Am I being mad to consider this house?

[rapunzelsreptile]

We’ve been to see a wonderful house. Truly amazing, an old house but immaculate with some gorgeous original features. It’s a dream home. We took our Dc to see it too and they loved it.

Here’s the issue. It’s not even the house or anything about the house. It’s the area. I don’t drive but dh does and can wfh from anywhere with relative flexibility. It’s in the middle of nowhere (almost). There’s not a shop, doctors surgery, post office. Nothing. It’s a 10 minute drive to the nearest town which has a co op, secondary school, car garage, nearest park etc. Still a village but has a few things. The nearest place with big supermarkets is an hour away. There is a primary school thankfully but no nursery. So I have made it clear to dh that I will be learning to drive asap when we move there which he is on board with but the local instructor is currently full so it could be a bit of a wait until I actually pass (probably looking at a year from now). Is it too ridiculous to consider or is it okay as I have a plan? Dh really wants to do it but this is my only reservation.

Yes this! You will spend your life ferrying the kids around for play dates and later on parties at God knows what time. You would be mad to consider it before you can drive, you might not be able to,not everyone can.

I would strongly advise you not to.
Unless you want isolation for you and your dcs.
Crazy idea imho.

Grew up in a similar area. It's a no from me. You'll be in the car constantly. It's not just grocery shopping you have to consider but access to other stuff: gp, chemist, dentist etc. Your children will get older and will want to do afterschool stuff, hobbies, visit friends etc. Consider driving in the winter all the time too. It can be pretty wearing. Plus driving is getting more expensive.
Granted parenting is different now, but I didn't find any freedom in growing up in a rural isolated place. Everything had to be arranged and was dependent on lifts. I was so envious of children who lived in town and could visit friends, get the bus into the city on a whim etc. To me being able to arrange a teenage social life like that was freedom. It was an isolating adolescence.
I would think carefully.

Have you ever driven before, or would you be starting lessons as a complete beginner? My friend bought a property in a similar situation to you, though a slightly smaller distance to amenities.

She had never driven before and she didn’t pick it up quickly at all- it took months before she was remotely test ready, and then there was a 20 week wait for tests in her area. She eventually passed 4th time, by which point they’d been in the property for well over a year. She got by with taxis when her husband couldn’t drive her but it was bloody expensive and very stressful in terms of the pressure for her to pass her test.

I think you should definitely get on with lessons immediately if you want to proceed with this property, and check how long the wait is for tests in your area. Do be aware that it can also be hard to find a decent instructor without a waiting list.

Otherwise, the only other thing I’d say is that I lived in a similar property as a child. Absolutely loved it when I was under 10, but HATED it as a pre-teen and teenager and really resented being dependent on my parents to get anywhere.

Agreed. It's clearly not just about the take away deliveries. It's very likely supermarkets will also not deliver and with no shops in a walkable distance that leaves you in a difficult situation.

As I said on paper these remote houses in the middle of nowhere often sound idyllic. The reality however is unlikely to match up to any ideas you may have had.

I wouldn’t.

I won’t repeat what others have said, all valid points, I think you need to think about the bigger picture. You are not just buying a new house, you are buying a new lifestyle. If this house was pulled off the market today, would you still consider moving to that specific area? It gets very tempting to ignore this question when you find a property you love but you really need to consider more than just that. Personally, I wouldn’t move kids to such an isolated location, particularly when you are not an experienced driver - frost, mud, rain, dark at 4pm and you are on a rural road ALL the time. It’s a no from me.

Absolutely I wouldn’t
no perfect house is worth all the hassle of trying to get your kids places over big distances and limited transport.
our house isn’t perfect - 70s, ugly. Semi rural. but is in walking distance of a small town, both primary and secondary schools, 5-10 minute walk/ drive to the kids dance/music ensembles/football/doctor/dentist etc, 15 minutes drive to work. On a bus route into a city where the buses run every 30 mins and the kids can get there by themselves now they are teens. A choice of secondary schools as there are plenty within 30 mins of our home.

we would not consider moving until our youngest has finished school/passed their test.

theres a reason they say location location location

Please don’t for your children’s sake. I grew up like this and missed out on so much socialising with peers. I couldn’t gain my independence as a teenager so left home asap and have never been back

However beautiful the house, that is my idea of he'll. Have to get in the car to go anywhere. You become a slave to your children's taxi-service needs. They don't learn independence.

We are in a village but it has bus and train services, shops, pubs, village hall and church. It meant DC could gain independence in their early teens, and I could walk into the village if we ran out of milk or bread. It's half an hour's walk to a big supermarket and just over an hour's walk through woods and along the river to the nearest big town with music venues and theatre.

I'd never consider anywhere more isolated than we already are. I wish we had a local gym.

If you decide against it, could you send me the link? I’m looking for somewhere isolated! 😁

I live in a country village, the train station is an 6mins walk, and trains are 5 and 15mins to large towns, and 1hr to central London. Teens consider it to be Siberia.

With deliveries shopping isn't such a problem these days, we lived in a fairly remote place years ago 5 minutes walk to the bus stop and had to buy everything in the local small town about 10 miles away and carry everything home, no one drove at the time. It was difficult then, but would be pretty easy now.

Are the roads safe for bikes or electric bikes? I wouldn't risk a bike where we are now, the lanes are really dangerous with fast cars speeding through.

Supermarkets will deliver. I can get deliveries and I’m an hour away from the supermarkets. But if the weather is bad or they are short staffed they cancel your order to concentrate on the easier larger volume of deliveries in town.
No taxi is going to come out as taxis in rural areas are rare usually need booking in advance.
If you don’t drive what will you do when the school bus doesn’t bring your children home from school because of some problem?
You need to have passed your test before you move.

There are many places where supermarkets don’t deliver .

Get an electric bike.

Can you get a little scooter to get by on in the meantime?

If it’s heated by oil be aware that some areas have seen price increases by 80% in the last few weeks.

Check the taxi situation first. Where I live there are no Ubers and you have to book taxis a long time ahead.

I lived in the sticks in my early 20s and hated it. Didn’t drive, first bus of the day 9.30, last bus home 4.30. Couldn’t get a job as couldn’t get to it. Suffered mentally because so isolated. Nearest neighbours used home as holiday let so absolutely no one to talk to.
country living always sounds wonderful but the reality can be very different and be clear as the children become teenagers and until they drive you will be a taxi service.
if you do go ahead I wouldn’t wait until you move to book driving lessons, I would do it now and book a crash course and look for a cancellation test.

No way would I move to a house where a supermarket is an hour away. I’ve always lived in a village, but 10 min drive is furthest away we’ve ever been for food, schools, chemist, Drs etc.

Also what happens the day after you move in and DH has to be in the office, how do you get your dc to school/Drs etc?

Where is this village @rapunzelsreptile ?

If you are used to having everything on your doorstep, its a different way of life.

You'll be driving your children everywhere until they learn to drive, if it snows you may be blocked in, you'll have to turn into a bit of a prepper.

My inlaws live like this and love it, but they had people move near them during covid but soon moved back to civilization because it wasnt what they expected.

I'm 2 miles away from anything. DHs condition for a bigger house further out was that I learned to drive. I am a terribley nervous and anxious driver but I passed in 9 months. Totally doable. I did use taxis for the first 3 years though. If this is possible go for it!

Our nearest shop is a 15 min drive. You get used to it, it’s fine with planning! We’ve always lived in very rural places. The kids love it, they are 14 and 15 and absolutely happy to live in the countryside.