Can’t agree on buying house help

[Durumdurum]

We’ve seen a house we really like, but DH doesn’t like location, I do. It’s 5 min drive or 15 min cycle to his preferred location.
To be clear, he really likes the house.

Jm finding it really frustrating… I would be happy here, although I can see that and why he wants to live somewhere with more amenities , but to me, they’re only just down the road.

I want to spend my weekends enjoying the totally private garden, going for nice country walks. He wants to enjoy his free time being able to walk to the co-op, Drs and the library.

I don’t know what to do. I will be disappointed if we lose this house. And I don’t know (and the estate agents I’ve spoken to) don’t know if what we want is going to come up in budget in the preferred locations.

The place I like meets our needs for school, travel, proximity to our current friends and family. It’s just the other locations have slightly better transport (but we both wfh) and amenities.

Should I try and convince him? I don’t want to let my dreams go, but I also obviously don’t want to guilt trip him in to buying in an area he doesn’t like.

This is us but reversed!
the bigger village is obviously better - IF - we can find a house there. Which is sort of my problem in that nothing much has come up. It’s a popular area.
so hard!

When I bought a house with my ex-husband, I showed him the house that we were buying and he bought it.
Realistically, how often does he go to the doctors? The library or even the co-op?

Haha I like your style! This would be my ideal way of buying a house! 😆
yeah not often to those things! That’s what’s frustrating, we’re talking about now having a lovely house day to day so we can both wfh, for the sake of occasional having to get on bike or in car.
I a simplifying a bit!

It’s really tricky but I would be really tempted to just put in an offer. Our offer has been accepted. Do you want me to withdraw this on the basis of a trip to the bloody co-op?
When he has a few moments to sit and listen to it stated out loud and digest the fact that you’ve got the house and the only thing stopping him is his ridiculousness, Hopefully, common sense will prevail

Why should her choice be the most important?

If someone did this to me I’d be furious and feel cornered and suffocated.

Its not about the Co op. Its about living near decent amenities as opposed to living in the midddle of nowhere.

Its not about the Co op. Its about living near decent amenities as opposed to living in the middle of nowhere.
It's right there in the OP: the two locations are only 5 minutes away from each other!

I find wfh really claustrophobic if there’s nowhere to walk to in the daytime. And trudging round in a circle on some residential streets doesn’t count. It’s nice to get out on foot for a pint of milk or to go to the post office or something. So I do get what he means, it’s not about coop it’s about feeling you are living in part of somewhere.

Yes it’s really not the middle of nowhere! It’s the next village down from the one he ideally wants. There are half hour busses to the city, ten min drive to the train station though (further from the one he wants as there’s no train there either).
the difference is that the bigger village has the secondary school, de, dentist, co-op, obviously, and more people. But it’s within reach imo- but not walking. 15 min cycle, five min drive.
we are not debating town/city or country, we are debating waiting for potential house somewhere every so slightly bigger, five mins away, or this place with house available now

5 minute drive or 15 minutes cycle. So 30 mins walk? I like my bus stops and amenities 5 minutes walk away,

While it’s a funny idea, I’m obviously not going to put in an offer without him being on board!
and it’s not about my choice being more important… it’s more that there isn’t a house we’ve seen where he wants, and there is one five mins down the road.
i wish my choice was more important!!!

It’s funny tho because where we are now he is definitely claustrophobic- and would like somewhere to go - but surely a nice countryside walk is more appealing than boring residential streets around a built up village?

It would take an hour to walk to the co op I reckon. Not really doable just for some milk!
pp mentioned idealising it and this is definitely an occasion when we’d not walk!
that being said - an hour is not impossible! As long as you’re not dragging small children along too!

My DH wanted easy walking to local amenities which wasn't something particularly on my radar initially, but having now lived for years within a short walking distance of shops, cafes, station and (once upon a time) schools etc, I wouldn't want to have to drive to such places anymore (cycling is a thing of the past for me). I'm on team DH.

Yeah a countryside walk is always nice. However l like to come back to people and amenities. I quite like busy areas.

Rather than put in a solo offer (don't think the EA will let you!), tell him that you have been told it's off the market, SSTC. Then start humming "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got til it's gone"

Leave it 24 hours and then tell him the good news that wires got crossed somewhere and, miraculously, it is still available.

Ah he’ll be so glad everyone is agreeing with him!! I’m not! Honestly, you lot. Thought I’d get some solidarity 😆

Yes he’s similar to you! I’d love to live very far from people!

Yes this could work! Could backfire tho and he’ll be secretly pleased!

How long would it take you to walk? Is there a pleasant route?

We live a half hour walk from the co-op and I enjoy the fact it's a bit of a distance. We often walk there on a weekend. It's good for the kids to get used to walking. They like going to the park in the next village.

Sometimes not having things on the doorstep adds to the appeal. Just to offer a different perspective.

It’s not really possible to walk. It would be an hour on the shortest route which is separate to the main road, but not scenic. I wouldn’t want to do that. The cycle route can either go this way or down some back way, although to be fair that takes a bit longer.
we can walk to a farm shop in half an hour, as well as the little shop in the village for basics.
where we are now the shop is even worse and we can’t walk anywhere- not field footpaths and farms, not to a useful shop. However we can walk to the train and a good cafe.
it’s hard to know.
I take on board what you’re saying tho, and I agree. I don’t mind a bit of distance! I’m fairly organised with the online shop and the freezer so I’m not too worried

Would you stop carrying on like a lamb chop though? That’s the main thing

What does this mean?

He is being ridiculous.
Backing him into a corner, stops him
being ridiculous at the rest of the families expense

Why. I agree with him.

If someone did that to me, I’d walk away. You can’t control someone by forcing them to do what you want.

At some point somebody is going to have to make a final decision here. They are never going to find the perfect house in the perfect location within their budget. Nobody ever does that it doesn’t matter what your price is. I’ve been looking for properties for £70,000 and 1.4 million previously and you never get 100% of what you’re looking for.
Somebody has to put their foot down.
Why shouldn’t somebody be the woman?