Which house would you choose?

[rosedahlialily]

Pregnant with first baby, due in August. DH works in central London, I work from home but plan to take time off with the baby for the foreseeable.

We are relocating as DH currently commutes 2.5 hours to his office 3 days a week. It’s exhausting for him and he will miss out on so much when the baby is here.

We have seen two great houses in very different locations and we are struggling to make up our minds and don’t want our judgement to be clouded before the baby arrives. Our initial plan was to move as close as possible to the office, but we want a 3 bed house + a safe area so will have to compromise on commute still. It’s annoying cause the whole point of the move was to make sure he can be home more. He is the main breadwinner and doesn’t want to change jobs.

Which would you pick?

1 - In a beautiful part of SW London. On the river, desirable location, great amenities and buzzy community locally. House is very top of our budget, ticks every practical box but needs work and isn’t much of a looker. It could be great in the long run but will take time and we won’t have money to do it up right away. Transport links are annoyingly not great though - it will take DH 1 hour 15 minutes to the office door to door three days a week.
No friends locally, 2.5 hours drive from any family.

2 - In a beautiful Cotswolds village (our top choice village if we were to move there). House is stunning, ticks every box and wouldn’t need any work. Village has lovely pubs, shops, couple of cafes, nursery and primary school but no secondary. Nearest big city is 45 mins away. House 2 is 30K cheaper than house 1.
It would take DH 1 hour 45 minutes to the office door to door. We would be 1 hour 10 minutes from any family. No friends locally.

House 1 makes the most practical sense and would offer more to do locally/ chance of making friends.

House 2 is the dream house and closer to family but much quieter location

Cotswolds sound dreamy but really the most practical choice is - the shortest commute and the nicest house you can afford.

There may be days with a newborn when you will be counting the minutes to hand over colicky baby or just to go out on your own for half an hour.
Reliable transport links are invaluable.

A flat closer to DHs work so that he only has a 30 min commute either way.

With the crappy travel time either way, I’d go house 2.

ps you could live in a 5 bed detached house near me for 900k and still be in central London in less than an hour. Not near the M40 really though!!

What about Marlow? You can easily get on to M40, there is a train into Maidenhead where you change to GWR (quick to Paddington - about 45 mins) or Elizabeth Line.
Marlow is lovely, very nice High Street with great shops, good community feel, good schools incl grammar. 10-15mins from M40
Or Twyford, on Elizabeth line too,less than 30m to Paddington GWR, you can walk to the station from most places, also has 3+bed houses for under 900k AND great family orientated community & good schools. Is 15-18 mins from M40 outside of rush hour.

Of those two, I think house 1 is the better bet. It’s a standard London commute and the area sounds much better for a young family, especially if you’re planning to be at home with your little one for a while. The Cotswolds place sounds potentially very isolating.

They are both so vastly different. Ultimately you need to decide if you are rural or city and what lifestyle you want as lives will be very different in both locations. I would say that’s more important than the actual house right now to decide.

2 definitely.

House 2 although neither of them is perfect. Pick which area first, then househunt there.

House 2 sounds better but (and it’s a big but) if it’s on the Cotswolds train line (GWR from
Paddington that goes to Worcester and beyond) the trains are bloody awful - forever delayed or cancelled. I used to do that run and DH still does, so I’m speaking from bitter experience!

This. Anything >1h commute means that he will miss out on any evening and morning time with the kids.

as above, you need to be looking on the Elizabeth line that will get to Bond street very quickly.

shorter commute is very important for having time with kids and you never get that time back if it is wasted on a long journey.

I wouldn’t pick either house.

I have to be in the office 1/2 days a week and my commute is about an hour and 15 door to door, I think this is fairly common. 30 mins commute is a luxury.

My tube once in London goes through where your DH seems to be (earlier than mine) so could be similar.

I’d look in Surrey.

I second the poster who said that you won’t want to feel isolated with a new baby, and also you’ll be counting down the minutes until DH gets home sometimes to take the baby out of your arms so you can get a break.

House 1, 1 hour 15 min commute isn't that bad & saves an hour vs house 2 plus I think places like the Cotswolds involve so much driving & boring for teens.

