Firstly, I hate "virtual tours" that are just a slideshow of the photos - pointless (even before you factor in the lady having a cuppa)!
The Matterport virtual tour link isn't working (for me at least).
Interestingly, the video tour on this did show the garden without the massive gazebo covering which I think would be better. It's difficult to tell which way the garden faces, but if they could take photos at a time when most of the garden wasn't in shadow, it would be better.
I agree with re-presenting the dining room as a dining room, but if they need the office, I'd be reluctant to say turn bedroom 4 into the office, as it's useful to people to see that it is useable as a single bedroom. Maybe just get rid of the sofa in there?
Otherwise I think it's fine. Some of the rooms feel a bit small, as does the garden, but there's not anything they can do about that. It looks like a nice family home.
If I was being really picky - what's the flooring in the bathrooms? It looks like carpet in the photos? The main bathroom has marks on the floor in front of the loo and sick, which doesn't look great.
The main bathroom also doesn't have a shower in it? If you're selling to a house with a family, the kids are not going to want to have to traipse through the master bedroom to use the en-suite shower.
I always look at the floorplan first and spent far too long trying to figure out where bedroom 4 was as I could only see 1, 2, 3 and 5!
At the price they are battling with a lot of brand new build homes, so competition is tough. When you do a Rightmove search for KY1 their house is almost hidden in amongst a long list of brand new 4 bedroomed houses for the same/similar price.