Knob throttlers form an orderly queue at Blossom Hill Cottage! Discuss the Archers on the Official Thread

[PseudoBadger]

Do you know that I was 3 months pregnant when the first thread started - DD was 2 yesterday

That must also mean that Poppy Grundy's 2nd birthday has passed by unremarked upon...

The whole episode was heavy handed wrt people thinking rob is a good guy

As for Ruth, is the sink hole still around to push her in?

Outliving your parents is normal, but they are still your mum and dad, and it is crossing over some sort of boundary. When my parents died, I noticed that people who had lost theirs did see it as being orphaned somehow, and those who still had theirs thought it was nothing like being orphaned at all. Of course it's different from being orphaned as a child, but it does remove some of your roots, I think.

I hope Helen will be able to call back at some point to talk about the possibility of abuse.

And I hope she'll show her annoyance at Rob for telling Peggy.

Well as the midwife thinks rob is the perfect man I don't think Helen will feel she can tell her

That was a looooong 13 minutes.

No re-lurking elpth! Everyone hears different things so the more posts, the more rounded a view we achieve.

Also we need weight of numbers to keep the SWs up to scratch.

I agree BYOS - that's exactly how they're positioning it. And reinforcing her isolation with Peggy's comments on the wonder that is Rob.

Wasn't Peggy's first husband abusive?

Note to SW: we don't like Ruth. We don't care about her and her grief. It's getting tedious so please stop it.

I used the word orphan about Ruth because I think that is how she feels at the moment. I think her feelings about severing all her links with Prudhoe were very heartfelt - HP's death cuts the last tie with her past and she has no siblings to share those memories which must be particularly tough. Actually I really identify with her feelings - she hasn't lived in Prudhoe for years, but she feels like that's her home - if anyone asked her where she came from she'd say Prudhoe (even though she's rooted in Ambridge now along with her three children). Her family, her home and her life are in Ambridge now - they have been for years, but she's only just facing up to this. It is a particularly stark contrast with David's situation - living in his childhood home, surrounded by siblings and other family - he cannot possibly understand how she feels. When both his parents are dead he will still be living in their house and will be surrounded by people who shared his childhood.

Ok, no relurking, thanks for the welcome everyone
I'm always wrangling DC into bed so tend to read this before catching up. It really enhances listening and DH often asks what MN think happened/will happen next. He also discusses this thread with one of his colleagues
Looking forward to catching up with tonight's especially the midwife appt, having recently done all that myself. I was asked for DC1 about abuse but not DC2. Is that normal or were others asked for each pregnancy?

Did they call the midwife Ellie or Amy? If it was Amy, it's the vicar's daughter. If not, it's a random person who has also been taken in by Knob. I'm starting to find all the Knob-worshipping a little irritating now.

Just listened to this evening episode. Am I reading too much into this or did Knob leave the room to take a phone call and then lurk outside the door to listen in while the midwife grilled Helen? I just had the feeling that when he called Peggy back it had been her calling during the appointment (but he clearly didn't take it because he said he had missed her call).

Ellie

The stumble obverse robs first wife was interesting, wondering if he's aiming to mould Hellin into Jess Mark 2.

Jack Archer was an alcoholic. I don't know if he was abusive in other ways, but it often comes with the territory. And living with an alcoholic can be hard enough.

Thank you Whenshe for the flowers, my first ever on MN

I agree it is of course a major life event when parents die, whatever their children's ages. There is no hierarchy of grief, but I still lift my eyebrows slightly (and figuratively I hope) when older adults refer to themselves as orphans. I lost both my parents by the time I was 18 and did not consider myself an orphan because I had made it through to adulthood (and would have hated that label and all its connotations)

Interesting about the dreams Mummytime - for a long time I dreamt that my mother and I were estranged.

Sorry for the thread-jack and back to TA …

Lillian during the abuse convo the sound of someone making drinks could clearly be heard in the background - I assumed that was meant to convey that if we could hear that, then Rob could hear Helen.

Not listened to tonight's yet but maybe I should; raging toothache should help me think clearly about Helen's problem!

No, no, you've got Rob all wrong. He's an attentive husband, had been a loving father to Henry, and is going to be hands on with the baby, I'm sure. Helen is so lucky to have him. What a perfect family they will be...

now, if it had been on the telly, we would have seen that the mw clocked H's glancing at the kitchen door (from whence cam the clearly audible drink prep sounds)
she will ask again, mark my words (taps nose)

Orphaned is exactly the word that sprang into my head after my mother died when I was 40. I have a brother and we have become closer since but we both feel a severance and value that we both have the same memories which we can share.
When the house was sold we became detached from the place we had been children in and no reason ever to return there.
Also, there are things we both can't remember clearly or past events we are puzzled about but there's no one left to ask.
So yes it is a sort of orphaning. A loss of roots.

I agree, that midwife was intensely odd.

I just had booking in with mw a couple of weeks ago and no abuse question but prepared to believe that differs across services. But all the long asides about how it's different having a baby in a stable relationship and the 'knob-worshipping' as one of you put it so beautifully above, was just plain weird.

Although having said that, in general, I do think having a baby by oneself is one of those things that other people feel weirdly free to comment on.

The juxtaposition of David and Ruth with Hellin and Rob is good - there is very little difference on paper between David asking, "are you coming down?" (For tea) and Rob's "where are you going?" (As Helen is off to the bathroom) but one is entirely innocuous and the other totally intimidating and menacing.

Lillian Your analysis of Ruth's position makes a lot of sense to me, and makes me feel quite a lot more sympathetic towards her.

oh yes, and the 'wife/first-wife' slip of the tongue was interesting. My impression was that he still saw Jess as his 'real' wife, and Helen still something else. Perhaps all the insistence on a child and a 'proper' family is still about Jess and being able to parade his 'perfect family' around to look down on her and rub her nose in what he thinks she's 'lost' (did he leave her or she him? I can't remember. I can imagine if she left, even given the fact he was shagging Helen he'd feel slighted enough to want revenge)

Is it just me or does everyone feel a start of anxiety when rob comes into a scene? Even though he doesn't (usually) say anything aggressive but more 'oh Hellin darling' etc he still comes across as menacing?

Peggy sounded positively anxious when rob turned up, but then became all over flattered by his 'lovely to see you Peggy' act.

The mw sounded taken in by the act so there is another door slamming in poor Helens face .

And as we all know abuse always begins or escalates in pregnancy so it's not going to be a nice few months ahead.

Is the midwife coming to the house that early in the pregnancy really a thing? Dd2 is 6 weeks old and the midwife only came to see us after the birth. She asked me about abuse early on even though she knows us anyway. Bit crass to ask when Rob was close by. At least speak a bit more confidentially.

Does Helen know she's being abused?

Peggy is a horror.

Does Helen know she's being abused?

I wondered that. I doubt it. As indicated by what she said, she thinks abuse is being hit and it is something that happens to other people.

Part of her knows something wrong and the other half is frantically trying to believe her own propganda about lovely creepy, attentive controlling, high status arrogant Rob rapist.