House 1 - 1 and a quarter hours is the very top of a tolerable commute, and while he only needs to be in 3 days now, that might change.

Also having teens in a village is zero fun for anyone (welcome to your new career as a taxi!) so I wouldn’t move to one with babies unless there was a good reason.

With that budget you should be able to get somewhere nice in London and knock a bit off the commute time eg somewhere Dulwich way or Blackheath (not Dulwich village it is true but some nice places), or have a look at closer commuter towns like St Albans with good quick train links

Also the commute times are very much door to door…

People always downplay this & say my train is 35 minutes to X but door to door is what counts.

I hate to break it to ya, but 1 hour 15 door to door is a totally normal london commute

900k is a decent budget & there are other places in London that might work.

You’d get a 3 bed in some parts of Ealing, Hanwell for £900,000. Also near a40/m40. I wouldn’t live in a rural area so I’d choose neither house when your commute could be less than 40 minutes.

Not house 2, unless you don’t plan for your children to be educated beyond 10yrs?

Neither from me. Lots of Home Counties locations get you into central London in under 40mins and £900k would be more than you’d need, so you can use the remaining funds to enjoy life!

I chose the flat in zone 3 but bearing in mind

1. Flat hasn't appreciated in value at all (residents managed and no cladding and service charge has barely increased in 5 years so none of usual leasehold issues) which means we can't afford to move to a house and at most can consider a lateral move to another flat.
2. Point 1 doesn't affect us as much as we always planned on having 1 child and this has been our plan for past 10 years, dh got a vasectomy

It doesn't sound like OP is stopping at one or wants to live in a flat long term...so will feel downside of living in a flat very quickly.

Upside obviously is my dh can cycle to work and we are in a great school catchment area (London has some great state schools) plus we don't run a car.

West Acton tube (central line) has some nice houses (chocolate box tudorbethan) in your budget round the corner.

Whereabouts in SW London are you looking? We live in SW. You definitely wouldnt want to live in our area but maybe some posters could recommend areas for £900k. We had nowhere near that budget so had to make a lot of compromises to get a house + garden, which was our non-negotiable and has been a great choice for our family.

My DH has a 1h 15m commute across London and there are days when I am counting the minutes for him to get back. And since I went back to work (55mins commute to central / z1), days juggling work + nursery runs or work + DC illness are a nightmare with him being even further away from where I am. The majority of it falls to me as it is and I think I would he very resentful if he was 1hr 45mins away. As you wfh, you will end up doing so much and it will start to frustrate you - especially when you are navigating going back to work around the millions of nursery / childminder / school bugs they bring home.

I think he will also get fed up eventually of not seeing DC during the week - leaving before they wake up and getting home after they go to bed. Most days, DH gets home to at least read them a story and do cuddles / short chat about their days before they settle down to sleep. It's really nice for him to have that bonding time.

Also don't stress about the friends locally. Once you have a baby, you meet so many other new mums - NCT, baby groups, nursery parents. Nearly all our local friends are as a result of the DC. It will follow naturally.

Some good ideas from pp on the Paddington / Lizzie lines for better options i think.

Yes as PP have said, Ealing, Acton or Hanwell great options for you as Lizzie line has massively reduced travel times. Prices have shot up but there are still 3 beds in your budget. Lots of parks and good schools.

You’d be mad to inflict the Cotswolds commute on your husband. Not to mention the lack of secondary schools - this alone will exclude it for me as you’d be looking to move in a few very short years, it comes around much quicker than you realise. There are loads of areas in London (zone 5) that are within or less than an hour commute to Oxford street that are nice family friendly areas and in your budget. It sounds like you are trying to combine a dreamy rural lifestyle with the practicalities of an office based London job. I’d really be more practical about having my husband around with young children and living in area more suitable for children.

Exactly this. 1h15 door to door is totally normal and doable - it’s a completely different order to 2.5 hours each way. I think this would really take the pressure off the commute. And sounds like a good, buzzy place to live with family. A 1h45 commute much further away (and thus more potential for trains to go wrong / fewer flexible options) feels a lot closer to his original commute time, which you’re trying to change. Not worth it.

Dare I ask, have you looked at schools?