Moving out of London, post-Divorce. Suggestions of friendly towns

[Margie12]

Hi,
I'm in my early 50s, looking to move out of London post-divorce as just doesn't make financial sense to stretch my budget and buy in London again even though my networks are all here. I've got an 18 year old who'll be off to uni in the autumn which is when the family home we've been in for 16 years will be sold. I'm self-employed WFH but possibility of going back to employed eventually, which would mean office in waterloo/victoria area.

Budget of £550-700k for a flat or 2/3bed house. If anyone has any recommendations of a friendly town/village where I could build up a network through getting involved in activities, would love to know. Family-wise my sister is in SE London, so ideally somewhere that's in easy reach of her (Parents no longer with us; extended family are in Leeds and Wales so too far to relocate near them). Thinking about Sevenoaks and Hove as have good friends in both places.

Any suggestions, really welcome. All feels quite daunting but trying to think on the bright side of a new chapter!

Look at this lovely double fronted flat in Earlsfield with a good garden. Near Clapham.

And there are quite a few properties in Streatham within your budget.

You could easily afford a house in SE London with that budget however I'd head a little further out to save a bit of money but still easy to travel to Herne Hill or C London. Thinking somewhere like Charlton (SE7) or Lee (SE12), very good transport links and communities.

How about this in West Norwood? Good garden. Has a freshness about it, for starting life over. And Rightmove claims it is within a mile of Herne Hill.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/154011656

Lots of properties like this.

Don't come to Sevenoaks!
I live here under different circumstances but honestly it's too parochial.
There are limited opportunities to make new friends.

With that budget, I would stay in London, SE to be nearish to your DSis.

Keep your friend networks.
Make it easy for your Ds to keep his
Make it attractive for your Ds to stay with you in the Uni hols
London is a great place to grow older: so much free and cheap stuff to do, 60+ Oyster for fantastic public transport network, great access to hospitals. Great parks, and in due course at 60 your railcard gives you fantastic deals for getting out of London. (I am doing a day trip to Oxford by train in a couple of weeks for £7 return)

Haven't RTFT but I don't think you need to leave London. I think your son would be more likely to keep in touch and come to stay with you more often if you're within easy distance to his mates, and you sound like you've got a great network which you shouldn't leave behind.

Moving out to a commuter town would I think be much more of a culture shock than you're imagining - just my view with friends who've done it and regretted it. For your budget you could buy a 2 bed flat in Blackheath, for example, which is only 10 minutes on the train to London Bridge. A close colleague who's in her 50's and divorced has just bought a fab flat there and she absolutely loves it.

@Margie12 one thing I will say about the commuter towns too, is they are popular because they are convenient commuter towns and hence you have a lot of folk still commuting daily or 2 or 3 times a week - which means they often get on the train, go home to families and arent necessarily like yourself in having time on their hands in the day or wanting to go out early evening to things - - many years ago when we lived in St Albans that was my biggest issue - it was like tumbleweed in the week - day it night- ok weekends - we worked from home and this was 12 yearsago - it may have changed with homeworking somewhat but compared to London it felt very flat in the week and certainly was hard to meet people if you weren't in the school network anymore. I certainly think your son will thank you for staying in zones and socially I think would be better in your position in the right areas

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/153770855#/?channel=RES_BUY

3 minute walk from bus stop for buses direct to Streatham , Balham and Clapham. 4 mi Ute want station for Balham, Victoria, London Bridge.

Another nicer flat in West Norwood - big, three beds, parking, decent sized balcony, station not far, direct bus to Herne Hill, no distance at all to pick up a pint of milk! www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156663521#/?channel=RES_BUY

I would spend the next few weekends going to explore some of the areas people have mentioned on here and see where you think you might feel at home.

Thank you all! Feeling much more focused and positive about the move now. I think with all the other changes around the divorce and both my parents passing in the run-up, trying to be clear-minded on where to move to and what my life is going to look like when I'm an empty-nester, has all got a bit muddled!

So really appreciate all of these suggestions. Will focus on SE London and Streatham/Tooting/Wimbledon. And also go take a look at the other neighbourhoods mentioned too (e.g. Blackheath, Lee).

Thanks for everyone who has shared their experience of moving out of London or moving after divorce. Where it's worked out, really glad it has for you! Where it hasn't, yet, I really hope it does soon.

xx

Probably an unusual property, but this is in Tulse Hill/Dulwich borders - looks easy to maintain with patios, rather than a garden and is a freehold detached property:

OP if you don't mind bottom floor flats this one is in a wonderful location in the heart of Blackheath Villlage, 1 minute from the station and right by the Heath itself. It's at the bottom of your budget:
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/150560771

At 525k if you're open to retro architecture these flats overlook the duck pond and Blackheath and look lovely and light www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/155923484

Alternatively this on at 635k stunning location overlooking the Heath: www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/151634648

Xx

Thanks for all these suggestions! All look great. Quirky is fine by me, as is being near greenery. Live between three commons at the moment and having open space near by is definitely high on my list.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

OP - I'm really glad you're rethinking this as I have a number of friends who have moved out of London and they don't see that much of their uni kids as they are always back in town crashing on friends' floors etc. As you don't need to commute hopping across to the Furzedown area of Streatham would offer very good value as it is less well connected to trains and tubes but is still relatively accessible when you do want to go into town - most of the housing stock is Edwardian so you should be able to buy a solid 3 bed for the to end of your budget.

Thanks so much for sharing those experiences. Yes, I think that's exactly what would happen with my son, plus it's likely his dad will buy in London so he'd either end up there or crashing at his friends. And it's true I don't need to be by a tube station anymore so areas like Furzedown could be perfect.

Try anywhere on the express train Exeter to London. 3 hours to Waterloo.
Plus if your somewhere different you can invite friends and they will love to visit.
Do air bnb and find somewhere you fancy.

Agree with the poster who said Beckenham or Bromley. You could get a decent townhouse for that budget. Attractive, safe, friendly and loads going on. Great connections and still feels like proper London eg Crystal Palace or East Dulwich is just down the road. Look for the areas that aren't in catchment for the very popular secondaries (eg round Kent House) as you don't need that. There is a significant price differential.

You could definitely afford a nice house in SE London for that budget. Nice but cheaper areas because they’re zone 4/5 are New Eltham, Sidcup, Bromley, some parts of Bexleyheath and some parts of Chislehurst. Still very easy to get into town on the train (20 minutes to LB). You could also afford a nice flat in Blackheath, Greenwich or Charlton (even a small house).

Your 18 year old would find it easier to get jobs in London too post graduation (if that’s what they want).

Sevenoaks, Tunbridge Wells are nice places but definitely have a different vibe - more conservative and suburban and not a lot of diversity. If all of your support network is in SE London then it’s better for you to stay there, even if it’s a smaller pad than you’re used to.

Woolwich Arsenal, much nicer the Woolwich, or Tonbridge.

I'd look at Oxted, Horley, Redhill and Reigate. Good links to London and M25, your money goes further than Sevenoaks.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/158958110#/?channel=RES_BUY
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156280364#/?channel=RES_BUY
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/158758670#/?channel=RES_BUY
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156265262#/?channel=RES_BUY