Am I being unreasonable?

[Barnets5pSlots]

How unreasonable am I being here? We were due to exchange tomorrow and complete on Friday, although at the last minute completion has been moved to next week. I am nowhere near being finished packing. The home is a bomb site at the moment whilst I’m trying to sort out what I can. Earlier today I got a call from the estate agent asking if the buyers can view the home tomorrow as they now won’t agree to exchange without seeing it again. There is absolutely no way I can get the house into any reasonable state for viewing tomorrow. It honestly looks like every room has been ransacked. I also work from home 3 days a week and the office the other 2. When I’m at home, obviously there can’t be any viewings, as I’m talking private calls for an hour each time all day. When I’m in the office, my dog is at home and he will not tolerate someone letting themselves into my home to look around. I have no one to look after him either and last time he went in kennels, he was so upset he scratched his claws down until they bled - so that isn’t an option either.

I’ve suggested one day next week where I have a 2 hour gap, and everyone feels I am being awkward and unreasonable being so rigid. I am a single mum, I work 2 jobs totalling 50 hours a week and my children do sports activities that I have to take them to every night of the week. It’s beyond stressful at the moment trying to pack and make sure that will be done by the day of the move, I have no help from anyone, let alone now having the pressure of sorting it out so someone can view. I wondered with my estate agent why the buyer couldn’t have said this sooner and visited last week or the week before; before all the packing and reorganising started, rather than demanding it the day of exchange. Am I being unreasonable?

When I was selling a house, I'd have allowed it with the understanding the place was a mess and they'd have to look past it. If I were working, they'd have had to deal with my presence. No reason to stop them.

TBF its standard not to exchange until a viewing has been held, you should have planned for it and you being unorganized is not everyone else's problems. By refusing it you are holding everything up and risking the sale, would you buy a house sight unseen (like we had only seen our house ONCE 3.5 months earlier until we viewed on the day we exchanged).

They don't care about your furniture, boxes and stuff, its not a show home and thats not what they are buying, they need to check you haven't destroyed the house or any major problems (leaks, cracks, holes, squatters, as someone posted the other day infestations of bees etc...) haven't occurred before committing to the sale.

Visiting weeks earlier would completely defeat the point as anything could happen in that time.

Standard to ask for viewing before exchange, most solicitors advise this. We downsized a few years ago, we had so much stuff, DH did countless tip runs, DS1 helped my pack up the house. Have you got anyone who can help, or could you pay for a packing service? We started packing long before exchange tbh, no way would we have got it done otherwise.

Good lord, your estate agent must be thick if they don't know the purpose of this visit.

All solicitors recommend buyers view the house immediately - not a week or two prior - to exchange.

This is because from exchange, buyers shoulder all financial responsibility for the condition of the property. The mortgage will be released and they can't back out of that.

Say you have a week between exchange and completion, and in that time you spring a leak that brings down half your ceiling. Because the buyers have not visited, the cost of those repairs are now on them, and there's absolutely nothing they can do about it. No compensation for them. They can't force you to fix it.

So, let them come. Tell them a) no access to garden as I'll probably be on calls and dog needs to go somewhere and b) you will probably have to show yourself around as I am working, and please excuse the house looking like a bomb site.

Sorry to say it but yes you are being unreasonable.

Their solicitor has probably advised them to view the house just before Exchange and in any case it is good practice. The house doesn’t have to look neat, they should just be checking there is no structural damage like a water leak or something before they agree to Exchange.

You’re so close to the finish line now. But you will need to take some time off work or allow the EA to show them round while you’re in the office one day before Exchange.

If a Seller refused to do this I would consider it a red flag and want to delay Exchange. So just bite the bullet is my advice.

Our buyer asked to visit a few days before she completed as she wanted to double check certain things, mainly how things would fit but also show her DD her new home as she was upset with family circumstances and moving. I knew I didn't have time to make it presentable, had things littered all over the bedrooms, there was a pile of things in the middle of the conservatory which I wanted to take to tip, boxes stacked high in the lounge by the door, making to hard to get in.

We hadn't met her before and as soon as we opened the door, she was so lovely and warm and totally appreciated being able to view. She was in the middle of a divorce and her and DH had two sets of everything packed and so their house was apparently far worse than ours. Her DD was totally reassured, she noticed the cat flap immediately, loved the garden for their cats and told her Mum she loved the colour of her bedroom and Mum didn't have to repaint it for her.

I wasn't completely comfortable at the time, but in retrospect it would have been a really mean thing to deny a viewing.

Hold ddog in the garden and tell the agent to crack on showing them round.

This is really common OP so yes you are being unreasonable, most people want to view again before exchange and it’s actually advised.

The house doesn’t need to be show home ready, they know you’re packing it up, you’re working from home some days so arrange the viewing for your lunch break or book an hour off work for this purpose and explain to your employer.

Is this a new thing? I have bought two houses, in 1998 and 2010 and this wasn't a thing either time.

Not sure if it’s new, my parents certainly were advised to do this when buying their most recent home in 2014ish, my husband & I have been advised to do it for both of ours in the last 10 years, my sister was advised to do it last month when buying her first home.

The house buying takes SO long now, even for my sister who was first time buyer, no chain as the house they bought was already empty, a builder had bought & flipped it but never lived in it so there was absolutely no chain either way, it was 4 months from offer accepted to exchange date. If I haven’t seen the property in 4 months I want to have another look before I sign & take on financial responsibility- a lot can change in that time!

