Sad news about Edward Kelsey. As a tribute, I'm unashamedly going to copy this transcription here - it was from last October.
It’s really hard to capture all the little murmurs and half-laughs that the actors do so naturally and brilliantly. There was a lot of talking over each other. I've tried to show where two lines were spoken simultaneously.
Eddie: Sorry about your carpet.
Joe: Err-ah, cats and dogs out there it is.
Justin: Ah, well I’m sure it’ll dry, mm, eventually. So-
Eddie: yes, what it is, Justin, we’ve got a proposition for you – or Damara huh– or Borchester Land, huh, whatever –
Joe: A-a-a unique opportunity for you and your cronies –
E: -business associates-/ Joe: - to support local cultural activities.
Ju: Wait – is this about Apple Day? –
Joe: no, no, no, no / Justin: because I have already-
Joe: although it is connected.
(pause)
E: You may not be aware of the vital social service performed for the community by the Grange Farm Cider Club.
Ju: Social service?
Joe: Your missus knows
E: Yeah! Lillian could tell you. The counselling which the group offers to them what are experiencing temporary difficulties in their lives -
Joe: Ooh, many’s the bloke who’s arrived down in the dumps and left HIGH as a kite!
Ed: From an emotional and spiritual perspective, like.
Ju: Mmm, And there was I thinking it was just a dive where ne’er-do-wells got plastered at bargain prices –
Joe: No, no, no, no, it’s an important local ane-neminity.
Ju: Hmm, is it, Joe?
E: It’s just that the bathroom facilities are a bit primitive. Well… non-existent really. So we was thinking you might like to sponsor some building works-
Joe: W-we can handle the practicalities.
E: Yeah. We’d just need you to put up say… a grand for materials
Ju: H-yeh, you want me to pay for a lavatory for a bunch of boozers?
Joe: Got it in one. Oh, I said he was quick, didn’t I?
Ju: Ohh, surely you should be talking to Oliver Sterling about this. He’s your landlord.
E: Ah, well, Oliver’s been very good to us already. So we didn’t think it were appropriate.
Joe: Any road, he said no.
E: But he’s happy for us to do the work. As long as we can raise the money. We could… probably get it done for nine hundred at a pinch.
Ju: Yeah, I’m sorry.
E: Seven. And we’d make sure you got full credit.
Ju: I- I do need to get on.
Joe: It would have a plaque and everything –
Ju: I have a luncheon appointment.
Ed: Free membership for life?
Ju: N-no!... Thank you. B-but if it will get you out of my hair –
Ed: Yeah?
Ju: We do have a job finishing in Borchester – North Road – there’s a portable site toilet that might be looking for a home…
Joe: One of them tardis things? That en’t exactly an enn-sweet, is it - / E: shut up, Dad.
E: And we could have it?
Ju: Yes.
E: Brilliant!
Ju: But I need an absolute assurance from you-
E: anything
Ju: no plaques, no publicity, and DEFINITELY no membership! This donation is strictly anonymous.