My husband and I are 44 and 42, and because of his career we’ve never really had the opportunity to settle into a proper “forever” home. We’ve moved around and, for a long time, have talked about eventually finding somewhere that feels like the one.
Recently, we found what we thought was our dream house. It was £925k, in the perfect location, with the road and garden we really wanted. The downside was that it needed a huge amount of work — around £450k, and potentially more once we got into it.
We ended up missing out on the house. I was genuinely upset initially, because it felt like we had lost our chance at the home we’d always imagined. But, with a bit of distance, we actually felt quite relieved. The numbers were pretty scary.
We have now found another house and have had an offer accepted. It’s £200k less than the first house, but it will still need around £450k of work, if not more. So it’s not exactly the “cheap and easy” option!
The compromise is mainly the location/road and the size of the garden. The house itself doesn’t bother me too much because we will essentially be replacing everything inside anyway, so we can make it exactly how we want it.
We also have a child in private school, which costs us around £25k a year. In some ways, I think of that as already being the equivalent of another mortgage payment, and it’s a significant ongoing commitment.
On paper, the second house makes much more sense. We’re spending £200k less on the purchase price and hopefully putting ourselves in a much more comfortable financial position. We’re also at an age where I’m conscious that we shouldn’t overstretch ourselves just to have the “perfect” house.
But I keep wondering whether we are being too practical. Are we going to spend the next 10–20 years looking at the garden and thinking, “I wish we’d bought the other one”? Will we regret compromising on the road and outdoor space when this is potentially the house we stay in for the rest of our lives?