Page 9 | Friend of acquaintance wants surveys

kirinm · 2025-12-22T10:18:31+00:00

We were buying a house and spent about £3k on surveys - we pulled out after 6 months after being strung along with probate and there being quite major structural issues. The house is big and in a very popular area so it’s had a lot of interest since although I understand the later sale failed too - I expect because of the surveys. It is a very obvious wreck and it was always going to be a back to brick type of place. The structural issues are harder to spot and were identified on the survey - so we ended up paying for a structural engineer and drain survey which is why they all ended up costing so much. Anyway, acquaintance contacted me to say her friend was looking at buying it and would she mind if I spoke to her. Before I’d responded said person contacted me. I explained very briefly that it’s a house that they should do lots of surveys on and check they have the money to fix the issues that they can’t see. Next day - can we see your survey before we make an offer. I didn’t respond as I was busy and had work events. Next day - sorry to pester but can I see the survey asap. i assume you have no use for them now. Cheeky or not cheeky?

Frogbear · 22/12/2025 21:23

housethatbuiltme · 22/12/2025 21:13

Its a common thing, this isn't something people just magically thought up.

Anyone going through the process currently has a solicitor working on these things as you pretty much need a solicitor for the house buying process and your paying them to handle these issues.

The fact you where gullible enough to not think of the ramifications and thus ASSUMED no one else would be capable to know the correct way because you couldn't comprehend more than your very first idea says a lot about how you view the world though.

Also it can't just be shared without legal guidance. Well, I mean it CAN but you leave yourself open to huge risks, thats the whole point. Enjoy spending £3k to give it to a randomer and then get sued by both them (since they are clearly tight CF) and the survey company (who you breached contract with with no safe guards).

Its not being tight its being safe.

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I’m gullible enough to not think about ramifications?

I’ve mentioned more than once that it would need be shared with caveats or I would get if OP was concerned about the complications around sharing.

I’m not sure how that suggests I’m gullible or that I view the world a certain way…

Somethingneedstochange78 · 23/12/2025 02:43

Very cheeky unless they are offering to pay you half the £3k of what you paid. Why should they get them free when you forked out £3k.?

W0tnow · 23/12/2025 04:02

Frogbear · 22/12/2025 20:34

“Be kind group?” Just because we don’t treat everything in life as a transaction? 😂😂😂

Your analogy makes no sense. Seeing a financial advisor is a lot more than my salary is X, what should I do? It’s going through your personal financial details and expenditure. It’s private and personal and I wouldn’t even share that with my best friend.

A house survey is not private and personal in any way.

You’re comparing apples with oranges.

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Do you honestly, honestly, think someone who isn’t prepared to share information that they paid 3k for, to a complete stranger, is someone who treats everything in life as a transaction? You don’t think that is a touch hyperbolic?

Anyway, we have similar incomes. What’s the issue? Can’t you just give me some of your financial planner’s advice? Like which stocks should I be investing in? Which pension plan? Where did he say you should be putting your money?

Original poster

kirinm · 23/12/2025 08:32

W0tnow · 23/12/2025 04:02

Do you honestly, honestly, think someone who isn’t prepared to share information that they paid 3k for, to a complete stranger, is someone who treats everything in life as a transaction? You don’t think that is a touch hyperbolic?

Anyway, we have similar incomes. What’s the issue? Can’t you just give me some of your financial planner’s advice? Like which stocks should I be investing in? Which pension plan? Where did he say you should be putting your money?

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Those who are determined to criticise don’t care that I’d already explained things to this random stranger or that the house in its current condition is a red flag, or that she’d already offered over what I’d offered (which is the now asking price) or that she didn’t really care about what I’d said because when she was chasing me on the Sunday it was because she intended to INCREASE her offer even more.

She wasn’t going to be able to see the survey on Sunday afternoon and calculate the rebuild costs from the survey before making her best and final offer on Monday morning.

i’d already shared a lot of information from the survey so she certainly knows more about the house than when she offered - and she knows more about the house than we did when WE offered.

