Am I being mad to consider this house?

[rapunzelsreptile]

We’ve been to see a wonderful house. Truly amazing, an old house but immaculate with some gorgeous original features. It’s a dream home. We took our Dc to see it too and they loved it.

Here’s the issue. It’s not even the house or anything about the house. It’s the area. I don’t drive but dh does and can wfh from anywhere with relative flexibility. It’s in the middle of nowhere (almost). There’s not a shop, doctors surgery, post office. Nothing. It’s a 10 minute drive to the nearest town which has a co op, secondary school, car garage, nearest park etc. Still a village but has a few things. The nearest place with big supermarkets is an hour away. There is a primary school thankfully but no nursery. So I have made it clear to dh that I will be learning to drive asap when we move there which he is on board with but the local instructor is currently full so it could be a bit of a wait until I actually pass (probably looking at a year from now). Is it too ridiculous to consider or is it okay as I have a plan? Dh really wants to do it but this is my only reservation.

How social are you? If you enjoy meeting friends for coffee, catching a movie or dinner, or having a mooch round the shops, then you’re just making the things you love to do much longer and harder. If you’re a bit of a hermit and aren’t interested in life beyond your own family then being far away from people might work for you.

How old are your DC? Is the primary school walkable from the house or is it the 10-min drive away?

How would they get to the secondary school - is there a bus? An hour to the supermarket is not great either.

I grew up in a small village in the middle of non-beautiful countryside (bigger than where this house is tho – we had a primary school and a shop or two) and I really hated it. I really wish even now that my parents had stayed in the small town where I went to secondary school as it would have made a massive difference to my social life and friendships as a teen.

Social media makes it easier to connect now, but I still suspect you will either be a taxi service for many years or have very fed-up teens.

If you do do it tho, move heaven and earth to learn to drive sooner. Are there other instructors with space?

ETA: Have ony skimmed the thread but I see @Rayqueen2026 gives an opposite PoV to me which is very interesting (and of course equally valid)

À pal lived rurally in Devon... 6 miles from nearest shop... No bus /train.

4 kids... She was continually moving them around... The roads had no pavements... This happened every evening and weekend. They moved.

What's the public transport like? I don't drive and wouldn't live anywhere where I couldn't walk to a reasonable bus or train service. Like you, my DH drives, but I don't want to be reliant on him. I appreciate that you intend to learn to drive but as you've found, lessons are in short supply and there's a long wait for driving tests - and you don't know yet how easy you will find it to learn. Another thing to bear in mind is that there's an experience gap between passing a driving test and being able to drive 'without thinking about it' if that makes sense!

In short, I'm saying make sure there is a plan B in the form of public transport, even if it's inconvenient and expensive, to tide you over.

I live rurally with approx 6-7 minute car journey to next village with one chippy, a pub and a co- op which has a post office
On my own , I love it , just have to be organised with shopping , dentist , GP etc
When kids were young - it would have been a no from me - I’ve been snowed in , flooded and it can be quite lonely

Not in a zillion years from me.
I think it may be worth thinking carefully about why the hoise is perfect. I imagine because the location brings a discount and you can't afford the same house in the village.

I would never compromise location.

OP says it's not about the house.

Here’s the issue. It’s not even the house or anything about the house. It’s the area.

What is it about the area that you are particularly excited about OP?

(If you are ever coming back to this thread)

This is my experience almost exactly.

Food shops delivered, buses to nearest town every few hours, big town close by for bits and bobs and a train station for links to bigger towns and cities if needed. Kids went to the local schools next town over on the school bus. Fabulous community, made lots of friends, and the kids loved growing up feeling safe and exploring countryside, walking, picnics, waterfalls and having adventures.

However, when they became teens their love of where we lived turned to hatred as they felt incredibly isolated from their friends. My DH and I had to play taxi every time they wanted to meet up or go out because the buses were not as frequent as we needed them to be. They found it incredibly boring and as a result did lots of sulking 🙄Life actually became very stressful and as my DH and I now had kids that were older, we found ourselves that we wanted 'a bit more'. Now we could go out without needing babysitters we wanted to have more stuff on the doorstep and missed having proper facilities in walking distance for the first time.

