I think my house purchase is going to fall through because of gifted deposit

[Firstimebuyer3]

I posted a few days ago regarding my situation but hid the thread and now I can't find it, sorry!

Anyway, what I thought was a great thing and was suppose to help me is now slowly turning into a living nightmare.

My dad who was absent for most of my life (at least 25 years, I'm 28 now) and didn't contribute a penny towards me growing up gifted me £60,000 between 2022-2024 (45k in 2022 and 15k at the beginning of this year). I didn't ask for the money fyi. He said he didn't want it back and wanted me to use it for something good. I thought this was his way of trying to make up for the past and help me with my future. I do work full time and have rented for 8 years on my own so saving has been incredibly difficult just on 1 income.

He's an alcoholic, controlling, loves to argue with people and doesn't like it when people stick up for themselves. He's been married 4 times and his current wife doesn't like me. My siblings have all cut him off. I've tried my very best to leave the past behind and build a relationship with him but he's made it extremely difficult and pretty much just slags my mum off every time I see him. This isn't relevant I know but I just want to give you all an idea of the type of person that I'm dealing with. He's unpredictable at the best of times and just lives in the past.

Anyway, both my mortgage advisor and solicitor made it clear that they would need certain documents (gifted deposit letter and bank statements) from him so I could proceed with the purchase. I spoke to him yesterday and explained that I wouldn't be able to buy the house without some involvement from him and that if he wasn't happy to do it, to please say now so I don't waste peoples time and incur fees.

He said he would do it and told me to stop pestering him (not pestering, asked once) and after all of that, the solicitor text him today with a link to download an app to verify his details and connect his bank account and he's kicked off about it and said he doesn't have time to download a stupid app. I also had to do the same thing this morning and it took me 5 minutes btw. He sent me a shitty text and told me to ask the solicitor to ring or email him. I spoke to the solicitor and she said she would email him but that he will have to do it eventually. She's not particularly worried about the £45,000 because it's been in my account for over 2 years but said that we'll have to account for the £15,000 as it was a recent payment. My mortgage advisor sent him the deposit gift letter today and hasn't heard back yet, but told me not to worry because I'm not actually using the 15k towards the deposit (only 42.5) and the 45k will cover that and he might be able to say it's savings if he won't sign the form.

I'm not sure if the solicitor will be able to do the same thing and I'm trying not to pester her but I'm massively panicking here. My anxiety has hit the roof today and I actually think I'm going to lose my house purchase because of my own parent?!! I just can't believe all of this in the hands of my dad and whether or not he wants to play ball. What am I suppose to do here? Does this mean I'll never be able to buy my own house?

I've asked him countless times if he wants the money back and he's said no so I have no idea what his issue is. I thought he would be happy I'm using it for something good and not pissing it all up the wall!!! It's definitely legitimate funds btw as he's had his own business for over 30 years. I honestly think it's just his way of controlling me, the situation and making things difficult. This process is already stressful as it is and now my own parent is making it harder for me. Please please give me some advice. I know I need to speak to the solicitor properly but I'm so anxious and upset over this. This is suppose to be a happy time for me but I'm so worried it will all be taken away from me because of someone else.

How recent does something have to be exactly for them to question it?

You say 2 years is fine, so will a few more weeks or a month get you over the line for this recent one?

Maybe just explain to him why they want all the details, money laundering laws etc. Be persistent and hopefully it will pay off.

Is he just unable to access the app? Sometimes technology can be scary and people feel stupid. My parents would struggle with this and with email..

Could you take him into the solicitors to sign the paperwork?

We had to sign a letter when we gifted an amount to our son re deposit.

I'd get a letter go round and have a chat with him explaining it. Then ask him to sign the letter.

To be fair the app sounds confusing. It sounds like that is what your solicitor uses. My mum would not be okay downloading an app.

They just need a signed letter to say its a gifted deposit I think. I would just stay calm, be clear and specific if you need to interact with him, break it down as much as possible.

Buying a home was the most stressful thing I had done and completely understand has heightened emotional significance due to your relationship with your Dad. You will get there.

This.

I was very uncomfortable when the solicitor send me a text with a link to an app. I presumed it was some sort of scam at first. It just isn't how most people do business.

It sounds like you won't need his involvement anyway, since the 45k has been in your account for 2+ years? And you don't need thr 15k for the purchase? Deep breaths. It'll be OK.

Who’s your mortgage provider? Could you change to a different one?

I’m with First Direct. My dad gifted some money towards our first house. My bank sent me a letter confirming the transfer for some reason and my solicitor was happy with that and a gifted deposit letter - no statements or apps involved.

Edited to add: my parents do not have smartphones and could not have downloaded an app. This can’t be that unusual.

If he'll sign a letter is that not sufficient? I imagine there would be many people unable or unwilling to download an app and am sure the solicitor must have an alternative.

Hello,

I have gone through the sending of bank statements to my solicitors (previously known to me), invoices etc to trace where my savings had come from.

