Selling house with elderly/disabled person living in it

[Cheepcheepcheep]

Any ideas gratefully received..

My dad has recently had a severe escalation in his disability and is now completely immobile. He lives with my mum in a 2 storey detached house and is currently sleeping in what was the dining room. He is doubly incontinent and has carers 4 times a day who get him out of bed, move him via hoist into the living room into his chair and back again at bedtime. Rest of the house is completely inaccessible for him. Mum is currently not in the best of health but will recover. Both have full capacity although my dad is a cantankerous old bloke who has absolutely no filter and can be a bit - tricky. I have an active POA for finances and property.

They desperately need to move into a bungalow wide enough for my dad to be able to move around in a wheelchair. Ideally they would have done this in the last 10 years when it was entirely foreseeable this would happen, but never mind…

We’ve had a couple of valuations but what I cannot get my head around is how we sell the house. The place is full to the brim with disability aids, its constantly cluttered with all the stuff he needs and there’s no way we can get him out of the house for photos, let alone actual viewings (of which I imagine there will need to be many given the current market).

I’ve looked to see if there’s any way they could move into somewhere new and then we could sell their house as vacant possession but the interest on bridging loans is eye watering and I don’t think they could afford it, ditto renting somewhere (and tbh I’m not sure dad could cope with the upheaval of 2 moves).

Has anyone done this before and have any tips or can offer some reassurance? I’ve bought and sold at profit 3 times in the last 10 years but that’s with staging etc and in a much better market.

Sheltered accommodation is usually already set up for wheelchairs, wide enough doors etc. And if you rent, you don't have the nightmare of selling it later on. My grandparents moved to one in similar circumstances and found it just made life an awful lot easier.

Just a word of caution, my Mum recently put her house on the market (she wanted to release some equity) her house is nice but dated, cluttered with family photos etc but clean with recent bathroom and kitchen, nice area. She had about 10 viewers and not one offer. No one. It’s top end of the price it should be at but not outrageously so and no one offered.
whatever you decide to do you might need to price it keenly if you want a sale.

Ditto to this.

A good EA will explain the situation in advance, and genuine buyers - not those easily influenced by a bit of ‘dressing’ - will be able to see past superficialities.

I viewed a house like this. A little awkward as he wasn't even lucid enough for us to say hello before poking round his house but it is what is it. We were briefed by the EA of course, and it was obvious from the pictutes as they had a hospital bed and a large sheet covering a part of that room in the photo. Too much work for us in the end

If your dad is just in the one room, could you move all the disability aids into that space and then declutter everywhere else? Things that are not in regular use can be covered up (for the photos) and then at least the rest of the house looks reasonably smart.

My dad has a disability, is mobile round the house but also has lots of walking frames, 3 wheelers etc. I keep trying to give some away (no one really needs that many!!) but he isn’t keen. We have repurposed a lean-to room at the back of the house for walking aids which aren’t in regular use. The rest of the house has decent storage so everything else gets put in cupboards. It looks pretty tidy most of the time.

It might also help if you get prices ahead of time for removing the hoist. Prospective buyers might be glad to know up front how much it would cost to remove.

Sorry not an answer to your question, but with that level of disability, is it feasible to move to another property? It sounds like caring for your dad is very difficult. Is it fair on your mum, it sounds like she has no life at all. What happens overnight?

Have you considered a care home for him? I realise this is difficult, my stepfather became disabled and basically social services got involved when he was in hospital and felt a care home was the only option because my mum was ill herself and could not care for him.

@Anon150 I wonder if potential buyers are worried that she doesn’t really want to sell? There’s a house near me like this, has been on the market for ages but the seller won’t consider lowering the price below the overly high asking price as she doesn’t really want to move but is going through the motions to appease family (which is how I know the situation as I know her daughter, who is v fed up!)

