Which house would you choose?

[rosedahlialily]

Pregnant with first baby, due in August. DH works in central London, I work from home but plan to take time off with the baby for the foreseeable.

We are relocating as DH currently commutes 2.5 hours to his office 3 days a week. It’s exhausting for him and he will miss out on so much when the baby is here.

We have seen two great houses in very different locations and we are struggling to make up our minds and don’t want our judgement to be clouded before the baby arrives. Our initial plan was to move as close as possible to the office, but we want a 3 bed house + a safe area so will have to compromise on commute still. It’s annoying cause the whole point of the move was to make sure he can be home more. He is the main breadwinner and doesn’t want to change jobs.

Which would you pick?

1 - In a beautiful part of SW London. On the river, desirable location, great amenities and buzzy community locally. House is very top of our budget, ticks every practical box but needs work and isn’t much of a looker. It could be great in the long run but will take time and we won’t have money to do it up right away. Transport links are annoyingly not great though - it will take DH 1 hour 15 minutes to the office door to door three days a week.
No friends locally, 2.5 hours drive from any family.

2 - In a beautiful Cotswolds village (our top choice village if we were to move there). House is stunning, ticks every box and wouldn’t need any work. Village has lovely pubs, shops, couple of cafes, nursery and primary school but no secondary. Nearest big city is 45 mins away. House 2 is 30K cheaper than house 1.
It would take DH 1 hour 45 minutes to the office door to door. We would be 1 hour 10 minutes from any family. No friends locally.

House 1 makes the most practical sense and would offer more to do locally/ chance of making friends.

House 2 is the dream house and closer to family but much quieter location

House 2 without question.

I'd go for house two. No contest IMO.

House 2, I'm not sure what the benefit of House 1 is? It's not even close to DH's work. If there was a House 3 which had a much shorter commute (under half an hour) I would lean towards that one if you want the London lifestyle.

However, if you're starting a family you'll find being near family a huge bonus, and you won't want to be renovating a house. So I'd probably still say House 2.

Neither, sorry.
The likelihood of his train being late/cancelled/strikes is enough to put me off 2. And having lived SW I didn’t adore the plane noise (more with third runway).

How far is the nearest secondary school? Will your child (and possible children) appreciate being 45min drive from a city?

Are these really your only choices? Where is your family?

Neither - why are neither of the options closer to your husband's work?

House 1 location sounds more fun.

Ultimately you have to be honest - are you city or rural? You can't ask others to make this choice - you're choosing the setting for your life.

Neither of them seem remotely helpful to decrease your husband’s commute in a meaningful way.

They’re both still bloody miles away from his work though. Option 2 sounds lovely for you with a new baby but very hard going for your DH. Commuting for an 1 hour and 45 mins is inconceivable to me.

Has house 1 ever been flooded by the river ?

If we opt for a London area closer to DH work we would either have to compromise on having a flat vs a house or living in an area we don’t like/ doesn’t feel as safe or family friendly. Having rented in London in my twenties our offices were always approx. 1 hour away door to door, even with the tube

Neither.
Find a sensible commute, then start looking round there

This is what I’m worried about. We think that reducing from 2.5 hours (5 hours a day) currently to 1.15 hours (2.3 hours a day) should make a good difference hopefully….

There must be villages with direct trains to central London though where his commute would be a lot easier than living in the Cotswolds? What about villages/nice towns in Buckinghamshire or Surrey?

Our family are all based all in Worcestershire if that helps.

Are you able to share your budget and approx office location as often MNers have great suggestions of London locations that could work? Neither of these options sounds sensible, London is huge and so many options of where to live that there is bound to be somewhere you haven’t considered that could work better?

Also the commute times are very much door to door… so walk to train station, train journey, transfer from train station to office etc.

Budget is 900k for 3 bed house. We want to be able to access the M40 relatively easily.

Office is Oxford Circus (as central as it gets…)

Neither is ideal. If I had to, I'd choose house 1. Shorter commute and a practical house. Having a baby is very isolating and moving to a little village may well exacerbate that feeling.

I think you are selfish to be considering either of them. Having such a lengthy commute along with a young child will result in an awful quality of life for your DH.

You’d be better off trying to get more flexibility with his work first if you want to live that far away. No amount of dream house will make his life anything other than just about bearable if it’s in such an inconvenient location.

The distance isn't going to seem markedly better.

If he's Oxford Circus, have you looked along the Elizabeth line? Burnham (despite being near Slough) is nice, and you could get a very decent house within your budget:

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156254981#/media?activePlan=1&id=media9&ref=photoCollage&channel=RES_BUY

Burnham to Bond Street (10 mins walk) can be as little as 35-40 mins. And getting out to Worcestershire is fairly fast because you're near the M4 and M40.

So the nearest big train station is Paddington?

I would be looking at places on the fast train from Paddington like Twyford in Berkshire. Or Caversham in Reading (nice leafy suburb close to river & walking distance to Reading station).

Or your husband could walk to Bond street which is close to Oxford Circus and get the Elizabeth Line from Bond street directly to Twyford or Reading.

It's also easy to access the M40 from Twyford.

How is it selfish? He is currently communicating 2.5 hours and house 1 is 1hr15! 1hr15 isn't that long a commute door to door. And only 3 days a week.

Neither sound ideal, though house 1 would be preferable to house 2 for me, unless you’re wedded to rural life and are planning on being a SAHM indefinitely.

I have three children under 4. The first two were born whilst we were living in a one-bed flat in zone 2, which was still a one hour commute to work for both of us. We couldn’t afford to stay so central and had to choose between moving further out of town or relocating to a new city. We left London and now live a 10 minute cycle from work. I cannot overstate how much this improved commute has impacted quality of life for the whole family! I’d rather live in a flat close to work than a bigger place with a regular long commute.