Obvious estate agent lies

[Splattsagain]

I'm inspired to start this thread by the house I found on RightMove with a garden described as (and I quote) "a very private garden to enjoy al fresco dining during those balmy summer months". This is then accompanied by a photo of said garden, quite clearly showing the block of flats right next door overlooking it.

I have lost count of the roads in my new area I have seen described (by the same agents) as 'the most prestigious' or 'the most sought-after' in the area. There must be at least ten of them, including mine, one end of which is rather run-down old council blocks.

There’s usually a ‘triangle’, named after the nicest bit of a wider area. Which hides the deep dodginess of the actual location from anyone unfamiliar with it.

Those four bedroom houses where the fourth bedroom is actually based on you using a second reception room as a bedroom. They drive me nuts.

Estate agents working on my mums house keep sending her things so entirely the opposite of what she wants, and yes become a game. 'How far from my ideal will this one be?'

There's a house near us which seems to be completely obscuring any info about the dual carriageway flyover overhead. Oddly it's not sold and has been on for ages. Still, handy the main roads...

I've told this on here before, but my neighbours house went up for sale. The EA listing referred to the 'beautiful pond" in their garden, and they did have a small formed fish pond in their back garden of around 6ft x 4ft.

EA however, had chosen to photograph my front garden, which contained an extremely large natural pond so potential buyers assumed my garden was part of next doors house.

EA were mightily put out when I told them to remove that photo immediately.

This happened to us!
I found a listing for a house which looked almost identical house to the one we lived in at the time, only this was four bedrooms. The photos were abysmal. Couple of the outside, which had led us to the conclusion it was a very similar house to our current three bed, and a few grainy shots of kitchen and lounge. We decided to go and have a look and the extra room would have been great.

When we arrived it was immediately apparent that it was exactly the same house as the one we lived in. The fourth bedroom had been fashioned by removing the built in wardrobes from the bedrooms either side of the landing boiler cupboard and fashioning a long, thin, windowless corridor that the owner repeatedly referred to as a 'cot room'.

Even worse, at the end of this lightless corridor was a cot, the width of which touched either wall. Poor kid.

I remember this! Funnily enough I was actually going to post on this thread about it the other day 😂 Was very jealous of your beautiful pond that is practically a lake 😍

Ahh thank you. Still get the odd holidaymaker turning up in the garden!

In some big cities that is impossible. I also find the neighbours usually do not go to the windows to stare.

I saw one advertised as main bedroom having an ensuite...when it was actually the only bathroom in the 2 bed house

But then they just shouldn't claim that it's not overlooked when it clearly is (whether people do look or not).

Just like, if you're buying a small two-bed terrace in the middle of town - there's nothing wrong with it as a perfectly fine dwelling, but they don't mention the orangery, barn or lake that it obviously doesn't have!

I think @HotCrossBunplease was being ironic, hence the winky emoji..

The spelling and grammar mistakes I've seen on listings can be hilarious, some even completely made up words!

My favourite was the listing that used "WALLAH!" instead of "voila"

@Sacredhandbag not in Kingston upon Thames by chance ?? We turned down a really nice rental there a good few years ago when the agent waved at the landlord 2 doors away and said 'oh he's the landlord' - sorry but I don't want the landlord 2 doors away !!

Does anybody remember Under Offer - the housing-based gameshow with Yvette Fielding, Fred Dinenage and Toyah?

I always found it fun. The idea was that Fred and Toyah (and guests) would be shown a carefully-shot video of a property and asked to guess its value; however, afterwards, they would reveal the elephant in the room which would massively affect the value - either up or down.

I remember one episode where there was a massive garish mausoleum containing the previous owners' ancestors in the otherwise amazing garden, with a covenant that it couldn't ever be disturbed.

On another episode, there was a huge ancient stately home that looked amazing, but it had no grounds at all and was right in the middle of a great big housing estate packed with modern houses - it was literally 6 Acacia Road, 8 Acacia Road, 10 Acacia Road, Grand Ffarquhar Manor, 14 Acacia Road, 16 Acacia Road!

I do I loved this show!

My favourite was "the garden has delightful boarders". Delightful they may be but I was expecting vacant possession 🤷‍♀️

Honestly if I am ever in the position to do it I would love to set up an EA called Honest johns - my rightmove details would say something like

'This 3 bed house on a pleasant enough estate is really a 2 bedder but a nice size single for a cot, small child or office. The house could do with a lick of paint and a new boiler - the bathroom is a decent size but a bit dated- priced accordingly - !!

Years ago we lived in an area where quite a few houses regularly flooded, maybe every 5 years. I’ve seen some of these houses on Rightmove over the years, and there’s either no mention of the flooding issue in the EA details, or they might add a very small N.B. at the bottom making it sound like they’ve had a tiny bit of water in, but now have flood protection. Whereas the reality is they have 3-4 foot of river water in and any flood protection is absolutely useless as they’re sadly engulfed. However I have noticed how the EA talks poetically about the joys of living by a river in the details!

No, it's not!

But if I'd known, I wouldn't have taken it either! I didn't know until I was given the final contract to sign 2 days before we were due to move in and there was the landlord's name and address on the front page! Notice had been given to previous landlord, new tenants all lined up to move in, all our stuff in boxes and a months rent and deposit paid! Nothing I could do except call the estate agent in horrifed panic.

If I ever move to another rental I will be asking where the landlord lives! I'm prepared to pay extra for one who lives abroad 😅

@Sacredhandbag ha, ha me too - we once had a situation when we turned up with removals at a big 4 bed detached in posh bit of Oxford to find our 'unfurnished house' ( which of course was furnished when we viewed it) - was still very much furnished - and not that well either, tons of tat - when we double checked there was nothing in contract to say it was furnished/unfurnished- I had somehow missed that when reading through the 53 pages!! But the Rightmove posting showed unfurnished and agent had said unfurnished when we viewed it - so to be honest I wasn't really looking for that - much hassle ensued- with agents saying it was just 'a mistake' and landlord had told them unfurnished- landlord blaming agent etc - we ended up negotiating a half and half type of thing and some of there's went into storage and some of ours and we took £158 a month off rent. But it was the most incompetent hassle you don't need on day of a move. ( had moved 60 miles )

A poster once posted their relatives house here and they were disappointed it wasn't selling (cue 100 posters turning up to say it was dated, didnt have planters outside, and all the usual complaints) I recognised the house and knew it was literally metres from a railway bridge (that probably has 10+ trains an hour during peak times, and trains also run overnight) but not very convenient for the station or town. So neither rural and quiet , or noisy but convenient for things. I'm pretty sure the proximity to the railway would be the biggest deal breaker rather than anything to do with the actual house itself.

TBF I dream of having my own mausoleum in the garden.

You only 'rent' space in a graveyard or memorial garden, the only way to really protect yourself is to do it as you mentioned with private land with covenant.

If its windowless it cannot be sold as a habitable room... could turn it into a bathroom but they legally cannot claim it as a bedroom. Poor kid if theres ever a fire.

Not quite the same but we nicknamed this utter beauty of an 'en suite' as 'the poop cupboard' every time it popped up on rightmove.

First time I missed it, it was only when I though 'wait I didn't see the en suite' that I reviewed the photos... in case you cannot tell, its triangle shaped too.

An EA wrote 'cathedral views' on our house many years ago - it was even typed with * and capital letters - as if it was a major selling point. The cathedral was visible from one window and it was about 3 miles away, only visible if you knew what you were looking for. It was so embarrassing!