Feeling deflated about new home

[NewHome24]

Hi all, I just wanted some insight into how to make a new home feel more like home. My husband and I completed last week on a lovely house. It’s a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom with utility, 2 reception rooms and double garage. We made some large sacrifices such as location and there is no garden. We were renting before this so haven’t yet moved in but the plan is to do so next week.

I am absolutely dreading it. The house seemed completely finished, newly painted, new windows, new kitchen and bathroom. The idea was it wouldn’t need any work but now it is empty the paint job seems poor and there are things I’d want to change.

The idea was it would be our forever home and hopefully we could start a family soon but I feel very uneasy about it all. It does not help that the previous owners left huge amounts of furniture that we don’t want; 3 beds with stained mattresses, 8 chests of drawers, desks, 42 tins of paint/oil/wood stain all sorts. Some items seem in fine condition so able to be donated others are broken.

Is it normal to feel this way? We’ve been building up to this moment for years and moved to a cheap but lovely area. My job is hugely stressful so I really wanted home to be peaceful but I’m so sad about the lack of garden.

So as not to drip feed, I am autistic so struggle a lot with change. I realise how hugely privileged we are to be buying a home in this climate and completely understand everyone has to make sacrifices. We have a very small front yard and then we’re about 12 meters from a gorgeous quiet field and the beach is less than 10 minutes walk away. We didn’t go for other houses due to cost, some needed renovation works and others were just out of budget. With this option we should be mortgage free by 45/47 and payments are less than 25% of our take home.

I should be overjoyed but when we visit it feels like I’m in a strangers house and shouldn’t be there. We’re in a 2 bed currently so the place is likely to feel quite empty for a while and I just can’t imagine e.g. decorating at Christmas and it feeling homely. I will miss our little rented home.

Can anyone suggest easy ways to make the place feel like home? We have a few paintings that I was thinking of putting up ASAP but other than that is it just time? Again, I appreciate how lucky we are but I have also killed myself working away for this, in an endless burnout cycle only to feel very flat.

Just to add we know the location well but at the minute we rent with beach views 30 seconds from the beach. We did view a house with beach views, a 4 bed with a generous garden but it would have made payments a lot more and we’d be looking at potentially having a mortgage until very late 50s rather than mid 40s. It also needed some work. I can’t help thinking if maybe we made a mistake? At the time I wanted to be sensible and thought more indoor space for less money and work was the better option

The previous owners should remove their junk. Unless you have told them to leave it. Houses are generally sold with vacant possession, which means nothing left behind that wasn't agreed. We moved here and found twenty tins of assorted paint, stored in the loft. That went to the recycling centre asap.

I think it’s very much a case of I can’t have it all and that’s okay, it just takes time to settle. I suppose we will always have the option to move in the future and we’ve made a sensible financial decision that suits us now. The mortgage is the same as we currently pay in rent for our 2 bed.

2400 is gigantic in my book! Can you put in French windows to the courtyard area ans make a sort of inside outside space?

It already has lots of doors leading to it @Keepthosenamesgoing I drew an awful diagram. We have been using the door on the left as the main door but maybe we should use the door at the bottom. Has a door from kitchen, study and double set from dining room. Also same doors into the garage so not an ugly metal door. It’s a real sun trap despite being so blocked in

The red squiggle is the yard just to clarify

We were considering converting the garage to add a downstairs toilet as they’re both upstairs at the minute.

No push back and take your power back. Talk to your solicitor. See if you can get a clearance company and send them the bill!
A lick of paint is easy and cheap to do yourself and soon it will feel
Totally different!

Thanks everyone! A message has been sent via solicitor

To be honest OP that sounds lovely, a private courtyard sun trap! I think if you can rearrange internally to have a nice inside /outside feel from the kitchen or dining room to the yard then I think you may not notice the smallness of the space ... am thinking for example table that's got food laid out inside the dining room but you're sitting outside. If there is wall space you could hang baskets and herbs from the wall rather than in pots on the floor etc.
Enjoy !

I hope so @Keepthosenamesgoing thank you! I often work 60 hour weeks so our thinking was a big lawn would add extra stress and we can add pots as you say. There’s enough room for a paddling pool for a little one and anything more they can go on the field. If I sit at the front/side there’s room to put a bench near the door and kids could play on the field whilst I read a book/ kept an eye on them once they’re big enough (if we’re lucky enough to have children).

Also just to add I know how incredibly fortunate I am. There were 5 of us in a 2 bedroom house when I was little and I really didn’t want that for my future family. I have worked so hard to get here and I think it’s just because it’s new. My husband is ecstatic and he had a very good childhood in comparison so I know we have really lucked out on the space. I know this is something some families could only dream of despite working hard themselves.

Definitely get the locks changed - it’s incredible that they didn’t let you have access on completion and think they can still come in to your home.

It sounds lovely and I hope in time once you have settled in that you will be very happy there.

Agree that a private courtyard will be great. I’d spend a bit of time thinking about how to do it, doors from the kitchen would be really good and have a look online at pictures of courtyard gardens for inspiration.

I like gardening so it it were me I would use the beds around the side as a veg patch but that isn’t for everyone.

Once you have your own things in it will feel a bit different as it will then be on the way to becoming your new home. It will probably feel a but strange as first as you get used to the new noises etc but I think that is a throwback to ancient times when if you were in a new place you had to be more alert to new noises as there were predators around.

OP, I think it is completely normal to feel out of sorts and deflated when moving into a new home. It takes time to get all your furniture in, pictures up etc. There's no way round it - it's a stage everyone has to go through. Also it's natural to second guess your decision and have that sinking feeling that you made the 'wrong' one and another house would have been better. Every empty house you move into will feel strange at first.

Just thinking that right now the rooms are empty, so it's the ideal time to do any more painting/carpet cleaning? Sorry I haven't RTFT so maybe you mentioned this already.

The house sounds lovely and congratulations on your new home!

Houses always look worse without furniture. Once you move it there are marks from sun damage etc.

But it sounds like they've left a lot of the paint so you can touch it up. Don't be too quick to get rid of those supplies. It's expensive to buy.

The beds are a pain but it really depends on whether it's worth the solicitor cost over just getting rid. Or keeping for guests with a protector.

If the drawers can be reused, even in the garage, then it can be useful.

They probably think they've done you a favour and it will soon be forgotten. Enjoy your new home.