Selling house with elderly/disabled person living in it

[Cheepcheepcheep]

Any ideas gratefully received..

My dad has recently had a severe escalation in his disability and is now completely immobile. He lives with my mum in a 2 storey detached house and is currently sleeping in what was the dining room. He is doubly incontinent and has carers 4 times a day who get him out of bed, move him via hoist into the living room into his chair and back again at bedtime. Rest of the house is completely inaccessible for him. Mum is currently not in the best of health but will recover. Both have full capacity although my dad is a cantankerous old bloke who has absolutely no filter and can be a bit - tricky. I have an active POA for finances and property.

They desperately need to move into a bungalow wide enough for my dad to be able to move around in a wheelchair. Ideally they would have done this in the last 10 years when it was entirely foreseeable this would happen, but never mind…

We’ve had a couple of valuations but what I cannot get my head around is how we sell the house. The place is full to the brim with disability aids, its constantly cluttered with all the stuff he needs and there’s no way we can get him out of the house for photos, let alone actual viewings (of which I imagine there will need to be many given the current market).

I’ve looked to see if there’s any way they could move into somewhere new and then we could sell their house as vacant possession but the interest on bridging loans is eye watering and I don’t think they could afford it, ditto renting somewhere (and tbh I’m not sure dad could cope with the upheaval of 2 moves).

Has anyone done this before and have any tips or can offer some reassurance? I’ve bought and sold at profit 3 times in the last 10 years but that’s with staging etc and in a much better market.

McCarthy & Stone are rip off merchants.

I did not say he was cantakerous and am not the op

Our photographers helped my husband do room by room by literally lifting with him few things out of the room, taking the photos and shit back

but its right that people who have bad experiences should comment.

I would be concerned at anyone selling their parents home without clear proof that the couple both want to move. It's their life and home, a move late in life can hasten death. Any solicitor handling the conveyance would be asking questions.

Put it up for auction? It probably needs a fair bit of work, apart from staging and moving them out to do work and then back in and then out again when it sells seems like too much upheaval for them both. The absolutely best price is not as important as their comfort at this point.

Can you even sell if he is not willing to move?

No sorry my first sentence was to you, the rest to the op I should have been clearer.

I would second the thoughts about thinking hard as to whether buying another house is a good idea at this point in life, particularly given stamp duty. If a move is appropriate then I would think about some form of rented sheltered accommodation

As somebody who this happened to I'd be more worried about spending ££££ on acquiring the property and then finding they refused to move

You said yourself this needed to be done years ago, and if the reason for the delay is that they simply didn't want to leave what's changed now?

It's all doable in theory of course, but you might need to resign yourself to auctioning it in the end

Just to add, the situation with my grandparents was very similar to your parents OP. My grandfather had a hospital bed in the ex-dining room and was hoisted to a chair in the living room during the day. My grandmother had her own health problems too.

There was no question of them moving house as they were too old and unwell to cope with a house move. They got a live-in carer who cared for both of them, and they died in the home they had lived in for 50 years and were happy in.

Of course that depends on there being the spare cash to pay for a carer without selling the house, but can be a good option as it is far less disruptive.

Have your parents considered the options and expressed a preference, it's not really clear from your post.

Could you raise enough deposit to buy something with an interest only mortgage, then pay it off when the house sells?

My Mum’s last house sold with my step Dad receiving palliative/end of life care in the master bedroom! (They had been planning to move to somewhere easier for him when he took a turn for the worse and my Mum decided she should continue the process as had found a retirement bungalow she felt would work for her long term too). Agents explained the situation to prospective purchasers and they were respectful of the situation, though it felt VERY weird. House sold. If there is any way you can sort the rooms he’s not in that would help. Otherwise you need to move them to yours whilst you stage & sell it or just accept you’ll get a lower price.

Take photos of the living room whilst he is in the dining room…….rest of the house shouldn’t be a problem surely, just make sure it’s clean and accessible (safe). The outside images won’t be an issue either. Ensure that prospective viewers are aware and hope they are respectful of the circumstances either by you being there for viewings or making sure the EA is fully on board.
Genuine prospective buyers will be able to look beyond the necessary clutter. Hope all goes well, your mum improves and both settle into a practical and safe new home 💐

Give the house a good clean and tidy, put the aids in your dad's room or a shed/garage/car for as long it takes to get the photos.

Move everything into the living room
the following morning including your Dad if he does that anyway, and take photos of his room.

Would there be scope for him to go somewhere for a week or two of respite care, during which time you could do some packing of non essentials and have viewings?

I’ve bought and sold at profit 3 times in the last 10 years but that’s with staging etc and in a much better market.

Maybe accept that this isn't a sale that ia about generating (max) profit.

Have a word with local agents, as sure they will have dealt with similar before and hopefully can give you advice, but doing something like an “open house” where they book a load of viewers over a 2 hour period might be an option if your parents could stay somewhere else for those 2 hours.

A few options could be potentially part exchanging for a new build bungalow (if there are any developments in the area they want to move to).

Secured loan against their current property to then purchase a new home - remembering they will need to pay the additional stamp duty surcharge, but can reclaim providing their first home is sold within a couple of years (not sure current rules).

Those we buy any house type places, but usually they will lowball you on price and then usually do the same again on the date you’re due to exchange contracts - more so if you’re doing same day exchange/completion.

Personally I would avoid buying anything in a retirement village - aka the developments that are purely for over 55’s etc. My nan had one in the 90’s/early noughties and when she passed away it was a bloody nightmare to sell ( 18months or more from memory) and sold for a fair bit under what she paid (this was well before the housing crash happened). I believe the more modern ones are far more of a nuisance to sell, lose most of their value and usually have massive management fees etc from what I’ve seen in news articles/read on other forums.

Also just noticed that your dad's sadly doubly incontinent

I'm trying to put this delicately, but is there any "evidence" of this, which family may have become accustomed to but viewers might pick up on instantly and then worry about an extensive bio cleaning job?

You can't just put someone into a care home if they don't want to go and still have capacity. Plus, you would be splitting him up from his wife of many years. Don't you have any compassion?

I have to agree that a move to a bungalow is not realistic at this stage. If they had sufficient funds to buy and equip before selling, it would be a hassle but it would be doable.

But in this circumstance, he either stays put and they muddle through or he moves into a care home.

Even priced to sell if you don’t find a cash buyer it could take a year.

Respite care isn’t realistic anyway, it could easily take a year.

You mean like putting a dog in kennels.?

I'm guessing that it'll go for below market value anyway - properties that elderly folk live in tend to not have been updated for a while, outdated decor, wiring old etc - so people will be looking at it as a project and be able to see past all the stuff. You just need to price realistically and drop price if not getting interest.

and yes you can get temporary care home places - respite care

Her mum and dad still have capacity, so unless BOTH of them have asked the op for help in selling, she has no legal right to even call an estate agency in to value the property. Just because someone is old and has health problems, doesn't mean you can take over their lives and make decisions for them.

They both have capacity, do they want to move, are they happy to sell the house and instruct solicitors and have viewings. Health poa doesn't come until they lack capacity so at the moment it's their choice what they do and where they live.

Absolutely. If you read my second post, I ask what preference they have expressed.