Is that a ferret in your (Gr)undies or are you just pleased to see me? Discuss The Archers vermin (so many possibilities!) here.

[PseudoBadger]

I'm not sure that ferrets cannot through a thumb sized hole - rats can, and mice can fit through a pen sized hole. But I know the SWs will have researched such a statement carefully

Interesting interplay at the start of last night's episode. When Knob said he came home just to see Helen but then contradicted that by saying he wasn't sure if she wouldn't have sneaked off to Home Farm, it was so obvious that he was checking up on her. And then it all backfired on him because Helen insisted on going to the doctor's with him and stopped him from manufacturing excuses to put it off. She does seem to be developing more backbone these days, and he must absolutely hate it when he's potentially in a weak position because of Jess and the baby.

She does seem to be developing more backbone these days Yes I was thinking that too.

If you were making a special dinner for someone who'd been out being a vet all day, why on Earth would you put souflees in the oven before they were even home? Wouldn't they want a bath and a drink before dinner?

Thwt was the most annoying bit of the whole programme!

mummytime he had already said he was on call that evening. I suspect his partner was on call when he was away at Sandhurst so it was Al's turn. However what I don't understand is why he didn't text Shula before he set off on the call.

Did anyone else think Dr Locke was rambling a bit when he said something to Shula along the lines of " I just had a patient in here from Ambridge, nobody I knew but then I was on my way home and thought I'd give you a call" or some such slightly random excuse.

I presume Helen didn't know that Rob's appt was with Dr Locke, she must have clocked him at the surgery though because he came out to ask Rob to come in. Not that he'd betray patient confidentiality but she probably thought it a bit uncomfortable that someone who knew her family is involved in the DNA testing matter. He probably didn't recognise Helen as she'd have been quite young when he was first in the village, bu I bet he'd have known her by name.

So now the clever script writers have given us some cooking tips.
If you want a cosy time with your husband Chilli is yes! Souffle is a no!

Ah. Now it's all falling into place. I obviously wasn't paying sufficient attention last night. So it was him wielding the swab?

We need a timeline. I've no recollection of Helen and DocLocke's relative positions in time and space all those years ago. Would he have been around when Helen was with Greg or was that long after he'd gone?

And what's the benefit plot-wise of his being involved with Rob's test? As he said he won't know the result. Unless he's going to be blamed for said result.

Hmmm ...

Well it could involve Doc. breaking his confidentiality rules and discussing the test and knob's personality with Shules.

How is he going to be home to catch the post? Might he get it redirected?

Even if Rob intercepts the letter before Helen steams it open he still runs the risk of Jess turning up to gloat.

I think the reason Locke was put in as Rob's doctor was just to get him on air in a context where he couldn't possibly be confused with Alan or Harrison, for the benefit of listeners who think all northern males sound alike regardless of age or side of pennines (or in this case, whether the accent is even real or not). And also of course we don't much like it when they have total randoms crop up.

But it is also true in a small place you do keep bumping into the same people (my GP is in my book group).

But that does make it more surprising that someone didn't gossip 2 years ago or whenever he came back into the area - "oh guess who I saw at the GP today".

Yes, but the Ambridge Health Fairy means that they hardly ever go to the GP. It's A&E or nothing.

Oh, that reminds me, I was amused when Tony said he'd been declared a medical marvel or miracle. Why aren't we surprised?

On the subject of misdirection, I distinctly remember before Ruth almost ran off with Sam the Cowman there were a lot of signposts pointing to David being the one who was about to have the affair. Some old girlfriend made an appearance and started hanging round giving Ruth the right hump and sending her into the barn with Sam.

So maybe it is Al who's off with someone else? For a vet who's supposedly on his uppers, he does seem to spend a lot of time making (presumably lucrative) out of hours calls.

I was also a bit disappointed that HP didn't get a scene with her fellow comedy Northerner, Jonny. But I suppose there only so many "eehs" and "ayes" one script can take.

re Helen & Dr Locke I happened to be listening to last Tuesday's epi this morning, when Radio Carter was salaciously regaling Helen with Shula's torrid 3-way affair - Helen said quite sharply that she was away at college at the time.

& the doc left right after that & Greg was somewhat later?

(But otoh Helen would still have been at home some of the time, & he was in Ambridge for ages...maybe she was never ill with all that lovely healthy organic stuff so never came across him)

Oh, just seen Errol's post about the Ambridge Health Fairy. Of course that will account for all the anomalies

So, do we think the baby will be Robs or is it just a cunning plot device? I am erring on the side it won't be his and he will get away with his caddish behaviour!

I have no doubt it will be Robs. Otherwise the writing is dreadful.

I do think Jess is a badly written character (I don't think they have a well developed back story for her) which is why her dialogue is so wooden. I also think if his family are supporting Jess, there is a lot we don't know. Even though on MN we spotted the abusive behaviour, I think some people still aren't sure; and we hear very little except Rob's side of the story. When we hear anything with him in Ambridge we see that there are two sides to everything he says.

I'm kind of surprised they didn't have him claiming they had frozen embryos and Jess had used one of them.

Frozen embryos wouldn't fit with his assertion way back that he wanted to start a family but Jess wouldn't.

Of course we may be pretty sure he's an unreliable narrator of his relationship with Jess but that really wouldn't work.

I know, I just really am not sure how he can get out of the positive paternity test result.

Hello,

I've just sought out this thread as I've only been listening a few months and I've been confused. My mum always listened to The Archers omnibus so I've always had a vague idea of who is who. This thread has been v informative so thank you!

Why is Rob such a shit? He is so emotionally abusive and manipulative. I presumed that he is the father but am intrigued as to how he is going to keep it a secret.

Also re the 'northern' voices. It now becomes clear why you get programmes with an actor from Yorkshire with a Lancastrian sibling set in Manchester and no one bats an eyelid!

If you believe Rob (welcome Honsandrevels btw [grin) His family are dysfunctional; totally ignoring him in favour of his brother. It could be a reason, for his bullying insecurities, if they are abusive and manipulative too !

I think the baby is Robs and I just can't wait to hear him justify it to Helen. 'sorry darling, i was trying to reason with her when she sort of fell on me and I accidentally impregnated her'.

Or perhaps he'll claim it was artificial insemination and she tricked him out of his sperm when he was asleep.

Do you really need a doctor to take a swab for the DNA test ? Can't it be done by a practice nurse ?

I think he will just lie to Helen about the results and try to hide the continuing deduction of the maintenance payment from his salary.