I posted a few days ago regarding my situation but hid the thread and now I can't find it, sorry!
Anyway, what I thought was a great thing and was suppose to help me is now slowly turning into a living nightmare.
My dad who was absent for most of my life (at least 25 years, I'm 28 now) and didn't contribute a penny towards me growing up gifted me £60,000 between 2022-2024 (45k in 2022 and 15k at the beginning of this year). I didn't ask for the money fyi. He said he didn't want it back and wanted me to use it for something good. I thought this was his way of trying to make up for the past and help me with my future. I do work full time and have rented for 8 years on my own so saving has been incredibly difficult just on 1 income.
He's an alcoholic, controlling, loves to argue with people and doesn't like it when people stick up for themselves. He's been married 4 times and his current wife doesn't like me. My siblings have all cut him off. I've tried my very best to leave the past behind and build a relationship with him but he's made it extremely difficult and pretty much just slags my mum off every time I see him. This isn't relevant I know but I just want to give you all an idea of the type of person that I'm dealing with. He's unpredictable at the best of times and just lives in the past.
Anyway, both my mortgage advisor and solicitor made it clear that they would need certain documents (gifted deposit letter and bank statements) from him so I could proceed with the purchase. I spoke to him yesterday and explained that I wouldn't be able to buy the house without some involvement from him and that if he wasn't happy to do it, to please say now so I don't waste peoples time and incur fees.
He said he would do it and told me to stop pestering him (not pestering, asked once) and after all of that, the solicitor text him today with a link to download an app to verify his details and connect his bank account and he's kicked off about it and said he doesn't have time to download a stupid app. I also had to do the same thing this morning and it took me 5 minutes btw. He sent me a shitty text and told me to ask the solicitor to ring or email him. I spoke to the solicitor and she said she would email him but that he will have to do it eventually. She's not particularly worried about the £45,000 because it's been in my account for over 2 years but said that we'll have to account for the £15,000 as it was a recent payment. My mortgage advisor sent him the deposit gift letter today and hasn't heard back yet, but told me not to worry because I'm not actually using the 15k towards the deposit (only 42.5) and the 45k will cover that and he might be able to say it's savings if he won't sign the form.
I'm not sure if the solicitor will be able to do the same thing and I'm trying not to pester her but I'm massively panicking here. My anxiety has hit the roof today and I actually think I'm going to lose my house purchase because of my own parent?!! I just can't believe all of this in the hands of my dad and whether or not he wants to play ball. What am I suppose to do here? Does this mean I'll never be able to buy my own house?
I've asked him countless times if he wants the money back and he's said no so I have no idea what his issue is. I thought he would be happy I'm using it for something good and not pissing it all up the wall!!! It's definitely legitimate funds btw as he's had his own business for over 30 years. I honestly think it's just his way of controlling me, the situation and making things difficult. This process is already stressful as it is and now my own parent is making it harder for me. Please please give me some advice. I know I need to speak to the solicitor properly but I'm so anxious and upset over this. This is suppose to be a happy time for me but I'm so worried it will all be taken away from me because of someone else.