Buyer demanding move date

[Britanix]

We were due to move in August but bottom of the chains buyers pulled out , they found a new buyer in September so chain was back on. During this time the house we are buying lost the one they wanted, they had an offer accepted early October - we are now part of an 11 house chain !!
Yesterday our buyer said she needs to be in by the end of November or she's pulling out , clearly this is not feasible. It turns out she has always wanted this but we have never been told , we have also found out her day of move needs to be the same day as her ex husbands effectively meaning that house has two chains. Apparently the latest her and ex can move is 10 Dec which still feels unfeasible considering the chain only reset in October .
To add to the stress I'm pregnant meant to be on bed rest with a short cervix and other issues I'm in the hospital every week, we are relocating over 3 hours away and also have to move my DS school he's in reception . Obviously if we had moved August we wouldn't have had these problems.

I feel like just pulling the whole thing our buyer has told us we will have to move in with family or rented which we can't do . I feel like pulling the whole thing , the only thing stopping me is the house we are buying and the person selling it is doing all she can.
Has anyone been in such a long chain and it moved quickly ?
Just here for a rant really.

Ooh - how stressful. Can your EA speak to the buyer and see if a work around can be found if the date she wants isn't achievable? It needs to be pointed out you didn't know the date. What about breaking the chain? Is that feasible for anyone?

Sounds rubbish! Two of my friends have recently broken the chain to continue with their house sale while they wait for their purchase to complete. They moved into a holiday let until they got the keys for their new house. It seems its an unfortunate but common thing right now.
I'm not sure you can do anything other than break the chain yourself and get your house sold and wait for your new house to complete but like you say, you have some bigger complications! It's either that or pull out completely from your house sale. I hope you manage to find a way forward that works for you.
Selling and buying houses is such a horrible business!

The buyer now knows we weren't told the date, apparently her EA didn't know she was in a chain they just thought her ex husband was , I mean i have no idea how . So the houses below her and his side of the chain have apparently all been working to the end of Nov.
We wont move/rent as the risk we take is the house we are buying falling through for whatever reason (will still be a long chain) and we are stuck in a house we don't want with a newborn baby and we have disrupted my sons education, the city we are moving to the rental market is nuts and we would struggle anyway . We have no family with room for us indefinitely, and when the baby arrives I really want to feel settled. I'm also meant to have 0 stress currently so this would add to it.
If our buyer can't be flexible I think we will pull and stay put for a few years, well it sounds like she will pull first but then she will be back to square one. She is refusing/can't to go into rented .I'm annoyed as we got an offer for 20k over hers a few days after we accepted her offer, but stuck with her as we felt mean , and we also didn't go back on the market for her when the chain fell through. Learnt my lesson !

Wow OP, no wonder you're stressed. 11 house chain is mad. I think your buyer should be the one going into rental, not you. In you shoes I think I would also stay put and reassess later, if she does pull out.

I know and that 11 doesn't include her ex husband and however long his chain is , they need to go on the same day we had no idea !
I'm glad you agree i couldn't figure out if I was been unreasonable but there is nothing we can do .

Who is reasonable or unreasonable here doesn’t really matter. The real question is do you want to keep the chain intact or not.

Can you split the pain? ie negotiate with the person selling their house to you and say you’ll go into rental for a maximum of two months to keep the chain intact, but in return they have to exchange now and commit to a completion date no later than end-Jan, even if that means they have to go into a rental themselves for a bit. That way you’re not in an indefinite holding period but your chain stays intact.

We aren't going into rented , we wont find a rental for a reasonable price where we are moving for 2 months will be a min six or an overpriced holiday type let , in six months i will be on mat leave and we cannot afford a mortgage and rent. If our buyer wants to go into rented she can , they are the one causing the issues and who have not communicated.

I need to keep my stress levels down so if the chain falls apart so be it. We are happy to stay put for a few years if needed

I don’t think that either you or your buyer are being unreasonable, you’re both trapped by difficult circumstances that neither of you have full control of. Your original plans for August were scuppered by other people, now she absolutely has to be out of her house in a few weeks (if she’s divorcing her ex isn’t going to be flexible towards her), and you can’t be certain that you can complete by then.

It’s no one’s fault. I think that given your high-risk pregnancy, it might be better to stay put. 💐

Would it be so bad to move into a rental for a few months to not let everyone down? If so don't. And sell next year when the baby is born and you can be more comfortable with the situation

I think your right @BruFord

@Doggymummar when my health is at risk and that of my babies, I do think its bad to uproot twice yes, my Consulants have advised me multiple times against moving but i have gone ahead as i dont want to let people down the short cervix is just one of the issues . It's not us causing the problems due to late communication (15 days before the date they want to move), so by not agreeing to the buyers demands we are not letting anyone down . They can always go into rental until the rest of chain is ready , but they will not.

@Britanix Yes, your top priority is your own and your baby’s health. Ultimately, that’s more important than anything. If staying put is best for you health-wise, do that.

