A bidet - yes or no?

[Quattrocento]

Redoing main bathroom and changing things around. Am wondering about a bidet. I would rather like to have one - dd thinks the idea is rather revolting and the boys are keeping well out of the debate (whistling and trying to pretend they did not hear the word bidet).

So then, a bidet, yes or no? Would it put you off the bathroom if you were a hypothetical purchaser?

oh yes, marmy. That sounds very scientifically plausible.

viscous circle - lol

I used pil when I had a dose of the runs and it was great for cleaning a very tender/raw bum - didn't have to use loo paper (tmi . I did clean it thoroughly afterwards.

Quatt - I am seriously considering one after this thread. I have space.

No, of course I wouldn't wedge a showerhead in a public loo beneath my bumcheeck, I'm a hoverer in most public loos.

I was just explaining what I presumed one did with the shower attached to the side by the cistern.

Although am considering unscrewing my own showerhead (shower too far from loo to leave attached) to see if my theory would work.

I love bidets. I would love to have one if we had the room. I don't get why they are embarassing tbh.

I have a shower every day in the morning and quite often another in the day and then sometimes a bath before bed too. I like being properly clean.

what is pil?

...have I insulted someone???

Look. I'm gonna be frank here.

I have found one useful on holiday when very pissed and on a promise of oral sex but too in a rush tired to have a shower.

But I wouldn't put one in my house. Bit Hyacinth Bucket.

pil = parents in law

ah yes, see now fim

I'm not sure this showering thing is a goer frankly. Thinking about my visits to four bathroom showrooms over the past two days, I'm pretty sure that none of the bidets (or loos for that matter) had any shower attachments. I've checked online as well.

I'd be freakishly embarassed explaining to the plumber that we needed a shower plumbing in next to the loo. At loo sort of height. Also I am thinking about the difficulty of getting this shower to work. You point the head down the loo, and switch it on and faddle around with it until it's the right sort of temperature. Then you have to sit back down on the loo quite quickly (do loos have an overflow to prevent them overflowing?). In the process of doing this you are bound to shower the loo, no? Because your trousers will be around your ankles or your skirt will be held up with one hand. It just sounds a bit tricky. And if you have showered successfully (query do you use soap? those special soaps for ladygardens?) how do you stand up again without dripping everywhere?

And that's before we've even got on to this insoluble drying problem ...

am now about to pee myself laughing and wishing I had a bidet to clear up the mess

thank you all for cheering me up after a really dreadful evening

this should go into classics, pronto

quatt, just use toilet paper. Really. That's teh british way

only read op
no, why??? bidets are so french

we lived in a house with a bidet and oddly i liked it

yes fab post natally - also fab on toddler bums and just an all round nice clean bum...

tmi but i prefer a REALLY clean bum like the french not just NEARLY clean like the brits!

4cento we did install one of these showers in the upstairs toilet for lack of space for second bidet but tbh we wish we didn't. not that easy to use and not cheap. if you've got space get the bidet, otherwise better the british way IMO.

well we used old newspaper during the blitz

Pippi, of course you haven't insulted anyone - it's lovely to see you on here.

I've gone off at a tangent onto ladygarden soaps now. You know, those liquid soaps that are next to the tampons and are labelled for "intimate weashing". Do you have to start buying this sort of stuff when you have a bidet?

Also I take the point about using loo roll to dry but assuming you are going for the bidet option, that doesn't sound very practical. So erm, special bidet towels? Is that how it works?

I nick the kids bum wipes (hideous bad kandoos) if I feel the need.

you could get them embroidered Quatt.

SBT shoudl do the trick

LOL at bidet 'rules' 4cento . But yes you do have small towels for the bidet. Sometimes you have a small towel rack next to it where you keep one or two (obviously they are changed immediately - a yuky bidet towel is a no no! - although they should not be yuky as used on clean bum). Also have those soaps which should (prob just a commercial cr*p) have a more balanced PH so that do not irritate - sorry for TMI. Don't think you have to have the soap but towel handy as not a good think to wipe your fifi with face towel .

no quattro no need for intimate soaps! i use pears

basically your bum should be as clean as after a bath with bidet so loo rollis an option but bathtowel otherwise

Wouldn't loo roll stick though, if your bum was wet?

no not ime

use the quilted stuff - hold together better!

plus men and teenage boys have horrid hairy bums in need of a hot splash

This bidet might be quite expensive really, what with having to have a stock of small fifi towels embroidered to keep them clearly separate ...

It's obviously a cultural thing. We put a bidet into our flat in London and all the foreigners who saw it sighed wistfully.

The brits no doubt pointedly ignored it .

Bidets are great. The only disadvantage is that it is the only tap that water obsessed ds can reach without climbing on anything.