The story of Thomas the rabbit
A nice laydee expecting a baby
Picked me up and I thought maybe
she will buy me to put in the nursery,
instead of which she told Kirsty
that I was a present for Henry her son
who's actually five but sounds just one.
Henry took me to Bridge Farm
where his great granny exclaimed in alarm
that Henry was too old for me
but Henry carried on cuddling me
Henry named me Thomas the rabbit
but his Daddy said it was a bad habit
for Mummy to buy Henry chocolate and toys
when there were more appropriate presents for boys
Like hunting gear and a power ranger
and chocolate from nice Granny Ursula
Rob told Henry to sit very still
and not move a muscle unless or until
Henry learned to be obedient
but I don't think he knew what it meant
Henry took me and his egg from the cupboard
and shared his chocolate with me till he was discovered
by Rob who threw me in the bin
with the remains of the Easter egg, saying Henry was in
big, big trouble for letting himself down
and behaving like a despicable clown.
I didn't like Rob, the bunny binner,
but Helen cooked him a special dinner
of tuna bake which Rob said he hated
but this time enthusiastically ate it.
Helen told Rob she wanted to leave,
but Rob just said that he couldn't believe
that Helen who he said belonged to him
could be so so disobedient as a wife
and then he forced her to take the knife.
I sat in the bin, powerless to help
and then I heard a piercing yelp:
Helen and Rob were having a fight
and Helen was scared that Henry might
be hurt by Rob and so she then
stabbed Rob in the chest and abdomen.
I cowered in the bin while Rob bled
and Helen told Kirsty he was dead.
The police and medics took Rob away
with a bit of a kafuffle I have to say.
They tipped bloody custard all over me
and bits of dinner and crockery.
A week in the bin and I'm wondering why
the whole place smells of burnt apple pie.