXACTLY what I thought they were setting up when I heard Hellin exclaiming in delight at how great it would be if Ian accepted head of food...

Which Ian immediately sussed.. "Great for Bridge Farm, you mean", "No, of course I didn't mean that" replied Helen. Yeah, sure. 😂

I'm pretty sure not. @AskingQuestionsAllTheTime will know for certain, though!

Alistair is still being played by Michael Lumsden, as he has been since Alistair's first appearance in January 1998.

I thought he was Jakob the other day.