Am I being mad to consider this house?

[rapunzelsreptile]

We’ve been to see a wonderful house. Truly amazing, an old house but immaculate with some gorgeous original features. It’s a dream home. We took our Dc to see it too and they loved it.

Here’s the issue. It’s not even the house or anything about the house. It’s the area. I don’t drive but dh does and can wfh from anywhere with relative flexibility. It’s in the middle of nowhere (almost). There’s not a shop, doctors surgery, post office. Nothing. It’s a 10 minute drive to the nearest town which has a co op, secondary school, car garage, nearest park etc. Still a village but has a few things. The nearest place with big supermarkets is an hour away. There is a primary school thankfully but no nursery. So I have made it clear to dh that I will be learning to drive asap when we move there which he is on board with but the local instructor is currently full so it could be a bit of a wait until I actually pass (probably looking at a year from now). Is it too ridiculous to consider or is it okay as I have a plan? Dh really wants to do it but this is my only reservation.

How old are your dc? Will you be needing to get them to school/ nursary as soon as you move? Is dh on board with that? Are the roads safe enough for cycling?

@Zanatdy we accepted an offer last July.

House sale is still not complete…

Wouldn’t be my choice.

Even if you commit to being Mum Taxi (constantly doing 2x 20 min round trips for each and every activity and play date, collecting them at 11pm in the teen years - no Friday or Saturday evening glass of wine for you…) it takes away their independence.

Is it you or DH who WFH? Long days alone in an isolated location?

Everyone needing to be so car dependant.

I would live rurally if I needed to for work (if I was a farmer) but not otherwise.

All my family live in rural locations with scant public transport, it’s fine when they are little but cuts teens off from so many opportunities. Can’t go to cinema with friends, bowling, cultural events, meet friends spontaneously / at short notice etc etc.

A beautiful original fireplace has its place but Teens cannot live by interior decor alone!

It's a no from me. Too isolating.

You need to learn to drive first, then consider a move like this. I know someone who has been meaning to learn to drive for 14 years, somehow never gets around to it.

How old are your children @rapunzelsreptile?I think they’re the biggest priority here because if it’s in the middle of nowhere with no park or anything then it’s going to become more and more boring and isolating for them as they get older.

Book a crash course with a test at the end now
I did this to pass my motorbike test.

I agree. It also depends on whether you actually like the country - and gardens, walking - even horses, sheep, hens and can find stuff to do in your vicinity. If you're more of a coffee shop/ art gallery type of person then it's a hard no from me..

Often in isolated places you can't even walk from your house as there are no pavements and cars whizzing round bends in the narrow roads.

Where my friend used to live, only ten minutes' walk from a village, there was a short stretch of maybe a hundred metres where you had to walk on the road and it was frightening.

Also no street lighting in many cases. We lived quite rurally for a while and I loved it, but there was no public transport, no street lighting and no shops within walking distance. My kids went to school on the school bus.

It took me months to find a driving instructor as they are totally booked up with a waiting list. Also bear in mind your availability may not match theirs as i could only do Sat and Sun mornings which is limiting.

There was then a backlog to book in the theory test. I was lucky to pass this the first time, but less than half do pass first time.

As soon as I passed i booked in my practical test which was a 6 month wait. And again, i passed first time but if you don't then it is a another 6 month wait in most areas. Again, less than half pass first time. Unless you pay for a cancellation app and get lucky on a time that works for you and your instructor. I tried to bring my slot forward with the cancellation app however you have to click on the notification immediately to get the slot!

I live about twenty minutes drive from nearest shop. You just change how you live--takes a bit of time to adapt but absolutely fine. I have an online delivery pass and order all our food in. I always have pasta/uht milk and too many toilet rolls so i can get through a day or two. I just do an online order and bulk up with essentials that are expensive to get over £40 (wahing powder/coffee etc.) if I need something. It normally gets delivered the next day. I love it and what it lacks in shops it makes up for in peace.

Just to add I'm in a village rather than isolated. We have a pub a park and a primary school. The kids therefore know every other kid in the village as they have all been to school together. The secondary bus picks up and drops off and then they all go the park together. They aren't lonely or isolatedbut equally can't get away with much because someone will see you and tell your mum!

An hour drive to a supermarket, hell no. Yes I know you can get things delivered but being so far from anything is very isolating. Being a teenager in a village or anywhere remote is horrible. I know, I was that teen. Being able to drive will help but the fact that you have to drive everywhere to do anything is awful. It will start to grate on you. If you hadn't got children, it wouldn't matter so much, so, think of them first and foremost.

I agree with this.

Nope no way. Unless there was a very good bus service.
@Mumblechum0a ten minute drive is more like a five mile distance walking if going 30mph!

I live in the country. Our nearest village is 10 mins drive through twisty lanes, or a 20 min walk across the fields. I guess I’m just used to getting in the car for everything and don’t see it as a biggie

I do agree with this.

I live about twenty minutes drive from nearest shop.

Surely very few people live right next door to a supermarket anyway?

I am a 4 mile drive from supermarket (takes about 15 minutes as it's rural roads) and consider that pretty normal. All major supermarkets deliver where we are.

The consideration with kids is you do end up taxiing them everywhere, but many parents who live in towns do that anyway- buses are few and far between.

It's a trade off between village life and being in a town.

If anything this thread shows how all women need to learn to drive when they reach 17! It's a life skill .

Both my kids had passed their driving tests by the age of 19, same as me and DH. We bought them a 'banger' to get around in.

I understand the back log there is now because of Covid etc but that's a recent thing.

I agree. You do have to think a bit further ahead.

by 11 my kids were out playing with their mates most days after school, they will be terribly isolated

It's a trade off between village life and being in a town.

But the village is ten minutes drive away. Where the house is there are no facilities at all, so it wouldn't really even be village life.

I love staying in places like that, or more isolated, on holiday. To live, no, because I would hate to have to drive absolutely everywhere, especially with children.

As a pp said, it's probably affordable only because of its isolated situation.

I grew up similar on a farm. I hated it, but my 2 siblings absolutely loved it. If you like it, its the best way to live and feels much more natural.

So it really depends on what you like/value, and if all the family is on board or not (sounds like they are).

What are you going to do until
yoi pass your test? It doesn’t sound very practical for right now. Your DH will soon tire of driving you. I wouldn’t agree to that for anyone if it was avoidable.

I do understand the draw of the perfect house though. I was I a similar situation (nothing to do with driving) but now my kids are older I’m forever glad we were sensible and aborted the move. And that was walking distance to a pub, a couple of shops and a station.

I would never do it, but I'm used to being able to walk to a shop in minutes and wouldn't be able to cope with that level of isolation. It depends on how you think you would cope with the location but in years to come it could mean always out driving somewhere, probably multiple places in one afternoon if you have kids.
Location is the most important thing to me - there are nice houses everywhere.