Archers thread #114: Bull banished, Bali beaches beckon, bickering bullshitters burgeon

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed. We don't all agree on all points and most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like Gavin to stay around, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please. We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3439443-keep-it-to-yourself-the-archers-spoilers-thread-4, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for all thread title suggestions! I've gone with a B theme which with a bit of luck will seem odd and irrelevant by the end of this thread. Here's hoping, anyway.

Haven't caught up with tonight's episode yet, so off to do that shortly.

Of course Josh's arrest would happen while Vince was there.

But why did Fiona’s ‘revelation’ have to be in the exact same 12 and a half minutes? It’s hard to see how the two stories could possibly be linked.

I think Rex Dobbed him in

Why has Fiona turned into Anna Mk2? Are we supposed to have forgotten that she and Carol existed?

It's like Lexi turning up and being, as a character not plot, (oh bollocks I've forgotten her name...) previous lovely Easter European woman with two daughters, Mk2.

I missed the lesbian bit, what happened?

I did hear Josh get arrested.

Fiona your dad already knows. It was obvious on the other episode.

previous lovely Easter European woman with two daughters
Mrs HWMNBN, Elona.

I missed the lesbian bit, what happened?
At lunch at the pub formerly known as The Bull (i.e. well out of earshot of Jim), Fi told Al who her holiday companion was.

Yes, that's the one!

What I've learned from TA: If you need a lovely, thoughtful, loyal friend; or anything cleaning; or maybe a surrogate child; find yourself a 30-something Eastern European woman with two teenage daughters. She'll be fabulous. But then she'll have to leave and you'll be sad.

Until they spoke further about the friend, I thought the friend was Andy. But anyway, the link between the two stories from tonight? (I hope this doesn’t happen as it’s too obvious and unsubtle) Josh gets charged, Anna Tregorran defends him, Fiona meets her and it’s all off with Andy/Angi/Andrea. I suspect too that Jim won’t be a bit fazed by his daughter being a lesbian - he probably guessed so years ago.

Re-Josh and his arrest,where was Jill? I need to know what she thinks about it. Expect a big sigh and a dim view being taken.

I suspect too that Jim won’t be a bit fazed by his daughter being a lesbian
Fiona does know he was a classics professor, doesn't she?

I was quite cross at Alistair and Fiona saying they'd been badgering Jim to open up to them. Leave the poor man alone!

Hopefully someone with experience on legal matters will explain to me how the detective arresting Josh (hurrah and BOOP) could claim that they didn't need a search warrant.

how the detective could claim that they didn't need a search warrant.
I also loved the idea of getting David to prove that he owned all the equipment on the farm. Imagine all the pre-industrial equipment hanging on the walls as authentic decorations in the mediaeval threshing barn.

A farm near me with two lovely looking barns is hosting a wedding fair at their venue shortly. Venue hire seem to be between £2.5-£5k depending on the month/day and they have a named firm of caterers you are expected to use. They can arrange a vintage Massey Fergusson prop for photos (nice little earner for Tony?). I see they offer the venue for wakes too - opportunity missed there SW!

Anyway, my point is that a kitchen and toilet block (and presumably a parking area for guests etc) is going to cost considerably more than a few thousand - the Dopeys are going to need lots of people to hire it.

If that barn is so old and special (though I am sure it was torched) surely any work requires listed buildings consent (which takes considerably longer than a few weeks over Christmas to get). I bet Asking can tell us all about the barn?

I do hope Anna (and Carol) returns - whilst Borsetshire seems to have an infinite supply of police out solving crime, they do seem to be a bit light on solicitors and barristers.

Fiona and Michael would be nice additions to the "pops in from time to time" cast list too.

Anyway, my point is that a kitchen and toilet block (and presumably a parking area for guests etc) is going to cost considerably more than a few thousand - the Dopeys are going to need lots of people to hire it

I find this whole storyline ridiculous. Both Kenton and Elizabeth tried to warn David about what was involved in weddings and he was incredibly rude and dismissive of their knowledge, despite having no clue what was involved.

Its a huge amount of planning and work to go into this kind of event. You don't just sweep out the barn, bolt on some portaloos and take some tacky leaflets to a wedding fair.

can't josh get a couple of bathroom trailers for them?

good ones are like proper restrooms inside...

Both Kenton and Elizabeth tried to warn David
Kenton is hardly the go-to at the moment for Successful Events expertise.

Kenton is hardly the go-to at the moment for Successful Events expertise

Harsh! The stupid renaming and fall out for Burns Night was driven by Lil/Jolene with him opposing it.

David is one of those annoying people who assumes everything done by anyone else is easy but his job is speshal and difficult and can only be done by his own spawn. Brian is pretty much the only farmer he ever seemed to look up to and everyone else is dismissed.

I do see why someone might dismiss the warnings of their two experienced siblings who were probably wary of new business encroaching on their profits ... But, as someone mentioned yesterday, it’s hard to understand why Vince Cable’s daughter’s wedding so suddenly became the whole meaning of Brookfield. And needed three members of the family in attendance. And a potential tussle with Cable over fees. The showing around should have been done by a hired underling - and the pricing should have been available online. No need for awkward conversations.

Not that any of that matters now. I think I probably fell asleep and woke up wishing I were a fly on the LL wall when Elizabeth hears about Josh.

And Freddie. What. Will. Freddie. Say???

I think I probably fell asleep and woke up wishing I were a fly on the LL wall when Elizabeth hears about Josh.

I don’t know about Elizabeth but I haven’t heard last night’s episode yet and I nearly let out an extremely loud squeal of delight on the train home when I read about Josh’s arrest.

I too want to hear from Jill. Do the police allow grandmothers to make emergency deliveries of flapjacks to the cells?

Jill is familiar with the inside of Borchester Police Station, isn't she? She was nearly arrested at the protest outside the new posh restaurant (Les Soeurs Heureuses?) that replaced the soup kitchen a couple of years ago. Can't remember why now. Kirsty was there too.

That's true about David. Presumably comes out of the deep significance of land and its role in his sense of self. So, to be a true farmer, the best kind, you have to have been born on your farm and breathed in farming from birth.

That means that farm-children who go off and do other jobs must be doing something easy, because it's been learnt in adulthood. (Pity none of the farming spawn have become surgeons, academics or anything else with really specialist training. Oh hang on, Alice has done that. But she's swung her engineering expertise round to become another 'farming facilitator' so back to being second best to actual farmers).

It also means that farmers who were not born on any farm, never mind their ancestral one, like Ruth, are never quite the best kind of farmer. Ruth took a long time to gain respect from David for her cow expertise. Brookfield and the barn are still referred to as 'David's barn' etc. Not 'David and Ruth's'.

I do see why someone might dismiss the warnings of their two experienced siblings who were probably wary of new business encroaching on their profits

I think David's assumption that they were scared of the competition is a good example of him knowing absolutely nothing about the hospitality industry, especially special events.

Kenton/Elizabeth are in completely different sections of the market. Elizabeth tried to explain this to David and he was rude and dismissive of her experience.

It would serve him right if he took a bath at the hands of Vince Casey. He has to be the most entitled character in the Archers (except possibly Kate and Pip).

@SurpriseSparDay Vince Cable made me properly chuckle. :o

Where was my head at?