💥 Archers thread #119: Has the Bull reopened? Will Ambridge pull through? We’ve all dozed off and haven't a clue. Moan about the monologues here!

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think we should have monologues all the time from now on, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3853783--The-Archers-spoilers-thread-5-Cant-wait-for-7-02pm-Join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks to PPE on the last thread for the title suggestion, which I tweaked a bit.

As for the current state of affairs: here's how it could have been done. www.youtube.com/channel/UCvRSVdfQWAjNhNu1AtABYjw Nigel Pargetter returns, albeit in spectral form. I loved these.

I don't love the current set up. Very, very hit and miss for me - but I am too much of an addict to give it up. Looking for a silver lining, maybe the rather clunky trot through the Aldridge family tree last night was helpful to newer listeners. It is rather convoluted. In 12.5 minutes they managed to explain that Adam and Debbie are Jennifer's children by different fathers, that Debbie's father Roger Travers-Macy adopted Adam, that after he and Jenny divorced she married Brian and that he (secretly) loves Adam and not nearly so secretly adores Debbie. I don't think they explicitly stated that Kate and Alice are Brian's children with Jenny, but they did manage to squeeze in a mention of Siobhan and Ruairi, and explain that Xander is Adam's son by a surrogate and has no genetic connection to either Brian or Xander's other father Ian. Phew!

Now that I’ve seen the David actor in his garden shed in west London, that’s the image I get of him whenever he speaks. It kinda spoils the dramatic moment.

I really enjoyed that short video of the actor in his shed. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I find his delivery to be believable. The way I see it is he’s burdened with ridiculous characterisations of his family relationships, but that’s not the actor’s fault.

I had my hopes up that David would confront Philip over flytipping, as that's plausibly something that the nitwit Gavin or one of the 'horses' would do, but no. Oh well.

Meanwhile, will Kenton see the profile Jolene wrote for Elizabeth and conclude that Jolene is going on a dating site herself? Or will Harrison see it and think Fallon's looking elsewhere? Or both?

David may be feeling bad about confronting Joy, but there's plenty of advice about warning you to ask to see the waste license of any contractor - you as originator of the waste are also liable for any fly tipping. Good job for Joy he didn't take it to Harrison.

Talking about Harrison - with all his wails about never having any decent crime to solve - he's had plenty of opportunities and has failed miserably. Matt's accident, flood ... even the bunting was beyond him.

Oh Gaspode, I really wish you wouldn't! You're doing what DH does, looking at this from the author's/SW point of view, looking inside at all the cogs, why is this here? what does it do? I really can't face the woes of Harrison thinking Fallon's looking elsewhere.

I thought Harrison said it wasn't a police matter? He was wrong: fly-tipping is a crime, and the police do take it seriously. Or at least, they have been in this county, with an average of one prosecution a week during the past couple of years and more over lockdown when the official tips were closed.

Also, that particular piece of fly-tipping caused loss of income and criminal damage: the repairs to the combine and the loss of the harvested grain probably cost in the thousands not just the hundreds of pounds. David's and Home Farm's insurance companies will want to know why the police took no action and didn't even record the crime, just brushed David off when he tried to report it.

Sorry! she said insincerely. I find I start thinking in that way when the writing is so unsubtle that you know something's being set up.

Reverting to the poverty of the monologue format, I binge watched Staged yesterday. Loved it. All recorded in lockdown.

I think we are on our third time through Staged, and it is still very, very funny. I think, though, that it’s not fair to compare it to TA since there are so many visual jokes - “is that you on the mug?” “Why do you do that with your mouth?”, which add to it. You couldn’t really have people sitting in stony silence not talking to each other on the radio either. The same is true of the Talking Heads monologues where the expressions on their faces are important and silence plays a part.

Reverting to the poverty of the monologue format ...
It's not the format that is wrong, as evidenced by The Pargetter Triptych.
... I binge watched Staged yesterday.
It's brilliant, isn't it. It looks like they had an absolute hoot doing it.
We watched a couple of Talking Heads early in the series which were weird and, frankly, unsettling so we gave up. Very disappointing and not what you needed in lockdown.

