So... tell me I'm doing the right thing leaving London, as I'm having a major wobble!

[sushistar]

Our house has just gone on the market. DH has got a job in the South West, near my mum and dad, lovly country town. We'll have a lot less money stress tere, better schools, near family to help with kids. But I've lived in london for over 10 yrs,. and the house going on the market has just made me feel all worried - are we doing the right thing???

Well done to DH for getting a job in such difficult times.....the chance to give your children a country unbringing shouldnt be missed.......

Do you think it will be worth it? I've never lived in a town - only London or a tiny rural village - so it's really unknown. I'm so scared I'm doing the wrong thing and will regret it...

So are all your reasons for the move practical?

Yep definately....yesterday we went to the beach at a whim and I realised that we were so lucky to live here.

The fact that there is a slower pace of life overall I love to- London leaves me wanting to come home as its so busy!

In a town you get the best of both.

Whereabouts in SW are you looking at?

Orm, most of the reasons are practical. We're not unhappy here, but we are struggling with our mammoth mortgage, lack of space, lack of good schools (primamry would be ok but secondary will be a real problem)...

Probably the most 'unpractical' heartfelt reasons for moving are being ner my mum, and having a bigger garden - I love my teeny patch here and would love to have more garden.

Ona, we're going to Taunton...

As a native Londoner who left several years ago, I'd say you're doing the right thing (and I live in a boring city, not a nice country area, haha). Be prepared for it to take a while to adjust - I still miss London sometimes, although not enough to move back - but once you get to your new place you'll remember why you're doing this

I love visiting London now and enjoy being there a lot more than I did for the last few years of my residency. I get to enjoy all the good stuff about it, and then leave

Not far from me then!

I only ask because it is so easy to convince yourself something is what you want because it makes sense in a practical way. What does the rest of your family think? I love this area and like Taunton but I know that a lot of people struggle when they come here from a city.

Being near you mum and having a garden are good reasons though. Schools are good I beleive (my godson just got 11A*s at GCSE!). You are just a short distance from lovely countryside. Not far from the M5 to get back to London if you need to! Bristol and Exeter not far.

cyteen, I hope you're right! I have realised for a while that although I live in zone 2, I never access most of the things that make london fun - with 2 little ones it's just too difficult to get into town, or even use the tube. So i just stay within a mile or 2 of where I live, the park, the supermarket etc, local playgroups - so what's the point of being here?!

Ha, riven, what's your house like, and what's it worth???

I don't want your belly button though, thank you :0)

I moved out 4 years ago, and do sometimes regret it tbh.

one thing I wish we had done is rented our london house out and rented where we moved to. One major thing stopping us moving back is the price of property in London as we can't afford to go back to the area we left.

so my advice would be to hold onto your London house. And then give it a few years - I took at least 2 years to feel at home here, and it is only now that I think I have ffriends and am happy.

sushi, we are doing the very same thing and in fact we are moving next Friday!!! And dh will commute to London AND we are moving to an area where we know no-one! Have had a few similar wobbles along the way. But it feels like the right decision, we have thought it through long and hard and will have a much lower mortgage, good schools, half an hour to the coast and a lovely town with great facilities. I'm from N Ireland originally but have lived in London for 22 years - and dh is London born and bred. So, yes, it is a big wrench. Am going to give myself min 2 years to settle in, it will surely take time. Good luck to you, I'm sure it will all be fantastic!

Agree with pollyanna Don't burn your bridges because if you loved London and are just a bit jaded or looking for a change/cheaper lifestyle you may regret it and want to go back.I left years ago and still harp on and definitely plan to move back once i am child free.I love where I am now but its not the same

I have just moved from South East London to Sussex. Its early days but I think its been a fantastic move for us. I had wobbles while we were moving but actually I feel very settled and happy.

Our reasons for moving were to reduce mortgage and generally improve our quality of life.

