Moving out of London, post-Divorce. Suggestions of friendly towns

[Margie12]

Hi,
I'm in my early 50s, looking to move out of London post-divorce as just doesn't make financial sense to stretch my budget and buy in London again even though my networks are all here. I've got an 18 year old who'll be off to uni in the autumn which is when the family home we've been in for 16 years will be sold. I'm self-employed WFH but possibility of going back to employed eventually, which would mean office in waterloo/victoria area.

Budget of £550-700k for a flat or 2/3bed house. If anyone has any recommendations of a friendly town/village where I could build up a network through getting involved in activities, would love to know. Family-wise my sister is in SE London, so ideally somewhere that's in easy reach of her (Parents no longer with us; extended family are in Leeds and Wales so too far to relocate near them). Thinking about Sevenoaks and Hove as have good friends in both places.

Any suggestions, really welcome. All feels quite daunting but trying to think on the bright side of a new chapter!

I moved 140 miles when I divorced but it was to somewhere more connected rather than suburban. Your budget it would pretty healthy so i would not opt for a commuter, I'd also suggest perhaps renting for 6 months to a year isn't the worst idea so you can really think about what you want for a lifestyle. I met someone pretty quickly which is also something to take into consideration.

@DemonicCaveMaggot

The issue with all those groups are they are aimed at the retired. I could fill my days with amazing friendship making opportunities but I have a job! My town is very similar, all the groups are before it gets dark even 2/3 of the choirs!

Would you consider renting somewhere for 12 months first maybe? I'd be worried about spending the legal fees and stamp duty on a property that ends up being somewhere you're not keen on.

Giving yourself 12 months would give you time to explore the local community and any Meet Up groups, clubs, etc.

I'm here for the update. I'm sold on you staying in London

Ware, Hertford or Bishops Stortford and surrounding villages

Yep, thats a really lovely house. We looked at a house next door but this one has actually been extended and looks great. I would definitely look at something like that in your position. Crystal Palace is lovely, the house looks great, the street is super quiet. Why would you have to leave London if your networks are here.

Another one who thinks you should stay in London and that place in Crystal Palace is fab, so close to the park and all the shops/cafes and the Everyman cinema too!

Your budget ought to get you a flat in the Crystal Palace area which is sosed to be friendly and villagey for London so no need to move that far. THis is rather lovely https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/153789470#/?channel=RES_BUY
More practcal https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/153558617#/?channel=RES_BUY

I think I viewed that property 20 years ago. It's changed A LOT! As you say, great location. If you wanted to be in the middle of it all, it's a great spot. I think there's planning permission for the commercial unit at the end of the road, but the future of that unit has been under debate for decades so no idea if anything is actively happening. Would be worth buying to be 5 mins walk from the Everyman (as mentioned by a PP).

I am your age and just moving back to London because of all the opportunities there are! You will find plenty of 2/3 bed flats or small houses in your budget in southeast London. Where does your sister live?

There are lots of flats and small houses around Greenwich and Blackheath at the upper end of that budget, eg somewhere like this, which is a very friendly community: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/149890892#/?channel=RES_BUY

Think about how you’ll enjoy and thrive in a location not only now but in your 60s, your 70s, your 80s and beyond.

What will you need in years to come? Accessibility, services, hospitals … walkability, interesting places to visit to encourage people to come and stay with you (grandchildren one day?), culture, arts. Jobs? Potential dating pool? You may find London has more of things than a country town. I’d personally be more likely to move into a city than out of a city as I get older. Let us know what you choose and good luck!

Or how about a little period terraced house near Greenwich Park? https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/145157369#/?channel=RES_BUY

Converted coach house in the posh bit of Peckham? https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/151256162#/floorplan?activePlan=1&id=media9&channel=RES_BUY

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/153319451?utm_campaign=property-details&utm_content=buying&utm_medium=sharing&utm_source=copytoclipboard#/&channel=RES_BUY

Another big flat in Crystal Palace

@Londonmummy66 I love that less practical one!

OP please say you will consider staying in London and take a look, we're all rooting for you on this!

