Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

What point do you issue an ultimatum on a house purchase?

123 replies

Purplecarrots123 · 04/01/2025 18:39

Apologies in advance as my patience is wearing thin and this is a long saga….we offered on a house in July. We have still not exchanged and the trail of events is below, at what point do we make an ultimatum…..

Offered 5k off of the asking price in July. Was accepted. In early August they came back asking for more claiming another offer at asking price had come in despite it being off the market. We offered a little over the asking price to secure but did tell them no more so if the other party came back with more then we were out as there was a limit to what we were prepared to pay above asking price. They accepted our offer, we do wander if there was another offer….

We were told they wanted to move in October half term 2024, suited us, we powered on with conveyancing as between august and October with a small chain it would be squeaky but if everyone cracked on doable. We were also told initially they were very motivated to move. The truth couldn’t be further from that given we are still trundling….

Their solicitor failed to reply to ours for weeks. We then found out they had offered on a property with a chain with probate at the top. No issues but it stretched the timelines which we said we understood and kept with it based on the probate application had already been b submitted and was underway.

We then find out the top of the chain has collapsed and our vendors agree to break the chain. Confirmed in writing to our solicitor by theirs and also in writing to us by the agent.

4-5 weeks later after a lack of progress on their part we are then told we are now back in a chain as they have found somewhere. Discovered by what was written on legal forms, so our solicitor took it up with theirs as we had not been updated by anyone. we said understood them wanting to not do rented but again we wanted to keep moving and asked for reassurance the chain was closed to allow all to proceed.

We then had them refuse to make any effort to try complete before Christmas and were told by their estate agent in October to not push and tell our solicitor to go slow and not put any pressure on theirs as they didn’t want to complete before Christmas as it was too “distressing” for them. Realistically I think we could have done and our solicitor said a pre Christmas completion was perfectly doable.

We have since been dealing with them dragging their heels, withholding forms, forms filled in incorrectly, refusing a viewing (I wanted to see it again when the fixtures form came through as they asked for money for stuff and I couldn’t remember July tbh!) delaying again by coming back post fixtures and fittings agreement asking for more money for stuff like a bog standard ding dong doorbell and if we don’t pay for it or buy them a new one to take with them they’ll take it with them, give me strength (it’s not a ring doorbell before anyone asks 🤣).

Its now January, almost 7 months since our first offer was accepted - our solicitor has done everything she needs to on the sale of our flat and purchase of this house. We have not exchanged and no date set for exchange or completion and out solicitor is continuously pushing the rest of the chain for dates. At what point might we push to say exchange or we back out? I’m so utterly tired of being messed around, I feel like we have been patient and accommodating but I worry timings may just drag on and I can see a world where we lose our buyer too.

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 06/01/2025 13:20

Good Luck @Purplecarrots123

Taytoface · 06/01/2025 15:22

Oooh good luck. Qué sera, sera

purplesmiler · 06/01/2025 16:58

We had a similar experience with a purchase a couple of years ago and made the decision to walk away (after making it clear in writing twice that unless there was progress we would do so). We moved to rent and are just in the process of buying again. We didn't have renting in our plans but ultimately we felt we needed space from the buying process as we were feeling such disappointment. For us it has worked out but it is incredibly difficult to walk away from the home after so much emotional and financial investment.

Purplecarrots123 · 06/01/2025 18:30

purplesmiler · 06/01/2025 16:58

We had a similar experience with a purchase a couple of years ago and made the decision to walk away (after making it clear in writing twice that unless there was progress we would do so). We moved to rent and are just in the process of buying again. We didn't have renting in our plans but ultimately we felt we needed space from the buying process as we were feeling such disappointment. For us it has worked out but it is incredibly difficult to walk away from the home after so much emotional and financial investment.

absolutely this - it is emotionally, physically and financially exhausting. I never anticipated it would put pressure on us as a couple too. To walk away would be hard but I feel like after 7 months and all the quirks we have agreed to and faced we have been more than fair and patient and its time to think about ourselves. If this doesn't work, I think we too will take some space for a few months from this dreadful process.

OP posts:
purplesmiler · 07/01/2025 12:27

Purplecarrots123 · 06/01/2025 18:30

absolutely this - it is emotionally, physically and financially exhausting. I never anticipated it would put pressure on us as a couple too. To walk away would be hard but I feel like after 7 months and all the quirks we have agreed to and faced we have been more than fair and patient and its time to think about ourselves. If this doesn't work, I think we too will take some space for a few months from this dreadful process.

I really understand your feelings and its also the uncertainty continuing while you feel powerless. You may have already done this but I would advise be clear with your solicitors that you are reaching the point where you may have to walk away and ask for this to be formally passed on to the other parties. Within it give a time frame for a response too. Really hope you hear something soon.

Saschka · 07/01/2025 12:30

I’d have pulled out by now. If you are feeling generous, tell them you want to complete Feb half term, and exchange two weeks before. That gives them almost a month. If they are motivated to sell, they will. If they are dicking about, you’ll know.

