Dream home or good home?

[Cheechee12345]

So, last week we put an offer on a house we really like and is 15 minutes away from work. But our dream house has come up for sale, however it is 35 minutes away from work (with no traffic).

The dream house does need a lot of work but it is currently listed at £100,000 less than what we offered on the first house. Our offer hasn't yet been accepted on the first house, but it is looking hopeful from the estate agents reaction.

So what do we do? My husband thinks I'm being ridiculous, and we should just go for the first house as it's so close to work and that is the main reason we are moving (we're currently 50 minutes away from work without traffic, most days it's an hour). But I can't shake the feeling that this is our only chance to buy our dream home and I'll regret it if we don't at least try.

Any thoughts? What would you do?

How long would the commute take? How many days a week? Are you both happy to spend that time travelling?

I don’t see the point of moving and increasing your mortgage for the shorter commute, 1 hour commute is long and tiring but entirely normal. You also might change jobs and not need to commute to that area. I do see the point of moving if that is your dream house though. If the vendors haven’t accepted your offer after a week I’d have no guilt offering on something else, especially if it was £100k less.

Probably 40 minutes each way, at least 3 days a week, but likely to be more often to be honest. We initially agreed a 30 min maximum distance from work is what we'd be happy with, so this is over that.

I’d always go for the dream home - a 30 or 40 minute commute isn’t much really!

£100k less is big saving. I am assuming the work to be done is not too major and not use the £100k saving. Are you upsizing at the same time as trying to reduce your commute? I think I would go for your dream house.

It is very important for us to be closer to work, it may not be for you but it is for us, hence why we're moving. And that's why we are so torn. If we could have 1.5hrs back a day, we would have so much more time together and we could stress less about finding childcare around school hours.

My husband is the director of a very niche company and something catastrophic would have to happen for him not to work there anymore.

We've talked about moving closer to his work for years but never bothered. I now work 3 minutes away from him and so it just makes sense for us to be closer.

Our mortgage will be increasing, but the value of the house we will be buying will be a similar value to our current home so that's not really an issue either.

We won't be upsizing as we're happy with the size of our home but we will be moving from a new build to a character property.

The dream home needs around £80,000 worth of work, with £50k immediately for a new roof.

Yeah, it's better than an hour! But we'd set ourselves a limit of 30 minutes, and my husband is set on that 😅

Years ago OP I had a similar commute to you. A job then became available within walking distance to where I was living. I was lucky enough to get that job and it honestly revolutionised my life. I had so much more time with my DS and as a single parent it was so much easier with regards to childcare. Driving anywhere or getting public transport is so fraught nowadays. I think reducing your commute is really sensible. I don’t really believe ‘dream houses’ exist anyway but that’s just me. There’s always a compromise to be made.

If you're not actually in the house as much as you'd like, is it still worth it?

Yeah, it's honestly exhausting and we don't really get to spend time together in the week.

And I hate eating dinner at 9pm too!

Well, choose the house closer to work then if it’s that important to you.

@CombatLingerie i couldn’t agree more, dh and I both now live under 3 miles from our workplaces (2 miles for me, 3 for him) and it’s honestly been life changing. I’ve actually turned down a couple of job offers who are offering considerably higher salaries but are 30-40 min commutes. Being able to drop the kids at school for school start and still being at my desk by 9, but still being home by 5:15 has really made such a difference to the day to day. We have 2 kids aged 8 and 4 and are able to have dinner as a family every night which is really important to us both.

We've talked about moving closer to his work for years but never bothered. I now work 3 minutes away from him and so it just makes sense for us to be closer.

It makes sense for the moment while you have this job but presumably you’re not a director of a niche company and so more likely to change your job than he is? Are you always going to be 3 minutes away from his work? You can’t guarantee your work won’t move the office or make redundancies? I think you risk trapping yourself in a job due to logistics for childcare with a house that’s just fine. Are you the one doing the majority of the pick ups and drop offs?

What about the actual areas for your kids? Does one offer better schools, better connected and activities? Not just for the next few years but to see them through the teen years, coming home from university.

I would definitely choose the dream home. In the days when I commuted to work on a daily basis, I would have killed for a 40 minute journey - in most of my jobs I had a journey of about 90 minutes each way.

What are the differences between the houses apart from location?

Have you actually been and viewed the dream house?

Would you have access to funds to do the second house up? Do you have enough equity to withhold some to put towards the work?

Why is it better than the first house?

Then you’ve answered your own question. You say moving closer to work is very important. So buy the one 15 mins away from work.

When you say dream house do you mean that it ticks all the boxes of what your dream house would be or do you mean that you've driven past and lusted after that exact house for years?

Though I’m not sure why you’re eating dinner at 9pm. If it was a 40 min commute and you finish work at 5 you’d be home before 6. Get a slow cooker and eat by 6:30. 🤷‍♀️.

Location is always better in my opinion. I lived in a brilliant house in the wrong place for years. Then we moved to a crap house in the right place for several more years. I now have the ideal apartment in even more brilliant location as in its even closer to the things than the crap house.

A short commute is very important to me. Years ago it was an hour each way. Now it's 10 mins door to door. Wouldn't change that for anything.

Ultimately OP you made an agreement with your DH so if he's not willing to compromise then it's not an option anyway.

What makes it a dream house? Genuinely curious.

Does the £80k include any contingency ? Invariably with renovations costs will be higher as there will be the unknown unknowns until the work actually starts so works could end up much closer to the £100k - is that a comfortable place financially or is the £100k pushing your budget to its max ? You and DH will know if it works financially - have you set yourself a time limit on making it your dream home v what you could move into the good home ?

A friend ended up living in a state of perpetual building works for almost 10 years as things dragged on to create her dream home and by the time it was finished needless to say it wasn’t her dream any more !

You can't settle or love another house if this is your dream home. If it was too far commute then wouldn't be a dream home. Why would you choose the other one ?

Thank you everyone, I don't have time to reply to everyone now but appreciate all the responses.

It's alot to think about, and we've still not made a decision but I'm sure it'll come to us at some point this week. Or someone will buy it and then it won't be a choice anymore.