What do your parents want to do? It’s their home, you can’t just sell it from under them. Don’t move them out temporarily, that would be enormously upsetting for them.
I would get a good agent and sell it as it is. The agent will be used to this

That may not be the best idea for someone who needs mobility aids installed-landlords could be awkward about it

Get a good estate agent. A developer will look beyond the clutter. If you have any information about house maintenance / repairs / servicing etc it will be worth digging out. Try not to stress - this is a more common problem then you think.

If he is only living downstairs nothing to stop you sorting out the upstairs, and then you can make sure the garden is tidy, kitchen clean a
nd uncluttered. You can organise his medical stuff into neat boxes and trays. Provided house looks clean and MOSTLY uncluttered, and everything expensive to fix has been tested/in good repair, should be fine

I would do this. Quick sale, yes for less than the market value but tbh as you say selling without being able to prepare the house for viewing will be tricky and stressful anyway.

Quick sale then may rent a sheltered accommodation type of place are there any nearby?

Or, as he's double incontinent it is maybe the right time for a care home then your dm can stay put.

I am currently looking at bungalows and aids, wheelchairs and so on in the house do not put me off one bit, although if I'd need to eg refit a bathroom, then I'd take that into account in the price. So long as the house is clean and looks cared for I'd be fine with it, but yes if your parents can't go out then viewings need to be handled carefully and I'd be asking the EA to only allow viewings to people who were in a position to proceed. In the past I have viewed houses with an "interesting" disabled family member there and again it didn't put me off viewing or considering the house but again needs careful prep of the viewers by the EA. Of course you will make the areas in the house that your Dad doesn't use look as lovely and clutter free as you can?

Could he go into a home for a few weeks whilst you market the house?

Just to reassure you, I bought a house with a similar set up and it was fine. There was one person immobile in the front room surrounded by boxes of medical equipment. A starlift on the staircase and a hospital-style bathroom.

Those things didn't put us off, we could see through these 'issues'. The only problem we had was that another elderly member of the family followed us around the house during the two viewings commenting on things which made it hard for us to relax. She was perfectly lovely but it was hard for us to then be honest about questions/reservations we had for the estate agent.

My advice would be similar to others, make sure the estate agent suggests a realistic price to sell (I dont mean underselling, but just so it doesn't sit on the market for months) and if you can get your mum out of the house during viewings that will help.

In terms of photos, the agent didn't include photos of the room in question (nor the bathroom).

If there's no shed space and you can afford it, I'd suggest you get a storage unit to store some of the clutter. You can always bring bits back in between viewings if absolutely necessary, but that way your parents won't feel they're being rushed into getting rid of their possessions at a time of change.

I agree with the poster who has questioned whether moving to a bungalow is the right option for your dad. In this market, and the circumstances which could limit your pool of buyers, a sale could take quite a while. During that time your dad is likely to deteriorate and may need a care home. IME while you are working on one option, life takes over and things deteriorate.

So if I was going to sell, I would want it to be quick. I might consider selling at auction, assuming of course there is a suitable property available for your parents to move to.

Best of luck whatever you decide, I had POA for my mother and I know how difficult these decisions are.

Firms like McCarthy & Stone offer a part exchange program where they buy the house and even offer discounts/freebies on removal costs etc. As long as you do your research and understand the implications, i.e. ongoing fees and potential difficulty in future sales, it may well be the best option in these circumstances.

Actually I think you need to skip the bungalow and get him in a care home

It really does sound as though a care home is now needed.

do not touch them with someone else's bargepole.

if he still has capacity, or if his wife has and can choose for him, its not that easy....and neither should it be!

No but it is important to have the discussion.

As he is immobile, incontinent and has carers 4 times a day hasn't anyone discussed a care home with him?

I know you say he is cantankerous, many old and frail people are just scared. A house move is such a massive undertaking in their condition can't your dm suggest that he needs to be in a carehome? Does he have a catheter so at least he isn't wet between the carers visits?

Can’t you take photos of rooms and edit out the stuff so people get an idea of size etc?

post removed because I didn't add the quote

As I said, do your research and make sure you understand what you're signing. They work for lots of people. The problems are those who don't understand and get caught out with the charges etc.