Will it be porridge or curtains for Knob? Await a sensible and sensitive ending to That Storyline on The Archers thread.

[PseudoBadger]

Threads are moving so fast! Will this thread be here to welcome SOK?

D3 - it wasn't clear whether she took the number or not.
Helen didn't come across to me as being vile, but as an abused woman in denial. When she was sobbing to Kirsty last week it was because she feels she is the problem in her marriage - and that's because Rob has done such a good gaslighting job on her.
A speedy Easter resolution would be great for all our blood pressures but won't necessarily be very realistic - unless it's because Rob inflicts a very svere assault upon her resulting in hospitalisation and arrest

I wonder if the boarding school storyline is a bit Obvious. Maybe Henry will disclose a different secret ? < ponders>

I wondered if it was misdirection, too, Kr1stina but the fact that they have SOC and Helen booked in to WH suggests something is afoot. So, if not the BS, then something equally dramatic.

I can't believe people are criticizing Helen for the way she talked to Kirsty. I can only assume thy haven't been listening to the programme over the last few months.

Henry didn't witness any violence so I'm not sure what else he could say - 'daddy said this mean thing about mummy' can be easily excused by rob saying he was stressed by his wife's irrational behaviour. Tbh the boarding school can be easily covered to 'oh I was just telling him about my school and he must have found it interesting so is making this up..'

Ea is hard to explain- especially for a 5yo - hitting, rape and trying to send your step child away and alienate him from his mother are far more tangible.

Kirsty has been far too pushy twice now and is focussing on the slap. She doesn't really understand what's going on with the ea after all. At the moment Helen can dismiss the slap as a one off that she provoked so Kirsty's concerns will seem extreme.

I think they've been listening through the prism of stereotypes about DV Bertrand.

Even though the scriptwriters are doing a fantastic job at tackling them and breaking them down, it's hard for people to readjust their thinking,

It's obvious that Helen's behaviour is an obstinate fear response and a defence mechanism. She doesn't want to believe anything is wrong with her marriage and I can't understand why that should be considered a character failing. No one wants to believe anything's wrong with their lives and denial was a gift given to us, to protect us from how horrible our lives are until we're ready to face up to that truth and do something about it.

If it were true to life of course, this storyline would go on for 10 years and we'd all be nervous wrecks by the end of it.

Helen is an unpleasant character and she was very much 'old' Helen last night. She has always had a way of talking to people that isn't very nice!

Doesn't change the fact she is a victim here and needs support - but at least it does show that they haven't totally rewritten her character (like patbot). After this sl is over and the dust has settled I don't expect her to suddenly be a kind and compassionate person! I expect her to be Helen again - but maybe with even more distrust of relationships

Maybe the secret is something to do with the questionable scalding incident?

Kr1stina you could be on to something.
Maybe we should prepare are own list of questions for WH

Xpost - it's not what she said its how she said it. She was very 'Helen' last night. Which is a good thing! It shows they can still write her and you would expect her to be more her usual self without rob around - she isn't able to be herself with him as she is scared - although she wouldn't admit that.

Given the reaction Kirsty got so you think it's time she spoke to pat or Tom or Ian? The fact Helen has retreated back into her shell when Kirsty is so worried about her safety must push her to try and get some support? I was hoping she might say something to Lynda.

I'm surprised they were able to talk for so long without robs antenna twitching.

I don't think Rob will deny BS if Henry blabs about it. Since he wants to send him there asap, what would be the point? I think his telling Henry about it is the BS part of of the BS storyline (which I personally don't have an issue with).

I think the old Hellin surfaced again last night because knob was about to appear out of the shop at any minute and it would give the game away. Knob has plenty of form for overhearing spying on hellins conversations and maybe she is becoming aware of this?

Maybe when Ursilla has gone and r&h are alone he will find the phone number then he will hit her? Although my money's on the BS row erupting.

Maybe Henry is going to recount mummy's sleepwalking and how funny she was talking about mowing the lawn?? That would be a pretty stark revelation to Hellin.

glowfrog it is odd Knob telling Henry about BS and the only way I can rationalise it is knob getting him onside ('but darling, he desperately WANTS to go...'). But he is a five year old talking about something he has no concept of so no normal adult is going to just accept that. So yes it must be to push SL forward.

I hope Kirsty doesn't go around telling more people.

What would be the point?

They will all go steaming in with their size 9s too. It really doesn't help. Then she will feel bullied, talked about and ganged up on.

