Is that a ferret in your (Gr)undies or are you just pleased to see me? Discuss The Archers vermin (so many possibilities!) here.

[PseudoBadger]

I'm not sure that ferrets cannot through a thumb sized hole - rats can, and mice can fit through a pen sized hole. But I know the SWs will have researched such a statement carefully

Puddock - we are obviously the only listeners with dirty minds

Thanks for explaining the Shula dress scenario, I was expecting something more subtle I suppose ( yeh yeh, I know). Have yet to catch up.

Apologies for casting aspersions at Alan. I'm very relieved he didn't have an affair with Shula after all! It was during the period when I wasn't a regular listener so I had got the wrong end of the stick.

Rob trying to force-feed Henry with mushroom stroganov should give Helen pause for thought but, honestly, Rob could say he has had the patience of Job the number of times she's changed her mind about working. She's either going to give up the new shop and leave her family in the lurch or she's going to carry on and Rob will flip. The latter, I hope.

Has there ever in the whole history of everything been anything more boring than Heatherpet's packing?

Can anyone explain:
why it took Rob an hour to make stroganoff?
why Rob was having a phone conversation with Helen about the difficulties of there being no food in the house whilst she was at the shop - y'know, a place that sells food!

I still can't understand the complete fetish Rob'n'Hellin have about food and meals. They seem totally obsessed. I know H is a recovering anorexic but Knob comes across as preoccupied to the point of madness about getting 'a proper meal' after 'only a sandwich' at lunch. He was virtually hysterical about it on the phone.

On another topic, I heard NewHP tonight for the first time and just burst out laughing. She sounds like a Northumbrian Old Mother Riley sans teeth.

Comedy northerner Heatherpet is yet another reminder of everything that was so unconvincing about the move. The sooner she goes back home and we can forget all about it the better. I am hoping that I will be able to pretend it never happened and get back to enjoying TA again.

R4 - Helen said she'd bring something back from the shop but rob said that would be too late for Henry. Obviously she should have asked him to get the salad ready and prep some mushrooms and then bring eggs and cheese and make omelettes. I expect he'd have found some objection to that too. Bastard.

Surely she must feel the difference between the relaxed atmosphere at the farm versus rob?

Quite liked Tom getting tony into choosing the new bull.

Yeah me and chopper know the allusions don't we?

Roy's having the whole bally lot of them or 'feynsng' Thanks for that errol you live and learn don't you! I can't stand the things they give me the heebies, our local farm worker keeps them; eeuch.

I'm sure they're very nice.

Seems a bit mad to make mushroom stroganoff for a 5 year old anyway, especially when there's the easy option of fish fingers available. So yes, he definitely made it unpleasant deliberately. What I didn't get was why, if there was frozen chicken available, it occurred to neither of them to use the defrost option on a microwave - it seems highly unlikely that they don't have one.

icimoi I know! I was thinking "microwave" too and sniggering at the doc helping Shula with IVF.

Maybe Knob has outlawed a microwave because it's not 'traditional'. I could just imagine him laying down pointless edicts along those lines. He wants Hellin to spend hours slaving over a hot stove cooking everything from scratch for his 'proper meals', rather than freeing up any of her time with labour-saving devices.

Yes Icimoi It is very unlikely for any 3 year old to eat mushroom stroganoff, I noticed Hellin refusing to eat it , was he going to force her too? POS, I hate the force feeding of children I reckon it causes all sorts of problems.

Yes, I reckon Knob's food obsession is all about controlling Helen. It means she can be tied to the home so as to provide two cooked meals for him per day, and he can play on all her insecurities about food and about being the perfect wife and mother. It's a shame the shop is on Moany and Pat's premises, really, if it wasn't there might be a fighting chance of getting Kirsty back to give Helen some back-up when she's resisting his stupidities.

It might bring hell to her senses I wouldn't stand for that.

i did love helen's mumsnet-approved breezy response on the phone of "i'm sure whatever you cook will be delicious, byeee "

I also liked her pre-empting him saying anything about her comfy trackie bottoms - he'd obviously given her one of those looks. I do hope that her newly-discovered backbone doesn't disintegrate after this unpleasantness.

yes her self-esteem is very much tied up with how much she is enjoying being in the shop - the more she's there the more she is able to stand up to him. which makes it all the more imperative from his POV to get her out of there

She also gets positive feedback (usually) frm her parents and brother which obviously all help her self-esteem. I like how the food theme is developing - I wonder if poor Henry will become a little boy with food hang-ups like his mother. Knob certainly knows what buttons to press with Helen.

I liked the conversation between the Bridge Farm people, esp. Tony, and Heather. It's good to hear Tony being cheerful. HP doesn't annoy me that much. Her chat with Ruth served a purpose in giving newcomers to TA the back-story on Richard. Though I was surprised nothing was said about the fling with Shula. I can't imagine many mothers and daughters who wouldn't be up for a bit of a gossip.

What I do need help with is this though. How many rooms do they have at Brookfield? and who is there now? Though Ms Badger has thankfully entered a silent phase, is she still there? And is Bert in residence still? So how could they fit in HP over Easter? I have visions of her topping and tailing with Jill, and them discussing recipes all night.

I spoke too soon over Ms Badger's absence from our airwaves. And disappointed that Shula doesn't sound like her dress from the Widow Pargetter is too tight.

Is that a new dan? What was all the army nonsense?

And what's all the ivf guff. Don't we all know who dans biological father is?

And honestly, we get that they're drifting apart. Any need to over do it? And lots of clunky emphasis on Alastair being 'father'

Mid life crisis for Shula eh. Heavily laden 'can't go back' etc etc.

I think it's weird that Richard Locke hadnt come back. It would have been better if she had found him through Facebook or something!!

Can we please have some subtlety!!!!

No, I think it's the same NewDan. The IVF story, I suppose, indicates that Shula is very grateful to Dr Locke that she ahs Daniel at all. When Mark died she was in the middle of IVF and having daily hormone injections which Mark was doing. Shula was so devastated she did want to give up. It was Richard - who was utterly professional then - who came by and insisted he would do the injections for her each day. The fling didn't of course happen for another 6 years or so. However, unless they spell that out, it won't be obvious - esp. to those who don't know the whole story/weren't listening 20 years ago - why they keep mentioning the IVF and Shula's gratitude. And it kind of explains why she let her head be turned by him, and that's not an unusual RL scenario - except most real doctors are too professional to shag their patients.