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Frogbear · 23/12/2025 08:39

W0tnow · 23/12/2025 04:02

Do you honestly, honestly, think someone who isn’t prepared to share information that they paid 3k for, to a complete stranger, is someone who treats everything in life as a transaction? You don’t think that is a touch hyperbolic?

Anyway, we have similar incomes. What’s the issue? Can’t you just give me some of your financial planner’s advice? Like which stocks should I be investing in? Which pension plan? Where did he say you should be putting your money?

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General advice I was given, why wouldn’t I share that? I discuss investments and pensions plans with friends when the topic comes up. It’s not going to affect me if someone decides to invest in the same stocks and shares or open a savings account with the same bank.

You’re really not making the clever argument you think you are.

Original poster

kirinm · 23/12/2025 08:39

Frogbear · 22/12/2025 20:45

I’m not a pushover in any way. I’m just not so tight with money that I view any event as an opportunity to make money.

The money is gone. It was never going to come back. Just because someone got in touch with OP, doesn’t mean she has to use them to minimise the loss she already had and accepted.

I highly doubt those so willing to profit off sharing it would even consider going through their solicitor. I suspect the majority would hand it over for a bank transfer. But either way, sale or not, it can be shared with caveats as to the basis on which it’s shared. You don’t need a solicitor for that.

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I didn’t use them. They used me! They got a lot of information from me that they weren’t getting from anyone else. You’re so blinkered in your desire to paint me as greedy and profiteering that you don’t acknowledge that I did actually help this person out. The estate agent won’t volunteer the information I’ve shared. Nobody else will. I did enough.

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Frogbear · 23/12/2025 08:40

kirinm · 23/12/2025 08:32

Those who are determined to criticise don’t care that I’d already explained things to this random stranger or that the house in its current condition is a red flag, or that she’d already offered over what I’d offered (which is the now asking price) or that she didn’t really care about what I’d said because when she was chasing me on the Sunday it was because she intended to INCREASE her offer even more.

She wasn’t going to be able to see the survey on Sunday afternoon and calculate the rebuild costs from the survey before making her best and final offer on Monday morning.

i’d already shared a lot of information from the survey so she certainly knows more about the house than when she offered - and she knows more about the house than we did when WE offered.

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For the umpteenth time, I have criticised the concept of getting money in return for providing it. I have made that point more than once so not sure why you’re missing it and keep suggesting I’m criticising for not helping.

Frogbear · 23/12/2025 08:41

kirinm · 23/12/2025 08:39

I didn’t use them. They used me! They got a lot of information from me that they weren’t getting from anyone else. You’re so blinkered in your desire to paint me as greedy and profiteering that you don’t acknowledge that I did actually help this person out. The estate agent won’t volunteer the information I’ve shared. Nobody else will. I did enough.

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Again, read my posts properly.

W0tnow · 23/12/2025 09:17

Frogbear · 23/12/2025 08:39

General advice I was given, why wouldn’t I share that? I discuss investments and pensions plans with friends when the topic comes up. It’s not going to affect me if someone decides to invest in the same stocks and shares or open a savings account with the same bank.

You’re really not making the clever argument you think you are.

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Why wouldn’t you? Well you can if you want. I might share information that I paid a private consultant for with a friend too. But a complete stranger? “Hey you don’t know me, in fact you’ve never met me, but can you give me the list of the investment suggestions you paid your financial advisor to research for you so I don’t have to pay for it myself?”

Clever argument? It’s just a conversation.

LittleBearPad · 23/12/2025 10:14

kirinm · 23/12/2025 08:39

I didn’t use them. They used me! They got a lot of information from me that they weren’t getting from anyone else. You’re so blinkered in your desire to paint me as greedy and profiteering that you don’t acknowledge that I did actually help this person out. The estate agent won’t volunteer the information I’ve shared. Nobody else will. I did enough.

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If you think you did enough then why are you so upset about this?

It would be fine to hand the survey over (after checking with the surveyor). It’s also fine not to.

Original poster

kirinm · 23/12/2025 11:16

LittleBearPad · 23/12/2025 10:14

If you think you did enough then why are you so upset about this?

It would be fine to hand the survey over (after checking with the surveyor). It’s also fine not to.

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I did do enough. It is only people on MN who seem to think I ought to have done anything they asked.

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