Archers thread #146: They did fall apart. Can they put themselves together again? Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like to donate your time as a guide at Lower Loxley to save the Pargetters paying someone else a living wage, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to @Impostersyndrome for the thread title suggestion Buses and trains are sorely lacking, canals might be nearby, but all roads lead to Ambridge, picking up on transport discussions in the last thread. In the end I didn't use it, having in mind the character limit. @TottersBlankly contributed an early draft title Wreathes, wrath, writhing (Jennifer, Lilian, Ruairi). Both good starting points for the new thread, which I hope will last till Jennifer's funeral, surely not too far off now. So, over to you - whither the Aldridges? Also, does anyone care if Lee goes to the US? Is anyone even slightly interested in the Brookfield B&B venture?

It took up valuable space in the small kitchen so probably got charity-shopped at some point when I had a clear-out.

@Dillydallydilly , it certainly didn't simulate a taste of G&T.

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime , florentine?

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g , I'm worried about @FallonsNewCoat 's 'scrambled' eggs. You don't think she might be the real Fallon and that it might be served in the Ambridge Tea Room, do you? pass the smelling salts to me, I'm on the fainting couch

I've eaten something that was 9 yrs past it's BB date. It was frozen all that time, but it did say not suitable for home freezing on it. I wasn't ill.

Delicious. That's almost exactly how I make my eggs (only, I'm lazy and hate dirtying multiple items if it can be avoided, so I melt the butter and then crack my eggs straight into the pan, immediately 'whisk' using my wooden spoon and then add seasoning, cook until creamy, etc...). The toast always has to be hot and extremely well buttered. If I'm making scrambled egg for multiple people I usually put plates and buttered toast into the oven so that it all stays hot until the eggs are ready to be served (otherwise someone misses out, either by getting cold toast or rubbery eggs due to having to wait for hot toast). I really dislike scrambled eggs on cold toast (in cas you hadn't noticed). For a special treat I'll put streaky bacon or (even better) pancetta onto the toast before adding the egg. So good!

My mother also cooks scrambled eggs until rubbery (she's the reason I used to think I didn't like them...).

I'm sorry, but poached eggs provoke the boak response in me. I have no idea why but they just do, however "perfectly" cooked. I have the same response to even very-slightly undercooked boiled eggs, where there is a small area of white that isn't quite completely set.

I love boiled eggs, but they have to be boiled for ages to make sure everything is completely solid, absolutely no runny bits,

Boiled eggs have to have solid white and runny yolk which is hard to achieve as egg sizes vary slightly. A boiled egg is actually one of the trickier things to cook.

I was certainly cooking "perfect" scrambled eggs by the time I was Ben's age. As a teenager I'd read and re-read (and read again) Ian Fleming's James Bond novel series and wanted to assume some of the style of 007. Got myself a DJ, a Sea Island cotton shirt from Jermyn Street (heaven knows how I afforded that), knew how to make a vodka martini - shaken, not stirred - etc. I started drinking good quality coffee strong and black.

I also worked on the art of perfect scrambled eggs - Bond's (and Fleming's) perfect "go to" light meal whether at the beginning of the day in some exotic location or after a lot of hours gambling for high stakes at the Casino Royale.

And it had to be spot on. Light and creamy (definitely no milk - what an abomination!), perfectly cooked, firm but still soft, often accompanied with bacon, a pint of chilled fresh orange juice and two cups of coffee, very black. A perfect antidote to the stresses of the life of a secret agent.

I often have poached eggs instead these days. The pan is far less of a faff to clean afterwards. I'm also a bit more health-wary with the amount of butter necessary to make really good scrambled eggs (or is butter deemed healthy these days, I never can keep up?). Ian Fleming - who lived on scrambled eggs - died at 56 but that probably had far more to do with smoking 100 cigarettes a day than his regular enjoyment of "the breakfast of princes".

I bet JD’s scrambled eggs were to die for. Kirsty’s would be overcooked with the liquid running out of them. Roy would prefer his eggs fried. Clarrie’s scrambled eggs are probably ok. I expect Elizabeth prefers an egg-white omelette (when she is not pretending to like fishfingers!)

Oh this is really quite a fun game. Any other views on how the people of Ambridge might like their eggs?

So currently Ben has moved back to Brookfield for the foreseeable future? And Josh is living alone at the Stables? I know we’ve already talked about Shula maybe not needing the rent - but it all seems so upside down. Or have I misunderstood?

And if Ben is running the B&B until, what, September - who’s going to run it when he returns to his nursing training? Or will that be another abandoned career?

