Revenge ideas now we've given in to our money grabbing gazundering buyers

[MamaChris]

Now we've given in to the gazundering **s that are buying our flat, we are thinking of ideas for exacting petty revenge. Already suggested:

• ginsters pie to removal man = ginsters jobbie in toilet (no flush!)
• kippers behind bath panel
• remove any fixtures we aren't legally required to leave

we're also thinking of encouraging dog/baby to be sick between floorboards the day of the move

anyone for any more?

Our buyers didn't get any money off us, but pissed me (in particular) off no end and caused loads of stress. I got up at 5:30-6 am and stripped curtain poles, brackets, bathroom cabinet, loo roll holder, towel rail, mirrors, shelves, light fittings - everything. Also didn't clean. (I'd stated that nothing would be left on the FF&E schedule apart from carpets.) The flat looked a bit unloved when we left, but with some work they'd have fixed it. I also took the phonebook, takeaway leaflets, information on utilities etc with us. Meant it would have taken them a while to get sorted rather than it all having been an easy process and possible for them to live in for a while without doing much.

They stalled the process by two weeks to try and get some more money out of us btw.

Paint the rooms a lovely vivid shade of pea green.

Plant some crocus bulbs in the front garden so it spells 'TWATS' come next Spring

ROFL extrafancy - bloody genius|!

Our buyers got messed around once and she confided that she left the central heating/hot water switch turned off. It was very awkward, hadn't been fitted properly initially, so that when they had moved in they had to call out a heating engineer to sort it out. She was hoping the same for her buyer who had been a tosser.

Personally I wouldn't do anything obvious but might go with something like turning off awkward switches. Make sure the broken lightbulbs aren't replaced, that sort of thing.

Other than that you should rise above it and let karma do it's job.

DEFINITELY DONT CLEAN. i dont understand why people do this anyway (DH does insist on doing it) as i alwasy clean new place so is done to my standards so cant understand old people bothering to clean it first!

actually that really pissed me off when we moved in. I had cleaned my own house to within an inch of its life. But new house had earth all over the floor from pot plants, old chip fat film over all kitchen surfaces and cupboards still full of syru/flour/broken pasta, a filthy toilet and cat hair matted on all carpets. That was 10 years ago and I still want to spit at the vendors when I see them round town...

And no, we didn't gazunder them or pressure them or anything. They were just filthy, selfish bastards. They also removed everything possible. Even gravel from the garden!

go to the petshop and buy about 10 pairs of mice. On the day of moving release them in the attick with enough food to keep them up there for a few days.

within a month they'll have a serious mouse problem.

Get some shrimp paste from the chinese/thai supermarket and smear it to the underside of floorboards and other hard to see or reach places.

Message withdrawn

The day you leave, ring the Mormons, the Scientologists and the Jehovah's Witnesses and say you're having a crisis of faith and you'd like someone to come and discuss conversion with you.

Message withdrawn

Yes, writing is better.

Then in about four weeks you can write another letter and say than even though you may not have seemed very responsive you found their visit very helpful and would like to discuss things further. Signed Twat Buyer.

You could go on like that for years.

when we had difficult buyers we didn't actually do any of these things but we did remove some of the things that weren't mentioned in the contract and I did remove a low energy light bulb (in the days when they were expensive) to replace with a standard bulb. Karma cut in when I promptly broke it . I actually regret that now because it was descending to their level. What I don't regret is discussing with neighbours the house sale so they knew what sort of people were moving in.

We did clean the house - it's a matter of self-respect - but it wasn't to the same standard it would have been if they had been civilised about the purchase.

I wish I'd thought of some of these things, though. Wouldn't have done them but would have enjoyed thinking about it!

tbh, not sure any amount of shrimp paste / mice / crocus planting is really going to compensate you for the money you've lost out on... I reluctantly agree with the other posters who say let karma deal with it and have the satisfaction of being the better person.

But DON'T clean up before you leave, obviously.

I like the crisis of faith idea! Would they really follow up on a letter?

Dilemma, all this is, of course, just fantasy. I'm far too meek and mild to actually risk messing with karma. But fantasy has been very useful at 3am in the morning as I've lain awake worrying about all this

I would spray bleach and water up the external doors, not to damage, but it smells like cat piss to other tomcats and they will repeatedly return to mark the territory. That is a verrrry persistent problem that is very hard to do anything about.
The added bonus could well be that if they have a tomcat themselves that cat will also start to spray too
Plus no-one will ever know anything other than you cleaned the doors.

Hello all.
Sorry, I'm not a Mum, never got the chance plus I'm one of those selfish cows who valued income over popping a sprog or two into action, best left for those much more devoted to offspring than me. However, I do have adorable niece and nephew who I couldn't love any more than if I had gruffed them into life myself. I often come across stuff on Mumsnet, and have read with much sorrow, intrigue, curiosity, and sometimes gales of laughter. That's kinda where I am right now. Yesterday fell victim to gazundering on my late Mum's home. My niece is currently living at mum's, the third generation of our family to occupy the land/home. So I'm pretty pissed off that the developers I'd hoped to sell to are attempting to drop the already agreed sale price, because they don't want to pay their dues via commuted sum to local authority. Slimy fuckers!! I have spent the whole day swinging wildly between fits of rage and tears. My poor partner doesn't know what to do or say, only that everything he does do or say, is wrong. Not his fault. I hate that this is happening, but I refuse to be a victim. Having trawled the internet, I'm tempted to follow my heart and tell them to get stuffed! But I'm executor for the estate, so I'm stuck between a brick and a hard place since I have to do the best deal for all beneficiaries. Mum died after a short battle with cancer in October 2016. She was strong willed, feisty and determined. She'd be turning in her grave if I gave in to being bullied or browbeaten by developers. I was just looking at gazundering info, to gather more intel to do battle with, when I came across your thread about gazundering revenge. My eyes are like pissholes in the snow, so sore from crying all day, but now from laughing, thanks to all the glorious, and I gave to say, likeminded souls out there who think the same as I do. Prawns in the curtain poles had me wetting myself, and I feel I may have to borrow a dog or a baby, maybe even both, to see if I can persuade them to throw up into floorboard cracks!! Lol. Also, the technical thrill of piercing window seals held appeal, though sadly wouldn't work on our old crittal aluminium windows, still bloody funny. Dead nice a bit gross, but also had some merit. He'll hath no fury eh. Thanks for turning my day around. Going to have a nice hot bath now, and plot revenge!! :-)

@Hotbuns12 I'm glad it's given you some light relief on an awful day. If you think I private buyer would match the developers gazundered offer I would do that - rather someone would choose it, love it, live in it rather than developers flipping it!