It's actually a question that gets asked on MN a lot. My friend is being abused what can I do?

The response is pretty much always the same. Be there. Make it clear you will always be there if they need you. Don't give up on them. And listen to what they have to say.

I'm not pinning my hopes on the Woman's Hour interview signalling any resolution, because it seems very unlikely that it could happen so quickly. It does look like it's building up to some sort of crisis this weekend, and with any luck that will involve Helen's eyes being opened, but it may well be that that is all that they will be discussing.

The bit I really liked was the contrast between Helen with "real problems" even if she is in denial and others moaning at her: Brian and Lynda. In my experience when something bad is going on, but you are putting a brave face on it people do tend to tell you about their trivial problems (which makes it even harder to tell them about your big ones).

Kirsty has been far too pushy twice now and is focussing on the slap. She doesn't really understand what's going on with the ea after all.

She was told by Rob in no uncertain terms never to darken his door again. She knows Helen is being isolated. She has spoken to WA so has the ticklist of what to look out for.
She is focusing on the slap because that is undeniable. All the gaslighting can be 'explained' away but not a physical attack.
But she was too full on. Maybe she feels that she has to be because her chances to talk to Helen are few and not long.

Helen reminded me of Nigella Lawson after the Saatchi abuse came out, vehemently denying she was 'some sort of battered wife', when she said 'that's not who I am'. Sadly, it clearly seems like there's some sort of stigma that threatens a woman's identity when she becomes cast in that position.

I thought that was good writing too mummytime. I longed for Brian to say, "I'm happy to give you a lift Helen, but why arent you driving?" And then when she said she couldn't because she was pregnant or because Rob didn't think it was a good idea, for him to say something normal like, "Good heavens Jennie drove right through her pregnancies." Or, "Ha, I can't imagine me telling Jennie what's she's allowed to do!" Just to give Helen a bit of a reminder of what's normal.

Lynda is so kind hearted, if she had even an inkling that something was wrong I'm sure she'd scoop Helen up, take her for tea and cake and get her to say what's wrong. I suspect that, when the abuse is known, she's going to feel very guilty that she was so wrapped up in her own gardening stresses that she didn't even ask Helen how she was.

I'm not sure that Adam has even spoken to Helen since she and Ian fell out. Although Adam is Helen's cousin maybe Ian is the one who maintains the social links and now he's not doing that Adam isn't really seeing Helen. And hasn't even noticed. Another person completely wrapped up in their own life.

I wonder if Charlie will end up learning of the abuse. Does he have any friends in the village apart from Adam? Will he feel that he should have pursued his suspicion that Rob blocked the culvert and was fiddling the books?

Shula should feel bad. She is possibly the only person, other than Helen, who has witnessed Rob both being violent and lying. I don't think she'll be surprised when it all comes out.

Sadly, it clearly seems like there's some sort of stigma that threatens a woman's identity when she becomes cast in that position.

Very much so. Partly because this is still very much a victim blaming culture. Why didn't she just leave? Why did she put up with that? How could she do that to her dc? Nb. In an abusive household the person responsible for the detrimental effect on the dc is the abuser.

I remember it actually being one of the hardest things to come to terms with. It is a deep wound to heal. Which is IMO why survivors often are deeply unhappy after they escape because then you have to peel away the denial and face it and try to work out how on earth that happened to you. It is like being conned.

I still have moments when some trivial event springs to mind and I think fucks sake why did I not leave him sooner. Yesterday it was remembering that he once shouted at me because I gave him corn on the cob and butter and a knife instead of buttering it for him and he told me I was a selfish cunt. No normal person does that.

I think Lynda will have a role to play. If she isn't instrumental in helping H get out I think/hope she will be there in the aftermath to tell her it wasn't her fault.

SeekEveryKnown - yes, one of the ways abuse victims don't recognise their abuse, is because they don't see themselves in the role of victim. Victims are supposed to be a certain way; they're not that way, therefore they can't be a victim.

It's absolutely 100% believable that Helen can't recognise her abuse because that's not her self-image.

And of course, it's one of the reasons why that myth - that a victim is a certain way - is so damaging.

It ensures that people don't recognise when they or people they know, are being abused.

Kirsty hasnt seen half of what's gone on though - she hasn't heard what we have! Her information is limited and a lot is based on her gut.

The sleepwalking is a good point - that is something Henry could talk about that would undermine robs version 'I wasn't scared. Mummy was funny'