Fantasise with me… about villages

[Lavenderfarmcottage]

I am a single Mum with a child aged 8. We live in Australia and my child doesn’t love seeing his Dad that much - it’s a chore and that’s a whole other story. We also have very little family here on my side at all. I feel quite isolated & have had tragic things happen beee.

I often dream of moving to Europe or the UK. I love the English countryside and the first village I ever saw near Bath made me want to cry it was so beautiful.

My secret dream is to move there when my son is 13 and starting secondary.

I have an EU and Aussie passport. I could afford a home that was around 450,000 pounds.

I would want to send my child to a good school.

We would want to live somewhere with kayaking, good walks and friendly people etc.

Is this dream possible ?

I grew up in a (non-UK) village and loved it. Having moved around the workd a fair bit and spent a decade living in London, we moved to a midland village with our young child — chocolate-box pretty, thatched cottages, Saxon church, prosperous inhabitants, adorable Victorian village school, lots going on.

It’s the only place I have ever lived that made me actively miserable because it was so xenophobic and insular.

Step very carefully.

They do look pretty but my parents live just outside a rural village. It would be my kids idea of torture if I moved us there. Minimal public transport (meaning they could not be independent), very few takeaways and bad phone signal!

Choose location carefully!

I live in a village about 45 minutes from Bath with two primary school aged children. I love it lovely village school with a friendly community. Forest right on our doorstep for walking the dog.

We would want to live somewhere with kayaking, good walks and friendly people etc.

With your budget and criteria I'd be looking around Kendal, Cockermouth, Appleby or Penrith in Cumbria.

The villages where I live in South Yorkshire might fit your bill... paddlesports very popular, the school is lovely and we've been made very welcome.

Since Brexit you'll probably need to come on a work visa with EU and Aussie passports
So location of the village may be crucial for work opportunities.

Australian country towns can be the same - this is really insightful, thankyou. The problem is that I am a country girl.

How does class work in the UK. Does it matter as much as people say ? Would we be considered outsiders for being Aussies ? Or disadvantaged because if it ?

Secondary school starts at 11 in the uk just fyi

With an EU passport it will be easier for you to move somewhere in the EU rather than UK. Many European countries are full of stunning villages. In France, for example, they differ massively in "character"- there are moribund, insular villages, there are sociable and inclusive villages and everything in between. Best to get a proper feel for somewhere before you buy.

Children start secondary school at 11 not 13 in England. No one would care about you being Australian. But have you thought about our bad weather? The long winters are hard.

I agree. Having lived in the Cotswolds unless you're 5th generation or have so much money like the Beckhams to not give a fuck, you'll always be an outsider. I now live near the sea in South Wales.

I think you'd be an outsider (sorry) and that single mothers tend to be judged and shunned in insular, right wing villages and small towns. Perhaps less of a problem if your DC are too old for you to do the school run, and thus no need to run the gauntlet of smug housewives twice a day. It might be better to live on the edge of a city near to the countryside. More interest and diversity, kess curtain twitching and nasty gossip.

We have two and three tier systems here in the North East of England, so some kids start high school at 11, and others at 13.

The villages where I live are lovely and would fit your bill. They are also very inclusive. We have kids at our middle school who have arrived in the past couple of years from Ukraine, Hong Kong and Belgium and settled well. The North East is a very friendly place. If you want to Google, then Holywell village and Earsdon in North Tyneside are particularly nice. Both are about a mile from the coast. Not many properties come up for sale in Earsdon, mind.