Saschka · 07/01/2025 12:34

Oh and yes we did walk away from a purchase (we were ready to exchange in late October having offered in August, no chain, and the seller decided she was happy to exchange but not complete for another six months because she didn’t fancy emptying her loft in winter!)

We found our dream house in Jan, completed in May and are much happier here than we would have been in the first house (it needed a tonne of work).

AlohaRose · 07/01/2025 12:36

Have you heard anything back today? If not, it certainly doesn't sound positive for exchange.

DelphiniumBlue · 07/01/2025 12:37

Make an appointment to view the other house- if the agent won’t do it, contact vendor direct. If you decide you want it, put in an offer and tell them everyone you’ll exchange with whichever seller is ready to go first. That would mean committing more money for another survey, but the searches etc should already be available.

Tupster · 07/01/2025 12:52

I find the trouble with this process is you just feel so totally out of control of everything - sometimes it's really tempting to walk away just because it's feels like you at least get to have a choice over something. Definitely think viewing other houses is a good thing to do. It will be some positive action for you to take and will really help you assess how committed you are to the property you've been waiting for for so long.

SunshineAndFizz · 07/01/2025 12:55

Good luck OP - you e done the right thing.

Ladybadenbadenbaden · 07/01/2025 13:01

I worked at a solicitors where a buyer spanned out a purchase for literally years because they were using that as a bargaining chip to buy a cheaper place adjacent (all to do with right if access).

I'd put it back on the market.

Ladybadenbadenbaden · 07/01/2025 13:05

Sorry, wrong way around. I'd say it's either exchanged in the next fortnight or your pulling out. If they're not ready by now, they never will be (and I would be wary they're not still holding out for a better offer).

MrRobinsonsQuango · 07/01/2025 13:13

I think you are right to draw a line in the sand, they need to shit or get off the pot. Good luck with it all

good96 · 07/01/2025 15:14

Purplecarrots123 · 04/01/2025 18:39

Apologies in advance as my patience is wearing thin and this is a long saga….we offered on a house in July. We have still not exchanged and the trail of events is below, at what point do we make an ultimatum…..

Offered 5k off of the asking price in July. Was accepted. In early August they came back asking for more claiming another offer at asking price had come in despite it being off the market. We offered a little over the asking price to secure but did tell them no more so if the other party came back with more then we were out as there was a limit to what we were prepared to pay above asking price. They accepted our offer, we do wander if there was another offer….

We were told they wanted to move in October half term 2024, suited us, we powered on with conveyancing as between august and October with a small chain it would be squeaky but if everyone cracked on doable. We were also told initially they were very motivated to move. The truth couldn’t be further from that given we are still trundling….

Their solicitor failed to reply to ours for weeks. We then found out they had offered on a property with a chain with probate at the top. No issues but it stretched the timelines which we said we understood and kept with it based on the probate application had already been b submitted and was underway.

We then find out the top of the chain has collapsed and our vendors agree to break the chain. Confirmed in writing to our solicitor by theirs and also in writing to us by the agent.

4-5 weeks later after a lack of progress on their part we are then told we are now back in a chain as they have found somewhere. Discovered by what was written on legal forms, so our solicitor took it up with theirs as we had not been updated by anyone. we said understood them wanting to not do rented but again we wanted to keep moving and asked for reassurance the chain was closed to allow all to proceed.

We then had them refuse to make any effort to try complete before Christmas and were told by their estate agent in October to not push and tell our solicitor to go slow and not put any pressure on theirs as they didn’t want to complete before Christmas as it was too “distressing” for them. Realistically I think we could have done and our solicitor said a pre Christmas completion was perfectly doable.

We have since been dealing with them dragging their heels, withholding forms, forms filled in incorrectly, refusing a viewing (I wanted to see it again when the fixtures form came through as they asked for money for stuff and I couldn’t remember July tbh!) delaying again by coming back post fixtures and fittings agreement asking for more money for stuff like a bog standard ding dong doorbell and if we don’t pay for it or buy them a new one to take with them they’ll take it with them, give me strength (it’s not a ring doorbell before anyone asks 🤣).

Its now January, almost 7 months since our first offer was accepted - our solicitor has done everything she needs to on the sale of our flat and purchase of this house. We have not exchanged and no date set for exchange or completion and out solicitor is continuously pushing the rest of the chain for dates. At what point might we push to say exchange or we back out? I’m so utterly tired of being messed around, I feel like we have been patient and accommodating but I worry timings may just drag on and I can see a world where we lose our buyer too.

You have a lot of patience - unless I was absolutely so desperate for the property then I’d have pulled out by now. Just keeps going on and on….

Purplecarrots123 · 07/01/2025 15:52

Saschka · 07/01/2025 12:34

Oh and yes we did walk away from a purchase (we were ready to exchange in late October having offered in August, no chain, and the seller decided she was happy to exchange but not complete for another six months because she didn’t fancy emptying her loft in winter!)