The stories that we've seen on Talking Heads, are definitely dark, child abuse and incest being two of the subjects, but Alan Bennett is such a good writer. There have certainly been times we haven't felt up to watching them though, due to their darkness. You have to be in a certain frame of mind.

We really enjoyed Staged. I was disappointed when we came to the end. Excellent chemistry between David Tennant and Michael Sheene, and the cameos were fun and unexpected!

Private Eye issue 1526 (17th-30th July 2020) says on page 18

"Emergency Covid editions of The Archers have prompted umbridge in Ambridge and universal derision from critics, Tweeters, and Radio 4's own Feedback listener response spot. And no wonder.
"Actors at home record turgid interior monologues from characters whose outer thoughts are rarely striking; and to allow some speaking aloud, one character has improbably been given a radio show. There are also phone calls, of which listeners only hear one side.It all sounds more like bad-quality fan fiction recorded on a dodgy phone than professional radio; Zoom and Skype seem not to have reached Borsetshire.
"Executives tried to excuse the pisspoor effort by blaming the difficulties of producing drama in lockdown. Yet in the same period other Radio 4 drama and comedy achieved slick and complex scenes through Zoom recording and clever editing, blending separate sound streams into dialogue.
"The difference, insiders say, is that Broadcasting House bosses decided at the start of lockdown it would be impossible to create normal-sounding shows. Staff were told to aim for 'simplified formats' and 'reduced content'. The Archers, an in-house production, was made under these no-sweat terms. But the more sophisticated lockdown fictions came from independent producers, who, knowing that they wouldn't get paid if they didn't deliver and might not be recommissioned if they delivered weakly, worked hard and innovated to overcome the restrictions."

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I thought all along that it wouldn't have been the techies who chickened out.

Did I imagine the continuity announcer saying the series editor was Sarah Swadling? I hope Jeremy Howe is ok!

Just when you thought that it couldn't get any worse...

Oh, I don't know. I think whoever wrote Harrison Burns having to read out a line about getting into trouble on a night out was having a rather splendid laugh at James Cartwright's expense.

Other than that it was beyond dire.

I was completely thrown by Ambridge suddenly time-travelling forward from about late April to early July, and pubs reopening!!

That sort of thing almost causes the listener to doubt the reality of the whole thing, and that is most definitely Not Allowed!!!

There should have been synchronised puking at 19:16 tonight. Dire and mawkish shite, not even slightly redeemed by news of Young Harrison having been Horribly Bullied at Skool, although that is of course a good thing. I do hope the section house stepped up, not that those exist any more.

My loyalties are being severely tested. I almost feel glad that we don't have any more Archers until Monday evening. What a load of old toot that was.

I was rolling with the monologues, better than nothing, I thought. But the online dating story is just the end. Please say we’re not going to have to listen to Elizabeth moping after online chats with unsuitable suitors.

Surely it’s time to get back to more normal episodes now. The SWs must have figured this out by now, TA is the only bit of life that still seems to be struggling so hopelessly. Are they so totally devoid of imagination and ambition that they’re happy to let their programme just die on its feet. They put a lot more effort into those videos of the actors telling us how great it would be than actually making the programme.

Did I imagine the continuity announcer saying the series editor was Sarah Swadling? I hope Jeremy Howe is ok!

Isn't she the agricultural advisor?

I was rolling with the monologues, better than nothing, I thought. But the online dating story is just the end. Please say we’re not going to have to listen to Elizabeth moping after online chats with unsuitable suitors.

The 🔮 foretold E's foray into OLD in the last thread.

It suspects she might get a response from... Russ.

Bore - god forbid that prediction comes true.

Well, the 🔮 has been right before Chemenger

What does the Intern think? The young folk are always swipng left and right, after all.

I should try and get her back, shouldn’t I, not been in touch for a while.

Too busy swiping and having socially-distanced hookups, I expect.

Wonder if Russ will send E a picture of his willy? I understand from reading the Relationships board that happens quite a lot.

The thought of CMR's dick pic has renewed my interest in TA.

I've dabbled in OLD, and when I was on there about 15 yrs ago, the messages would get very rude about 3 messages in.
More recently, very little rudeness, just boring middle-aged men who were obviously divorced for being dull