I'm not sure why this is all on you- if your buyer has the deadline of end of November, they can go into rented, surely? It's not your job to solve their problem. I'd give the problem back to your buyer to solve for themselves.

She’s the one who set a deadline and failed to communicate it. She’s the one who needs to move that day. So she’s the one who needs to go into rented.

If she pulls her offer - she’s going to have to go into temporary accommodation anyway as she’s still got to move then and she’ll still have nowhere to move to.

Don’t take this stress on yourself OP. You need to focus on you and your baby’s health. That is your only priority. If your buyer wants to throw a tantrum that’s on her. Just send the message back that you are not in a position to break the chain so if she wants your house she’s going to have to do so herself, and you’re not discussing it further.

Oh gosh what a stress. I'm looking to move and this is what I fear - I've also looked at rented and it would be another £300 a month more than what my mortgage is and just not affordable. I would stay put for another couple of years (that's my plan if my current plan falls through) unless the house you were buying is your dream forever home never likely to come in the market again?

It sounds like there's not much you can do as everything with your buyer and seller is in place. The issues are elsewhere in the chain.

I think all you can do is communicate up that if completion doesn't happen by X date then you will lose your buyer. If you're resolved that you won't be looking for a new one, say that also.

Make your buyer aware of the issues higher up the chain which means X date will be unlikely. I would also ask her to confirm that everyone below her in the chain is clear they are working towards that date. She sounds a bit dim.

Then wait and hope everyone gets their act together.

Yesterday our buyer said she needs to be in by the end of November or she's pulling out

And doing what? She won't find somewhere else she can move into by the end of the month.

our buyer has told us we will have to move in with family or rented which we can't do

She has the deadline. She can rent. That's what she'll be doing from the end of November if she pulls out now anyway (assuming this date has come about because that’s when her ex is completing - are they selling their joint house and buying separately?)

Or indeed the buyer herself could move into rental as she is the one in the situation where SHE has to move out on a certain date not the OP. The buyer can "rent or move in with family" just as she has suggested OP should!

In your shoes, I'd pull out and let the chain collapse. Don't try and please other people, your own health and that of your baby must be priority.
You can have a last conversation with your buyer... no, we can't move on x date due to others in the chain. No we are not able to rent short term. Either you wait and let things take it's course or we won't sell to you
Yes, it's a pain to start again in 9-12 months, but in years to come, you'll look back on this and know you have done the right decision.

Realistically what is she going to do if she pulls out? She's not going to complete with another house in 2 weeks so she'll have to go in to rented/family just as she's suggested you do 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'd call her bluff, maybe she will
pull out or maybe she's just seeing if you'll go to the expense/stress of rented so she doesn't have to!

If you still want the move to go ahead, I'd tell her it's not happening (and she should never have given you that amount of notice anyway!) so to do as she pleases. You can't control what decision she makes so I'd leave her to it and then make your own decisions off the back of what she does.

Just ride it out. Let her pull out when her demands aren't met - I bet she won't!

I would pass it over to your husband to deal with and just concentrate on your health. It will complete or not, there's nothing you can do. The agents should be managing the chain.

Your buyer is the one with a deadline and who hasn't communicated - she should have checked the EA etc was passing on the information about the date. She needs to be the one to go into rental or move in with family.

Ultimately, she doesn't have much choice. She won't find anywhere else to buy and get to completion in that timeframe so either she remains your buyer and goes into rental or she pulls out of the purchase and goes into rental. If she does the latter she'll be right back at the beginning of the process again.

I've done the break chain thing and gone into rental. It was worth it in our circumstances but it was extremely stressful and expensive. In your circumstances there is no way I'd consider it!

Good luck!

Oooof, OP. It's quite selfish of them to be pushing you to break the chain given your circumstances. Its really your buyer who should since they have the most complicated move.
3 years ago I was pushed to break the chain. It was horrible. Our home was sold, the pushy family moved in and DC and I landed in a holiday let for what we were promised would be 6 weeks. That turned into 13 hellish weeks at the mercy of very slow chain with a new build at the top.
I'd just say no and pull out. They've messed you about enough.

It maybe a large chain, but sounds like there's only two parties that are new to the chain, who should certainly have things moving. Obviously there can be major hiccups in terms of missing paperwork, but if everything is generally ok they should have been able to complete within 6-7 weeks. I'd speak to your agents and solicitor, explain your buyer wants a move date within 3-4 weeks and ask them to pass along the chain in order to agree a date. That way, everyone knows the position. Also, get back to your buyer and tell her you're onboard but they need to shake the chain up as well.

That’s to much, ime if there’s a divorce in a chain it’s a not simple at all
i would pull out of that mess and re market the property
your agent needs to work to find a buyer in a
better position .
going into rented is not the solution in such a huge chain

It’s her deadline and it’s just not possible for you; it looks like you’ve been misled to agree the sale to her. Try not to get stressed over renting as that won’t be happening and is in your control.
Just state your position and leave it to the agents and your solicitors; if you weren’t expecting then I’d consider putting it back on the market with a different agent.