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Original poster

A bidet - yes or no?

162 replies

Quattrocento · 02/01/2009 16:07

Redoing main bathroom and changing things around. Am wondering about a bidet. I would rather like to have one - dd thinks the idea is rather revolting and the boys are keeping well out of the debate (whistling and trying to pretend they did not hear the word bidet).

So then, a bidet, yes or no? Would it put you off the bathroom if you were a hypothetical purchaser?

OP posts:
Original poster
Quattrocento · 02/01/2009 17:21

Gosh now I am suffering from shower-envy. That does sound nice Swedes.

OP posts:
francagoestohollywood · 02/01/2009 17:26

Sorry, but the best shower won't get your ass as clean as a bidet would.
It takes 1 minute to clean a bidet, btw

traceybath · 02/01/2009 17:27

no - like swedes first thing i had done in old house was bidet removed

poinsettydog · 02/01/2009 17:28

no no no

no bidet. Ugly useless things. Waste of space.

sellorrenovate · 02/01/2009 17:29

We had one in a bathroom with no loo, used it to store DS bath toys.

jooseyfruit · 02/01/2009 17:30

my mum used to say
"Bidets, the English use them to wash the baby in, the french use them to wash the baby out"
WTF!!! eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

NomDePlume · 02/01/2009 17:30

OMG @ joosey's mother

&

NomDePlume · 02/01/2009 17:31

They are too bloody low to the ground for arse washing purposes, surely ?

NomDePlume · 02/01/2009 17:31

They are too bloody low to the ground for arse washing purposes, surely ?

Original poster
Quattrocento · 02/01/2009 17:32

You clearly haven't been following this thread carefully NDP.

Apparently you "ride" the bidet as you would a horse - ie sit down in the saddle, facing its ears (the taps).

OP posts:
poinsettydog · 02/01/2009 17:57

yes, you would have to sit otherwise you would get terrible cramp in your thighs as you tried to hit target.

MrsSeanBean · 02/01/2009 17:58

?

Original poster
Quattrocento · 02/01/2009 18:00

I suppose not sitting might be a way of strengthening your thigh muscles?

Would end up very splashy though and too much cleaning post-bideting

(Did you see Franca use bidet as a verb? I have deduced that this what expert bideters do and am following suit)

OP posts:
poinsettydog · 02/01/2009 18:03

It could provide some good thigh exercise in teh run-up to the ski-ing season. Or a family alternative to wii fit.

MrsSeanBean · 02/01/2009 18:07

i always squat hover above public loos anyway, provides excellent thigh strengthening.

Pannacotta · 02/01/2009 18:11

Like the sound of your shower Swedes, sounds much less OBVIOUS than having a bidet in your bathroom, which screams of arse cleaning to me (sorry)...

Sputnik · 02/01/2009 18:19

But what is wrong with cleaning your arse? Everybody has one you know
I have a shower like that and a bidet btw, so nah

Original poster
Quattrocento · 02/01/2009 18:27

Well here in Britain, we prefer not to think that people have (gulps, takes a deep breath) arses. Or if some people have arses, we ourselves definitely don't. Or not much, anyway. And if we are unlucky enough to possess arses, they are usually self-cleaning ... That's how it is in Britain.

OP posts:
Sputnik · 02/01/2009 18:45

I feel your post should have Land of Hope and Glory as a soundtrack, Quattro :

I'm always amused that my (British) parents have a bidet in their bathroom, but the toilet is actually elsewhere. I think my mum uses it for washing her feet.

poinsettydog · 02/01/2009 22:04

I don't mind the idea of having an arse at all. In fact, I quite like it. However, I wipe my bum to a very satisfactory standard and I shower once every two days (which is effectively after every second poo - see how open I am about discussing my arsley habits?).

So to me, a bidet reeks of arse-cleaning obsession.

IotasCat · 02/01/2009 22:44

LOL doggie. I was wondering what exactly people were doing that necessitated a full-on wash after every bowel movement. A thorough wipe seems to do the job for me and my cat doesnt even seem to need to wipe

Original poster
Quattrocento · 02/01/2009 22:48

So you think a bidet is a bit erm, anal, then pointy? Apparently they are v useful for freshening up generally down there, as well as all the countless other uses (see list below to which I must add soaking clothes and acting as a plant pot holder).

I've just read something very disturbing on another thread about something called free floating faecal matter and I am worried that this bidet might exacerbate a problem I didn't previously know I had ...

OP posts:
pointydog · 03/01/2009 11:17

that's the word, quatt - anal.

I have never found the need to 'freshen up down there' in between my regular showers. I'm not sure what people are up to, to require such regular frehsening.

Is it possible that french and italian folk were less likely to take regular showers and so teh bidet was an ideal interim solution? Or did they indulge in a lot of hanky panky which necessitated frehsneing up?

MarmadukeScarlet · 03/01/2009 11:29

WE ditched the one here when we moved in, although it was good for rinsing the washables...

Quattro, have just returned from Lapland where, by every public loo, there is a shower head and taps - so you can rinse yourself after use.

This would be a great and discreet way of having the benefits of a bidet without floorspace and embarrassment issues?

pointydog · 03/01/2009 11:31

didn't the water freeze into icicles on your arse?