We are in a large village, but we are close to a big market town for shopping and only 15 minutes from the beach. Am quite jealous of my DCs growing up here!

just do it, you'll be fine AND you can always move back if it doesnt work out.

Can't move back very easily - s a few other posters have said, once you're off the london ladder it's very VERY hard to gt back. We couldn't afford to buy the house we live in NOW iyswim - we bought it pre-kids, when I worked full time, so couldn't get a mortgage this big now.

We have thought about renting our place out, but to be honest I don't think we've got the spare capacity in our lives (or in our finances!) to be landlords. No, it's a once-for-all decision...

I've done it. I miss London terribly but my children are much happier, better schools, big garden (compared to 'courtyard' stamp), family nearby.

I do go back to London regularly and when I do I remember why I left. Sometimes I feel that we 'gave up' when we moved back here because everything is so much less stressful, that maybe we should be trying harder by staying in London but then I remind myself I'm being ridiculous.

How old are your children? DS1 was 3 when we moved out and DS2 was tiny. It's only when I return now that I realise how hard London would have been as he got older and how much better it is now.

Once you leave, you realise London isn't the be all and end all.

Do it do it.

I must also say that Mumsnet has been my lifesaver since we moved (I'm a regular poster but have namechanged at the mo).

I've found it quite difficult to meet kindred spirits here. I have lots of friends (Well DSs friends mothers) but it's hard to meet people who have the same interest, sense of humour, life experience as me.

I'm hoping that will get better in time though. In the meantime, I rely on Mumsnet for stimulating conversation

DS1 is 2 1/2, ds 2 6 months. I know what you mean about 'giving up' - it's such a cliche, having kids and leaving the city - and to be honest, it's not the crime or the pollution or anything driving us out - mostly it comes down to money - or a lack of it. But sometimes I even feel a sense of guilt that it's because people like us - I mean community minded, law abiding people - leave the city that London has some of the problems it has. Maybe we should stay because we can do some good here in a small way.

I really relate to that worry fatlip, about meeting people I can relate to? What if everyone there is really right wing or traditional or something? if anyone from Somerset reads this, I'm so sorry and I'm sure it's not true, it's just my paranoid neurosis about leaving making me illogical!!

We have recently moved from N. London to Berkshire. Not a massive distance but far enough when we know no-one here!

So far it has been fantastic. Being here offers a very different lifestyle, and probably not one I would have wanted pre-DC. However, like you we had long since stopped enjoying the benefits of living in the capital so it seemed ridiculous to be sacrificing our quality of life and paying through the nose to stay in a tiny cottage in a desirable part of town.

The things I love about our new place so far is:

Our garden and the space of having a larger house. DS1 was visibly happier from the moment we moved in with all the space we now had.

The sense of community here is much stronger than where we came from. I have already made friends whereas in 2 years with DS1 I had met no one that I could call a friend back in london (I must add that I am a shy person so this doesn't come easily to me!)

Looking forward to our future here is a lovely feeling, knowing (or pretty much knowing - I suppose you dont ever know how things will change) that the boys will have access to a choice of good schools.

Having my Mum close by would be the icing on the cake for me as that is the one thing that I miss having - family close by. It will be lovely for your children to grow up near your Mum.

Good luck.

We moved from London (after being there for 16 years and both having good jobs) to Berkshire and DH moved within his company and I took a more back seat role. We went and rented in the middle of nowhere for a while and realised that was not for me. We then made a compromise and live in a suburb of a a reasonable sized town - it's not the most culturally forward but it ticks lots of boxes. I work 10 minutes away from home. My family are all close by. I have two kids who have part time working mummy so go to a nursery close to work. I have made an effort to do stuff and as DS has got older I've made more and more friends - I went to a kids birthday party today and finally realised that it doesn't really matter where you are it's the friends you make that are the most important.. Yes, London is fab, but with kids, no thanks. I love going to visit but I love coming back....

I say do it !

What fatlip said
DO IT!