It's a fairly new thing, yes.

I mean, it was always sensible to view a house just before Exchange but it seems more common now that solicitors will actually advise it to their clients.

I appreciate all the advice and will see what I can do. It won’t be possible for them to view while I’m working. My office is in the kitchen diner, which will mean the whole downstairs can’t be viewed, as I’m a therapist and conduct whole hour sessions on the laptop. It wouldn’t be ethical for someone unknown to be going around my home being able to hear what is being said by my clients. Unfortunately, due to my hours, I try to squeeze in back to back sessions to allow me to collect my children from school and don’t have a lunch break.

Also, the reason I mentioned the dog was about them not being able to visit if I wasn’t there. If I was there, I’d take him out for a walk to allow the estate agent to do the viewing.

I don’t think these viewings are common in the area I live in. I have never been advised to view any of the houses I have bought just prior to exchange - including the one I’m now buying. The estate agent has not heard of people doing this either and none of the people I know have done so. We’re quite a small area so most people would use the same group of solicitors

Do you actually want to exchange atm or are you deliberately trying to push back on the dates because you aren’t ready ? From your description of your daily schedule it would appear that no date or time will ever suit you.

Honestly OP it sounds like you wouldn't have been ready to exchange or complete on the original dates anyway, if you're not packed yet and working every single hour of the day.

You do need to be a bit flexible here or it's just going to get pushed back again- they WILL want to come round, likely even if they have to wait to do so.

I've had a therapist reschedule an appointment before for an 'emergency', would this not fall under that umbrella?

OP, I've had viewings when I had a baby who had pulled out all my pots and lids on my kitchen floor, while I cooked dinner and there were multiple other young children playing around, after a busy day when I hadn't had much chance to tidy anything. It's not a big deal. I just told the agent they'd have to look past it.

But yes, you can't do viewings when holding counselling sessions.

Can the estate agent or you take some pics of whatever they are interested in or worried about and send them to the buyer instead.

It doesn't matter that it's not common in your area. Solicitors write it into paperwork to mitigate risk these days, and sensible buyers follow that advice. They could have been more prepared - I'm going to make sure my sellers are aware at least month in advance that we will be viewing the day before exchange and thus the exchange/completion dates should work around our visit (as I know they are very busy/semi nomadic, and I am organised and thoughtful).

For all your buyers know, your kids could have kicked holes into every wall in the house.

You've got clients, the place is a mess, kids, dogs, etc - I understand. But they are giving you hundreds of thousands of pounds of their/the bank's money, so to deny them this legally recommended final visit WOULD be unreasonable of you.

It's not their fault you have a family, dog, kids, WFH. The key thing is: you cannot refuse a 30 minute visit when someone is giving you hundreds of thousands of pounds. What your personal circumstances are is really none of their concern. It's not like they're coming round to measure up or hold paint swatches up against the wall.

I'd suggest you either offer them an evening when you have no clients, or review your client list to ascertain one or two who are least likely to fall into a pit of despair if you cancel their appointments and offer the EA those one or two slots.

I have offered them a day when I have some gaps and they’ve said that they can’t do it.

I work for the NHS, not myself, so I am not able to cancel some appointments. It’s really tough as they usually want 6 weeks notice for leave. They swapped my day off at short notice recently due to the completion date changing but made it clear they wouldn’t do anything more at short notice.

When I said that it wasn’t common around here, I wasn’t disputing that it wasn’t a thing. I was just explaining why I didn’t know this happens and seemingly my estate agents didn’t either. Had I known, I would have made sure that I had the house sorted, time to do a viewing etc the day before exchange, rather than the less than 24 hours notice that I got.

Your first priority at the moment should be getting to Exchange.

Even a higher priority than your employer or clients.

I appreciate it’s a difficult situation but you need to find a solution not keep focusing on the difficulties.

It's not on that they've asked for this after you've specified 'no more last minute requests', but people get stressed during house moves. They've probably just sat down and read the reams of legal paperwork this week. Or maybe their solicitor is drip feeding them. Mine sent me 30-40 odd pages of guidance on the process and mortgage which I sat down and read immediately. Early days though: a few days after instructing the solicitor. Easy enough to forget.

a) can the NHS give you a room to use for an afternoon b) can you borrow a mate's spare room c) are there rent-an-office facilities nearby with meeting rooms you can hire, and, if all those fail, d) they have to come in the evening because you've done your best and are shit out of options.

But, in reality, if none of those are agreeable, you have no choice but to take option e), which is to throw a sickie/say your kid is ill.

Just have them pop round in the evening? Ten mins, no drama.

This.

YANBU - we had this too and I found it crazy. In the end we let them do it but I felt it was very unfair given they could view it at any stage in the lengthy process.

Yes sorry but you are BU.

Are you having last minute jitters about selling? Because your post sounds a bit extreme and panicky.

They're not coming round to view with the intention of buying - they have (essentially) already bought the house and so no need to clean / tidy / have everything put away.

Why can't they just come round one day when you have finished work? Or on Saturday? You can take the dog / kids out for half an hour surely?

Thanks guys for all your input. I have autism and ADHD and sometimes when things change quickly I feel overwhelmed and unable to accept it. I can see now that this is usual practice and just a necessity that has to happen and that I need to just suck it up and get on with it. I’ve managed to rearrange my plans around a bit more and found a convenient time for both now. Thanks again for everyone’s help