(I have absolutely no interest in eggs cooked by anyone but me.)

Any other views on how the people of Ambridge might like their eggs?

As the old joke goes, in the case of Chelsea, "unfertilised" would be good.

Eggs-cellent work, all!

I expect Lynda and Robert do excellent Eggs Benedict for the B&B guests. Jill is probably a dab hand at lemon meringue pie.

Jennydarling made a mean savoury flan

I remember my DM buying a microwave egg poacher in the early era of microwaving. It was a sort of beige plastic ring with round indentations for the eggs.

Sound familiar? It ended up in a jumble sale I think after about five years in the back of the cupboard as we all preferred eggs done in the pan.

My one was a bit like this

www.amazon.co.uk/Microware-Microwave-Poacher-Stain-Free/dp/B01NAQ2KSF/

only with more sticking out round the sides, and had very strict instructions about making a hole in the membrane round the yolk and putting two teaspoonfuls of water, no more and no less, with each egg. And you had to start by putting a bit of butter into each bit you were using and melting that before you put the egg in.

And then the egg stuck to it and it was horrible to clean.

This picture is very similar to the version we had:

www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/674695587913473927/

And yes there were very precise rules about the water/butter and it was a PITA to clean afterward. It was more work than poaching in a pan.

This would have been way back in the 70s I think, when there was a fad for cooking anything and everything in "The Microwave".

That looks strangely familiar @AskingQuestionsAllTheTime . I think I mght have had some. I've got some silicon poaching pods. I suspect they've not been used more than once.

Went to the supermarket yesterday and got a swede to try the singing swede. It's a big supermarket and the veg shelves looked a lot barer than usual. I had anticipated a lack of turnips and I was right, but they had swedes. I bought a huge one, as they were priced individually (80p!) but as it was 1.256 kg I didn't think it too bad. I also got the largest butternut squash on display, and I will try to cook both in the microwave. There wasn't much in the way of green veg. but I did get lettuce. There weren't any tomatoes. It was Saturday evening though, and the shelves often are emptier then. There were no eggs but I wasn't in need of them.

Given that I am not mad about butternut squash or swede, I'll need to be inventive. I won't each whole one at the same time, sort of cut and come again approach seems to work. (Doesn't work for me with cake though. Strange that.)

I ate the pancake mix today. It seemed ok. DCat had a tiny bit too but it wasn't a patch on dreamies.

What happened to the Home Farm polytunnels after Adam left?

Wasn’t Lynda marvellous as the B&B consultant. And wasn’t David a grouchy old pain in the arse. He never really makes life easy for Ben or Josh, does he. I thought Ben did very well and Lynda was very sweet.

Agreed on all points!

Florentine. Thank you! I said it first!!

(definitely no milk - what an abomination!) So what’s to distinguish it from a mushed up omelette ?

I have a poacher, but I use it over a frying pan of water on the stove top. I can’t cope with the stringy white bits you sometimes get if you cook them loose

I bet Neil loves soft boiled eggs with soldiers.

Was Lily a bit ‘off’ with Noluthando, or am I still smarting from her calling her ‘urban’ all those years ago?

I wasn't really listening to Lily in that scene because I was too entertained by Freddie's idea of young volunteers doing something that should really be either a paid role or is classic 'retired volunteer' territory. Goes back to the previous conversation about LL wanting volunteers when they should be employing staff. In the current economic climate I really can't see them being overwhelmed by the under-50s even if they do run a social media campaign.

It did make me wonder though if Nolunthando might choose to stay in the UK and head up the new LL education department with specific provision for school visits above and beyond whatever Cliff (?) has to offer. She could be a great member of staff and it would be nice to have her and Freddie working together.

Occasional listener. Joining to lurk and for the egg tips.

Scrambled eggs: i always like them when camping and employ the Swallows and Amazons method of having a common dish and following what Susan learned from the farmer's wife. Heat the pan, add butter and when the eggs start to cook, scrape like mad.

the LL/volunteer parts made me shouty. I want them to employ Roy and visitors to leave great comments about how fabulous is. Freddie and Noli sounded so ageist and condescending. Loved Lizzy putting Freddy right about his "job title"

And Alan. Finally. Jennifer is a friend and he can empathise with Brian having also lost his wife? Why the heck hasn't he been heard from up to now.
And where's all this Holy-Harrison stuff leading to. (oh no. Alan is going to leave and Harrison is going to leave the Force and become a priest, isn't he?)

Maybe Lower Loxley could approach the local school. Volunteering opportunity for Duke of Edinburgh award teenagers. I remember we needed to volunteer as part of the scheme for community service.