So I will say, while the children were young it was magical. None of missed bigger facilities, takeaways, and big high street shops and we were caught up in our village life. I would not have raised them anywhere else. They loved their childhood and the community and the countryside. So if your kids are little I am sure it will be amazing. But please bear in mind that this 'dream existence' may not last as they become a little older.

Being able to drive makes a massive difference. My DH and I both drive and being able to jump in the car and be in town in 10 minutes has been a gamechanger.

Our kids are both now adults and have moved out and we are currently in the process of downsizing to a smaller home in a bigger town with facilities on our doorstep which will be wonderful for the first time in ages.

But I think this is normal. Life changes and so do our requirements from what we want and need from life.

Lots to think about OP. Good Luck.

I think it really just depends on what you like. We currently live pretty rurally and I don't like it at all. I prefer to be able to walk places and I like a bit of life. Some people love it. You can learn to drive so I wouldn't worry about that.

Absolutely not. You are taking away your kids independence, they will be reliant on you for lifts. I don’t think that’s fair at all.

You can check your postcode on supermarket websites to see if they will deliver to you.

I grew up in the middle of nowhere, your kids won’t thank you for it!

Your family could lead an idyllic lifestyle in the countryside and if that’s what you want you should go for it. You only live once. Start driving lessons immediately and book a test as soon as you can. If the supermarket will deliver you’re laughing. You will end up driving your kids around a lot, but hopefully there is local transport to and from the nearest village at least.

I don't drive and I would never do this. I appreciate gorgeous houses as much as the next person but I would happily compromise on space to be centrally located, to be able to walk or cycle to the gym/shops/work/meet friends. But it depends on how social you are and how much company and independence you need.

A 10 minute drive is a 20 minute walk? Not unless your walking speed is 15 miles an hour.😁

It depends on whether you want village life.

What is there in the village and how old are your children?

It also depends on location.

There are villages that are 5 miles from 'civilisation' but they can be in commuter belts, 15 mins by car from a local town and you're into London in 30 minutes by train.

If you're in the wilds of Norfolk or Lincs, that's different.

Where is this house?

You're not giving much away to help us 😃

By the time you go through the buying process, you’ll have had time to learn to drive.

It will most likely be a nightmare for older kids and teens, as they will never be able to travel independently to friends houses or later to the pub.

It sounds like it's a lovely house but frankly in the wrong place, and at the end of the day I wouldn't let the loveliness of the house override the location.

Maybe if I knew I'd hardly ever need to drive it would be OK, but with kids you'll need to drive a lot. Make sure you're also not too focused on idyllic images including of inviting friends round, but not imagining what the rest of the time will be like.

It wouldn’t be for me OP as I like to be near shops and amenities, but if you want the rural
way of life and don’t mind driving to the nearest town, go for it

i don’t think it’s wise to rely on a car to get to amenities, so it wouldn’t be for me.

By the time you go through the buying process, you’ll have had time to learn to drive.

I wouldn't count on this - have you seen the wait for tests? and sorry but theres no guarantee you'll pass first time, or enjoy driving. I wouldn't do this move it sounds too cut off.

Unhelpful of me, but I really cannot think of anything worse. There is so much more to life than the four walls you house yourself in.

I personally couldn’t live somewhere so remote. I do drive but I know two people who have had to temporarily surrender licenses due to sudden onset of seizures (nothing major but enough to say no driving for a year etc). I wouldn’t live there without a license and having kids, that would be so isolating. Also when kids grow up, they won’t enjoy living somewhere so remote i’d imagine.

Not with the backlogs in tests. I booked my son’s and it was 5 months away the closest. Hopefully he passes or its another long wait.

Sounds amazing! Do an intensive driving course