Archers thread #149: This is not a drill, it’s a plot device. Here’s hoping for Stella-r rows in Ambridge. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think George Grundy's bantz make him a great laugh and totally harmless to women, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for title suggestions - @FallonsNewCoat started us off with Drilling down OR What’s the drill?: So many jobs hanging in the balance - what’s planned for Adam, Stella, Freddie and horrible George?, @OverArmour's suggestion was ‘Drilling down on less than Stella-r performances and who will be a pig in muck’ and @TeenDivided contributed the laserdrill focussed Lets drill into plot holes and hope George gets his comeuppance. I went for a bit of all of that. The phrase at the back of my head, which I am very pleased to have tracked down, was from one of my favourite film franchises where the character Conklin says in Jason Bourne's memory This is not a drill, soldier. We clear on that? This is a live project. You are go. Training is over. Training is over. Well, that's us, troops. Training is over, discussing The Archers is a live project, and it's our job to drill down into all aspects of what we hear.

On the last thread, people were discussing how unrealistic the portrayal of mental health problems is on TA. I wholeheartedly agree, but I suppose they don't feel they can tackle long-running slow burn storylines that often. They made a great effort with Jack Woolley's Alzheimer's. Other than that, I don't recall anybody having a recurring illness that's been portrayed realistically (and actually that goes for physical conditions as well). Most things clear up and are hardly mentioned again. Sticking just to mental illness, Pat had depression after John died, Mike Tucker had a bad bout of depression, so did Elizabeth. Helen's ED may or may not be about to re-appear, but nobody's mentioning it. Ben's rapid-onset depresssion recently led to a psychotic episode but now he's fine, not least because he got prompt, skilled and appropriate treatment on the NHS, unlike most of the UK. This is one area where I feel they shouldn't even attempt it if they can't do it in a way that reflects the reality of what most of us experience, for ourselves and our loved ones.

Anyway, with that off my chest - over to you!

I’m still confused about Jim’s about face regarding the charging stations. He was absolutely obsessed before to the point of ambushing Ruth and David etc and then suddenly after one meeting completely reverses. I don’t get it.

Noooooooo - wrong thing to read this early in the morning! I’ll wake up the whole street with my cackling …

(No idea about actual state of his leg.)

Lots on Bird Flu and vaccine possibilities on this morning’s Farming Today round up. Have we heard anything on the subject on TA lately?

I do miss Will as Gamekeeper. I realise the producers may have wanted to de-couple shooting from country life, but his occupation was so absorbing to listen to; his detailed care and the seasonal rhythms of game keeping life. Josh and his hens are a pale and unspectacular replacement.

How are Tracey and Jazzer affording the wedding and honeymoon when they are so broke? Are they relying on the kindness if friends?

Yet another instance where, despite almost never completely skipping an episode, I do wonder if there was something I missed.

Was there a conversation about the costs of even a modest honeymoon? Where are they staying? Catered or self catering? Where’s the budget for trips, snacks, entrance fees? (Not that you can’t have a perfectly lovely time in Scotland for very little. Long ago I found Edinburgh to be a perfect place to live in penury. So much built and natural beauty. So much free stuff going on.) Still …

Yes I was wondering if I'd missed something about this honeymoon!

Did they say they are going for three weeks? That seems astonishing. May be I made that up.

If they said they were going camping that would have squared off the cost a bit but T was at the food bank not long ago and only has a part time bar job to keep the wolf from the door. Jazzer seems to have had a broken something for months (I thought it was an ankle for a long time only to discover last night it’s a leg!) If he’s well enough to go to Scotland, wouldn’t Martin Gibson start questioning whether he is well enough to return to work?

10 days I think? All holidays end up being costly just feeding themselves each day and drinks etc. If they are touring around there's fuel costs too.

I know it's not real but I was thinking they would need to get insurance sorted before heading off. I know it could be done quickly by phone but still, I reckon it wouldn't occur to them. That sort of thing annoys me.