Class always has been and remains an enormously important part of the British psyche. Just look at how many MN threads there are about it if you're wondering if navel gazing about class is still our national obsession (that and the weather) 😂. Too complex too explain in a MN post what it's all about but if you're really interested Kate Fox's book Watching the English is a good read and although 20 years old now still relevant today. On the plus side, as a 'foreigner' (yes, I'm afraid as an Aussie you will very much be thought of as foreign in a village setting) you get to be largely exempt from a lot of the class/snobbery nonsense as people will struggle to 'code' you based on class so you can engage with it as much or as little as you like. It won't be a disadvantage in important things like school admissions or academia, probably not for jobs either providing you have the right to work. Socially it might be somewhat a disadvantage as villages and village people can be quite insular and not always welcoming to newcomers but that would be the same for say someone from the nearest big city moving to the village in most cases, 50 miles or 5000 miles is much the same in these little rural places 😅

I live in an east midlands village....extremely rural in fact. It's very friendly round here and you would be welcomed rather than classed as an outsider. However, there's little kayaking to be done and the winters are long and muddy. I'm very outdoorsy but it isn't like Australia outdoors, it's muddy and wet for 2/3rds of the year!

An EU passport isn't worth much on the UK. You can only stay for 180 days due to Brexit.

Secondary school starts at 11 in most places here.

I'd live further south so that the weather isn't so much of a shock. The North is beautiful but colder. The warmest and driest weather is the east so Suffolk, Norfolk.

I live in the South West by the sea, chocolate box village. There are certainly lots of single mothers here, I've never heard anyone be judged for it as someone suggested would be the case! There are people from New Zealand here who are a huge part of the local community. I think if you make an effort you are accepted.

I would advise coming over here and spending at least 6 weeks exploring areas and getting a feel for what you want.

We've been trying to relocate to the countryside for the past year a village, and it's been incredibly competitive. Houses typically only go on the market after someone passes away, and they’re often priced at £400k or more, despite being in disrepair—no floors and falling apart. We've been gazumped multiple times, and securing a nursery place took us eight months. Many sellers prefer cash-only offers or have a specific type of buyer in mind (usually elderly couples), and estate agents often prioritize showing properties to their friends first. Estate agents also do extra checks, they want evidence of funds and that your in a good position to move quickly. This is what I mean by competitive. I know this sounds negative, but I wanted to be honest with you as someone who’s experiencing it firsthand. Despite the challenges, we won't give up because this is our dream, but I imagine it will be even harder for you if you’re not physically present.

I grew up in a village in the South West about 45 minutes from Bath and hated it, couldn't get anywhere, public transport was non existent and there was nothing for kids to do. Job opportunities were slim unless you were willing to commute 45+ minutes.
I now live in a small town in the same area, some of the same problems with transport and jobs but at least there are clubs, pubs, shops etc. Housing is expensive though.
I would disagree with pp about being included though, lots of different nationalities live here and it's very friendly and inclusive.

13 is a really bad age to move to a village. It is really limiting on freedom, and you have to be a parent taxi a lot.

I cannot imagine you'd be considered an 'outsider' for being Australian. Just about every Brit has relatives in Oz.

Where we live (rural Cumbria) there are one or two daft old shitters on Facebook who consider anyone not born within 5 miles of where they happen to live an "Offcomer".

We moved here from London and we've been made to feel nothing but welcome. There's nothing exotic about you if you weren't born in Cumbria. It simply isn't an issue. It isn't 1928.

What really gets the locals backs up is if you buy a holiday home and leave it empty for most of the year, or park across a farm gate.

I live in the south of the Lake District and there are lots of kayaking opportunities, lots of footpaths, lovely countryside and reasonable transport connections if you choose location carefully. There are plenty of people from overseas working in tourism jobs so you wouldn't be unusual.

Generally people here are outdoorsy - there's a culture of hiking, biking, climbing, fell running and watersports. House prices are high for north west England though.

You’d be fine in East Riding. Lots of lovely villages around Beverley or you could go closer towards York.

Don't do it!
Rural living isn't all it's cracked up to be especially as a single parent. You will need to drive everywhere (and your child will want lifts).
Hardly anywhere to walk as no footpaths alongside busy country roads.
Muck spreading 🤢
Everyone knows your business.
A supermarket shop needs to be planned in, can't just walk there.
There are bright LED security lights everywhere so no nice dark skies.

I desperately want to move to a town as you can tell!

Oh and minimal public transport