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Reducing Our Offer (before exchange!)

52 replies

GoldenGoose16 · 20/05/2025 10:28

Am I being unreasonable?

We had our offer accepted on a house in July 2024, the terms of our offer stated we needed to exchange contracts by December. An elderly man with early onset dementia lives in the house and his son was looking to move him out into a flat. Things were moving at snail's pace, the sellers were very unresponsive and by the end of November we finally heard from them - little progress had been made with finding a new flat and they weren't willing to place their father into a care home/rent a flat for him. We were furious as we felt led up the garden path completely plus the EA said what the seller was looking for was unreasonable (crazy low price, no ground rent, etc.). The EA seemed very frustrated with the family and their antics, which says a lot. We didn't retract our offer but went actively looking at other houses, it was tough as Dec-March is the worst time of the year and very little was on the market that we'd consider. In April the sellers finally found a flat, their offer was rejected but luckily they ended up getting it accepted a few weeks later as the original offer fell through. For context, this was the only offer they submitted on a flat in that whole search period (7 months). We are now looking to exchange in about 2-3 weeks time. On our side, we had found two potential other properties but these didn't end up going anywhere due to issues like subsidence and probate (we wanted a clean, easy chain free purchase). We feel very frustrated with how slow the sellers have been, the lack of urgency and their dishonesty have not only rubbed us the wrong way but have cost us extensively. We have to pay £4K additional stamp duty as it rolled past April, we need to pay for new searches (as it passed 6 months), we have gone through x3 mortgages and paid premiums for some of these. We also had to extend our rental contract meaning increased rent for a few months. We don't think it's fair that we should have to incur all these fees plus the amount of time it's taken them to get their act together. The EA actually said this has been the longest sale he's ever had (almost 1 year!). We want to ask for a reduction of £10-15K which we feel is reasonable (and no doubt they will counter so we'll likely end up with less). It's a very small percentage of the overall house price (<2%). My partner is nervous that they might get upset and act in a reactive way but I personally feel the worst case scenario is they just say no. Additionally, a few houses on their street have gone on the market for cheaper asking prices than we anticipated (or have been reduced) and if they relisted the house tomorrow they probably wouldn't get the same offer we agreed - likely £10-15K lower. Am I being unreasonable to ask for this discount or is it justified? And when should I tell the EA that I want this reduction? I'm not being sly or trying to leave this last minute but I wanted to wait to see if this sale with the flat they're buying is actually going through (as there's been false hope before). All feedback welcome!

OP posts:
Kay286 · 20/05/2025 10:34

I think I would ! Id be very frustrated at this why should u bare all the extra cost - I would think since you’re so far down the line unlikely they would pull out too , especially since if they had to re sell it’s worth less anyway - I would contact the ea asap and explain your reasoning

Renabrook · 20/05/2025 10:39

I would only do it if I was willing to walk away

HeddaGarbled · 20/05/2025 10:44

Do you want to take the risk of torpedoing the whole thing?

Sunontheair · 20/05/2025 10:45

Someone did this to me when I was selling my place. I just said no and the sale progressed. Just be prepared that if you aren’t actually prepared to walk away then you have very little leverage. Is your husband prepared to lose the sale and start again?

Id always so no to someone trying to
drop the price until they actually pulled out. At that point I might cave and get the estate agent to rescue the chain. Unless you’re actually prepared to bail I wouldnt

Piffle11 · 20/05/2025 10:50

Will your reduced offer mean that they can no longer afford the new flat?

I totally understand how frustrating it must be for you, but they don’t exactly seem to be in a hurry, and may end up pulling the plug on you if you try and reduce the price at this stage.

Koazy · 20/05/2025 10:52

You’re a saint. Offer less and walk if needed

Fleamaker · 20/05/2025 10:53

I don't understand why you would jeopardize the sale when you're so close to the end...I wouldn't risk it. They've been slow but it was your choice to wait??

Crowfeet · 20/05/2025 10:53

I can understand your thinking and frustration. If you do decide to do this I think you do have to be prepared to walk away. We were in a similar situation a couple of years ago and in the end said unless we exchange by next week, we’re out. We meant it too. Funnily enough we suddenly exchanged 2 days later after 8 months of faffing by our seller. We didn’t ask for a reduction as our first mortgage, searches etc were still in date, just! Plus we’d also got a really good price to begin with as we weren’t in a chain and were cash buyers as we’d previously sold our last house.

Mauro711 · 20/05/2025 10:54

It seems very unlikely that these are the type of sellers that would even consider negotiating down the price at this point. It has taken them nearly a year to find a flat they can afford, I doubt they are willing or able to part with any additional money at this point and they are not in any hurry to move. If you aren't that fussed about the house then you can try, but it may well mean you are back to square one.

Feelingstrange2 · 20/05/2025 11:06

Firstly are you prepared for it to fall.through? If you are, then I can understand your viewpoint and feel your frustration.

However I think your basis for the reduction is a bit messy. Most of these costs are sunk costs now?

However a fall in value I can understand clearly. My DS started looking in May 24 and.today is a very different market.

I think if you do it you should be very clear of your reasons. If they are acting as POA they have to try and get the best price possible for the place. And I suspect you'll need to get the mortgage changed if they agree so you may be delaying things again.