The insurance on a classic Riley isn’t going to be cheap either, I’d have thought. Much better for Jim to have sold the car and given them the money.

👆I’m thinking into the future about the car. Agree with you, @TonightMatthewIamgoingtobecher that the grand gesture of giving them the car so they can go on holiday after all conveniently overlooks little things like being insured for the immediate moment. It’s not like they can just leap impetuously into the car and take off.

When Alice have birth to Martha was Jim driving the Riley then, or Jazzer? Just wondering if he was already insured for so a reason?

But I would not thank anyone for a classic car to do such a long drive.

I thought about insurance too!

Another one who thought insurance.

Not a very practical car for a couple and 2 young adults, is it?

So did I and I bet it guzzles fuel.

and an elderly parent.

Did Tracey ever have her own transport?

I think she had a car that needed £££ for repairing some time last year around the grey gables shenanigans/chicken factory time - unsure if actually hers or not though. Or if I dreamed it.

Just skimming to make sure there's no reason to go back to listening, and must add Shula and Mark to weddings that didn't happen - Shula did at least give 24 hours notice. She married him eventually, of course.

Long ago I found Edinburgh to be a perfect place to live in penury.

Gosh! Are you J. K. Rowling?

Staying with Jazzer's family? Odd to time a honeymoon that could have happened at any time for the Scottish school holidays.

Lilian and Justin never did marry, did they? I can't remember why now nor do I care very much but I'm surprised they haven't done it to minimise inheritance tax. Justin has no children to leave anything to, as far as I can recall, so I would expect him to be leaving a substantial sum to Lilian. Does he own the Dower House? She used to, and I have a dim memory of something happening - Matt related? - which meant she lost it.

I blinkin’ wish …

(I’ve found myself living in penury in many other places - but never with such contentment.)

and an elderly parent.

Ah, the curmudgeonly Bert Horrobin! Can just imagine his complaints.

(Aside from Susan, obviously, and Clive, the wrong'un, do we know anything much about Tracey's other siblings?

And what happened to her niece, Kylie? My last hazy recollection was her kicking off at Ivy's funeral).

And Caroline and Robin, @DeanElderberry ?

I have just googled Rileys. They would be mad to accept that. This is a crazy plotline. I also thought about the insurance- and while you can do it on the phone, it usually takes about 45 minutes of frustrating questions.

Car insurance has gone up massively in the past year, btw. Jim could have addressed the insurance issue when he handed over the keys saying it’s all taxed and insured and ready to go. But then what will happen next year? And when it’s due a service? Ridiculous. They need a reliable little run-around. Not a car that would suit the tastes and budget of Mr Toad.

Jilting, change of heart after accident, too rich to care - these are all legitimate reasons (noticeably offered to Ambridge gentry or itinerant aristocrats). ‘Shagging in bathroom’ is obviously in a different column of the TA Wedding Disaster Spreadsheet.

Asking will have chapter and verse, but from memory:

Keith - wrong 'un
Stuart - wrong 'un or unknown quantity? Can't remember
Gary - I thought he might have had learning difficulties but either he doesn't or the SWs changed their minds about what Gary was like, as he got a job outside the forcefield and moved out some time back (has never been back, and who can blame him)
Kylie - Clive's daughter by Johnnie's mother Sharon Richards. Spent a few months in a caravan on Bridge Farm land with Sharon after Clive left them - also stayed at the vicarage for a bit, courtesy of the vicar at the time (Gerry Buckle). Grew up in Leeds with Sharon, Sharon's husband and Johnnie (whose father was John, older brother of Helen and Tom), after Sharon shook the dust of Ambridge off her feet. Kylie did a degree in Psychology at Lancaster, IIRC (don't ask me why I should remember this, I just do). Don't know what she's done since.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g,

Thanks for all that info. Very useful. It never occurred to me that Johnny and Kylie are half-siblings!