However, given that you and your dad don't have a good relationship, I am not surprised he might simply be unhappy to send his bank statements to YOUR solicitors. I know if I was worth that much so that I can gift £60K just like that in a space of 2 years, I would not be happy nor jumping at the request to send my bank statement to the solicitor of a recipient, no matter that I have absolutely nothing to hide or lose and I work in law.

Your options are:
1.Ask your solicitors if there is another way dad can do this- I sent my relevant docs by email. So the fact that this firm of solicitors ONLY uses an app, is not your dad's problem if he is uncomfortable with this tech, amongst privacy.
2.Find another solicitors- different solicitors deal with this differently
3,Or, can dad go to his own solicitors whom he is comforfortaile checking his bank statement and then send a declaration through his solicitor to your solicitor? Of course your solicitor can choose not to accept this, at which point you can change solicitors. I protect my privacy and this is what I will request as the person who gifted the money. Only recently we have a thread of a couple earning lots of money who used a family mortgage broker who went to tell whole family how much they earn and now the atmosphere is ruined and they are expected to pay for others. What if you discover dad is worth millions? Some people would then ask for more.

Whatever you do, do not panic and do not harass dad. You said yesterday, today- give him time- maybe he is busy. I like to respond to these important but unexpected requests when I have made time- usually in 2 to 3 days.

I can't really see what the problem is. You've been given money and you can use £45K of that for your purchase. With regard to the £15K, the solicitors are just concerned about money laundering but if your difficult and uncooperative df doesn't want to be bothered with it, then just wait until the solicitors agree that they can use it. Don't give the money back. It was given to you. Title has passed. It's yours.

Unfortunately the £15K is relevant as it is what is making OP afford to buy using the -£45K linked to same person. She will use it to buy furniture etc etc and maybe pay initial mortgage instalments with it- this is all part of property purchasing (sols duty) hence mortgage broker is only concerned with the 45K as- they have separate duties. Take it this way, unless OP has own significant savings from her job, say 10K-15K independent of this sum (15K gift), any solicitor worth his salt will feel duty bound to look fully.

I spoke to the solicitor and she said she would email him but that he will have to do it eventually. She's not particularly worried about the £45,000 because it's been in my account for over 2 years but said that we'll have to account for the £15,000 as it was a recent payment. My mortgage advisor sent him the deposit gift letter today and hasn't heard back yet, but told me not to worry because I'm not actually using the 15k towards the deposit (only 42.5) and the 45k will cover that and he might be able to say it's savings if he won't sign the form.
It sounds like it isn't actually a problem. Youve had the deposit for over two years and are not using the £15k. Sounds like youd be better not involving him if you can.

Sounds like it’s not a problem as you’re not using the money from
the less than two year period for the deposit - so I wouldn’t panic. I’d forward an email from the mortgage advisor to the solicitor saying that you understand that the lender doesn’t need it as the money you are using for the deposit has not been gifted in the last two years and go from there

This. There’s not a chance in hell my parents would be sending there bank statements anywhere.

I thought you only needed a signed letter?

Speak to the solicitor about what alternatives they have to the app. The apps are a relatively new way of them meeting their anti money-laundering obligations, and hopefully they will have an alternative for people who struggle with technology. If she refuses you could ask to speak to someone more senior.

I had to do this too. I don't think I needed an app. I had to get a bank statement and sign a solicitor's letter I think.

It is unreasonable of your solicitor to expect him to download an app. Not everyone will be able to do that. Not everyone has an iPhone.

I can't download any new apps on my phone as it. Is out of memory.

The app is nothing to do with the deposit, it's for ID verification. They are very clever, you usually hold your passport to the phone & the door reads the chip in the phone. You have to upload a photo of yourself. It doesn't take long.
I've had to do it a couple of times with different spots.
If he doesn't want to do this (or can't) the solicitor may have a portal that you can upload copies of passport etc to.

Thank you for all your messages.

To answer some of your questions:

I thought he was good with technology as he's had his own business for many years and works on a computer all day. He also has an IPhone and didn't say that he couldn't/didn't know how to use the app, just that he didn't have time to download it. I think his wife knows more but I doubt she would help if it was something to do with me.

He is currently on holiday (no idea where or when he'll be back) so I'm trying not to bother him but obviously this is holding things up and I'm really worried he's just not going to do it.

The solicitor wants his ID, bank statements and a signed letter. I don't know if he'll share his bank statements.

I do agree that it's intrusive to ask for his bank statements as he's not the one buying the house, but having looked online and read various threads, apparently this is very common nowadays because of the Anti Money Laundering checks they have to do.

My mum has suggested that I email the solicitor tonight and explain about the deposit again, how I won't be using the 15k and see if that makes a difference and to ask what the alternatives are if he won't cooperate.

Was it docusign?

See above, it's an ID checking app
We had to say where all the funds were coming from, not just the deposit. We had to go back years tracing where money had come from, including providing my mother's will & probate from 10 years ago. I think this solicitor had particularly strict procedures though.
The anti money laundering aspects simply couldn't be signed off without these things with the particular company

@Cookerhood I think procedures have tightened up hugely as part of anti-money laundering. When we gifted a deposit for ds we had to provide evidence of where all the money had come from, not simply a letter confirming it was a gift