I don't blame you at all but I suspect their position has been a difficult one too - I say that as someone who is thinking we should sell my Dad's house (dementia but he lives with us) and can't face the stress!

mixedcereal · 20/05/2025 11:07

I think for me it would depend whether I was willing to lose the sale. £15k on your mortgage will be minimal so money can’t be the driver here.
you set a deadline of December which they didn’t hit, but you also didn’t walk away at your own deadline? It’s not 5 months later and you suddenly want to ask for a chip.
I think I’d have raised this earlier in the year or at least when the stamp duty announcement came.

21ZIGGY · 20/05/2025 11:10

So you wannt to knock 15k off a 750k house?

orangedream · 20/05/2025 11:16

If you're going to do it, you need it to be an exact itemised figure that you ask for as they didn't close in December as agreed.

List the extra stamp duty, extra mortgage application fees and rental costs since 1st January. Do you have it in writing to them that you needed a December closing?

Chewbecca · 20/05/2025 11:16

I wouldn't, I would just want the sale to go through as soon as practical.

I get you are frustrated but think of the end goal and how best to get there!

Cyclebabble · 20/05/2025 11:22

The circumstances here are quite unusual given the delays and an increase in stamp duty, so I do think you have some justification. However beware. Without any justification a buyer for my father's house tried lowering an offer just before exchange. In this case the tone was very much one of we want to renovate and we need funds to do so- the house was in good repair and clearly there was a sense of we have you over a barrel. My father refused to sell at all on the grounds that these were not the kind of people who would make good neighbours for the people he was leaving behind. It did cost him money, but he would have argued he acted on principle.

Seelybee · 20/05/2025 11:25

Your problem is that you didn't go for a chain free purchase. The sale was always dependant on the seller finding somewhere else. Yes, it's been an unreasonable amount of time but the buyer always has the upper hand until exchange has actually happened. At this late stage it's a risky game to try to negotiate down, if property values have gone down that needed to be addressed at the point that your purchase was back on. By holding on for this house you've given a clear message that you really want it.. The extra costs/potential reduced equity were avoidable if you'd walked away and bought somewhere else sooner. So on balance I agree with others - only reduce your offer if you're prepared to lose the house.

Weepixie · 20/05/2025 11:25

@Cyclebabble your father is a true gentleman.

HellsBalls · 20/05/2025 11:32

I think you are being unreasonable.

domesticslattern · 20/05/2025 11:42

It's not completely wild for a purchase to take this long tbh. It's not about what's "fair" or how you got to this point, it's about whether you now want to buy the house at that price or not. Are you prepared to start over if they are spooked and say no?

Springdaffs1 · 20/05/2025 11:49

I’ve been in a very similar position to you and I was sorely tempted. We didn’t drop our offer price because i believe it would have taken a little bit of time to redo the mortgage offer. Also our solicitors had completely lost all motivation as this was the third transaction like this that we - and they- had suffered through at the hands of selfish and greedy vendors who couldn’t make up their minds, and we were really keen to get it over the line as fast as possible and get ourselves out of the miserable situation that we we in.

However, I do now wish that we had listed these additional costs to the estate agent and said that our original offer had been on the basis of a very short chain (we were chain free) and a timescales that were reasonable so our offer has now reduced by x amount. I think that, for all their bravado, our vendors were actually desperate to sell, they were just totally crap at getting themselves organised and very selfish.

BestDIL · 20/05/2025 11:57

You can ask but be either prepared to proceed at the current price or walk away if they say no.

rainingsnoring · 20/05/2025 12:12

You would definitely be justified in asking. Your initial offer was based on a reasonable time frame of 5-6 months and they have dragged things out endlessly, meaning that you have incurred significant extra costs, not to speak of stress. I would ask for a decent reduction and tell them why but you do need to be prepared to walk away if they say no. The good news is that other houses are being listed which you might be interested in now so hopefully you have some other options.

YetiRosetti · 20/05/2025 12:17

I sympathise with you but the problem is you’ve known about these additional costs for some time and I think it’s a bit shitty to wait until just before exchange to raise them

Springdaffs1 · 20/05/2025 12:28

I am also of the view that £15k on a £750k house is a significant amount of money! That’s a new bathroom or part of a new kitchen! A new patio and landscaping! Boarding the loft and a new boiler! All the things that you discover need doing once you have actually moved into the house marketed as being in ‘immaculate condition’. How many extra months would you need to add onto your mortgage to repay this? Why should you have to work for longer to pay off this part of your mortgage so that greedy guts (who clearly negotiated hard on his onward purchase) makes even more of a profit?

Pemba · 20/05/2025 13:06

Morally you'd be justified - and also it sounds like the house may not be worth as much as it was a year ago.

However you have to weigh that up with what is likely to be the reaction from the sellers. I think going by their past behaviour they probably won't accept a reduced amount at this stage. Also would the reduced amount stop them making their next purchase or whatever they need to do? They will probably feel that YOU are being unfair, as they've not given you much consideration so far.

If you are going to try then you need to be clear about it and explain the increased costs you've had due to their delays. Maybe they will be able to see where you're coming from, maybe not. Can they afford it to take less though? If you get pushback from them. then you have to decide if you'd be prepared to walk away from this house. Are there any other possibile houses?

Really I think you should have been more explicit about your deadlines etc throughout the whole process.