Your budget is a good one. I am also post divorce, I bought in a nice area in South London and could not imagine going out to a lonely commuter town, I've built up some nice single parent friends which I doubt would be so easy to do in the sticks.

Gidea Park or Upminster.
Great community, zone 6 so frequent and inexpensive trains, you'd get a nice house for your budget.

Stay in London. With your budget, it's very doable. I really can't emphasise this enough as someone in a more or less identical situation to you who has gone through the same thought processes post my long term relationship ending last year. I did lots of thinking and soul searching and realised that what matters to me are my existing social connections, time with my adult children (who live in London) and variety and options. If I were to leave, all of that would be harder to keep integrated into my life.

I saw someone upthread mentioned Bishop's Stortford. Which is indeed the kind of town you describe you're looking for. However, I grew up there and my sister still lives there and often suggests I move. But it would mean losing everything I value in London. I like the cinema - if I want to see a movie, I have 200 options. She has none (no cinema). I like museums - she has to get on a train to see an exhibition. I like live music - good luck with that. I decided I wanted to join a crafting group - there are two within walking distance of me. I like Parkrun - I can access four without getting in a car. The list goes on.

She does have easier access to countryside but still has to get in the car. London parks are incredible and I can get on a train if I want to get out into the country. If I wanted countryside, I wouldn't choose a commuter town - I'd be looking at properly rural.

My mother (who died last year) also lived in Stortford - as she aged, I realised how much harder her quality of life was than if she'd been in London. Public transport was really limited, and she wasn't close enough to services to access them easily on foot as she got older.

Thank you everyone. I am so, so grateful for all the thoughtful posts - including actually posting house/flat suggestions! It's true that I have the budget to stay in London although I really want to spend at the lower end and try and salvage my battered finances. I guess there's a part of me that feels like maybe I shouldn't be staying in the relative expense of London when it's just me and no commute for foreseeable future. But as has been pointed out, a lot of the places in commutable distance are not that much difference in property price-sense.

Your suggestions and experiences have really helped me clear up my thinking - I've been going round in circles for months in my head, in lists of pros/cons and with some very patient friends! I'll re-read through all your posts again carefully to do them justice as so much to digest , including around renting as a way to tease out realities.

I think, though, that I'm already edging towards staying in London, mostly because of the point that so many of you helpfully flagged - making it easier for my son to want to come visit. That is absolutely my top priority and your thoughts have helped to crystallise this. As well as all the things about London that make it a happy place for me, even in the last few rough years - all the culture on your doorstep, family and friends nearby (my sister is in Herne Hill).

What a lovely community this is - thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. I feel so much better about moving ahead...

Good luck OP! Sounds like a good plan, hope you find somewhere you love

Great to hear that OP! Some great options here, loving that cute coach house and several of the flats too. Crystal Palace is super handy for Herne Hill ;)

Good luck! Honestly I think somewhere like Crystal Palace or perhaps even Forest Hill or East Dulwich would really work. Look at future proofing it i.e. have enough room downstairs - and actually at your age - having a bathroom on the ground floor might be a blessing in disguise. You don't want to be clambering up and down those stairs as you get older. A two bed house would definitely be in budget in that part of South East London and you'd have plenty on your doorsteps.

When your son starts work, chances are it'll be in London, so he could stay with you, maybe pay a little rent.

That's one excellent reason to stay in London, and one that will keep me here for a few years if not ever (along with many other reasons - I bloody love London).

We’re SE London too (waves). It’s great! Loads to do, easy connections to central London or the coast. Stay here, @Margie12! We’re very near Crystal Palace, Forest Hill etc and would totally recommend. Best of luck

How about Oxted? Cute little town on edge of M25, direct line into London, not far from Sevenoaks and easy to get to Hove via M25 & M23 or by train. Not cheap, but your budget should be fine for a smaller house or flat there.

What about the Wimbledon area or surrounds? It’s an area I know well - lovely and great community. Easy to get to South East London, your son to get to Balham/Streatham/etc. and to get out to the countryside.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156689384

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156378152

Or bit of a random shout but this is nice, looks as though it’s out of London but still firmly in it, good commute/travel options and half your budget.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156387122