We found our dream house in Jan, completed in May and are much happier here than we would have been in the first house (it needed a tonne of work).

what is wrong with these time wasters? Either people want to move or don't!!! I'm glad people have the time and money to waste on a process when they don't really have any intention of completing, because I don't!! If they didn't want to empty the loft in winter they should have thought about timings better! Give us strength!!!

OP posts:
Purplecarrots123 · 07/01/2025 15:54

Tupster · 07/01/2025 12:52

I find the trouble with this process is you just feel so totally out of control of everything - sometimes it's really tempting to walk away just because it's feels like you at least get to have a choice over something. Definitely think viewing other houses is a good thing to do. It will be some positive action for you to take and will really help you assess how committed you are to the property you've been waiting for for so long.

This! Its the lack of control of my own destiny when we are spending a huge amount of money! No matter how much the property is worth, 100k or 1m its a huge amount of money and the power is not in your hands often. I'm not a control freak but at this point I would take anything to feel vaguely involved in my own destiny!

OP posts:
Purplecarrots123 · 07/01/2025 16:03

So an update today, they have come to the table somewhat. They have offered to complete in early Feb, saying they won't do earlier as they need to pack.....I said that sounded like a them problem as everyone had to pack but I was grateful for a reply so was measured! Snag is, after talking to our solicitor about it after she did the conversations, it transpires our buyers mortgage offer expires at the end of Jan so we have gone back and said a late Jan completion and played hard ball to do right by us and our buyer. I'm annoyed as now we might have to wait even longer if our buyer needs to do a new mortgage application! Its a mess and not of our doing......I feel we are piggy in the middle with a potential time waster above and a risk below which has only just come to light and apparently our buyers solicitor takes an awfully long time to respond to things.......

Regardless, they have come to the table at least, now to work through the next 24 hours and see if we can make it all fall into place with their packing and our buyers mortgage and get everyone to actually talk!!

The viewings are still booked in as I don't trust this won't crumble at the last minute.....

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 07/01/2025 16:05

Purplecarrots123 · 07/01/2025 16:03

So an update today, they have come to the table somewhat. They have offered to complete in early Feb, saying they won't do earlier as they need to pack.....I said that sounded like a them problem as everyone had to pack but I was grateful for a reply so was measured! Snag is, after talking to our solicitor about it after she did the conversations, it transpires our buyers mortgage offer expires at the end of Jan so we have gone back and said a late Jan completion and played hard ball to do right by us and our buyer. I'm annoyed as now we might have to wait even longer if our buyer needs to do a new mortgage application! Its a mess and not of our doing......I feel we are piggy in the middle with a potential time waster above and a risk below which has only just come to light and apparently our buyers solicitor takes an awfully long time to respond to things.......

Regardless, they have come to the table at least, now to work through the next 24 hours and see if we can make it all fall into place with their packing and our buyers mortgage and get everyone to actually talk!!

The viewings are still booked in as I don't trust this won't crumble at the last minute.....

Edited

Why don't they just employ a removals company with a full packing service? That would make packing easy for them.

Purplecarrots123 · 07/01/2025 16:09

Twiglets1 · 07/01/2025 16:05

Why don't they just employ a removals company with a full packing service? That would make packing easy for them.

Tell me about it....apparently they are living away in the week.....my actual response was "I couldn't care less, don't make their problems ours, we've enough of our own". And then went back hard ball, end of Jan completion, exchange asap that is the deal, 24 hours to make it work, go.

OP posts:
MabelMaybe · 07/01/2025 16:12

Go and view that other property, and make sure the agent is aware that you've seen it and that you're actively considering it. This is ridiculous.

MotorwayDiva · 07/01/2025 16:12

If your buyers explain the situation to lender, they can usually extend the offer at least a few weeks.

DramaAlpaca · 07/01/2025 16:13

Best of luck, OP. That all sounds hugely stressful and a bit of a nightmare. FWIW I think you've done the right thing and I hope it works out for you.

Fordian · 07/01/2025 16:55

Oh, to have the Queensland, Australia system!

You view, you offer, you haggle (with the agent actually rushing from buyer to seller pre internet, getting each offer/counter offer initialled).

You agree, you both sign a contract, and, barring a mutually agreed decision to disregard it, a 10 day cooling off period and bam. Deposit paid, everyone is locked in to an agreed date, often 2-3 months hence, maybe dependent on the survey (which you can organise in a couple of days, hence the 10 days).

Pulling out invokes ever greater penalties so people don't. None of the bollocks you're talking about.

Brits have said 'but what if your chain collapses? Well, it can't if everyone is locked in!

Snapncrackle · 07/01/2025 17:00

If they have house buying insurance it you pull out they will get back any fees they have paid out minus there excess so it could be that they are thinking up petty excuses to get you to pull out

Swipe left for the next trending thread