To want to move?

[Kent2024]

I feel a bit like I’m being silly. We bought our home about 6 years ago and have spent a lot of money (250k +) on extending and making it a beautiful family home, we have enough bedrooms, a separate office for working from home, gym in the garden, open plan kitchen etc and it has the most stunning views across the north downs, we back directly onto a river and the view is pretty breathtaking all year due to the change in seasons.

The downside, although we have a large front garden and driveway we are on busy road at the front and the noise sometimes drives me mad. I’ve gone through periods where it doesn’t bother me and I barely notice but recently I’ve been struggling to sleep and I lie awake fixating on the next lorry or loud bike that will inevitably pass! It’s not audible in the living room / kitchen but it is in the bedrooms, hallway and bathroom.

We also have to drive everywhere as the road is too dangerous to walk on with the kids / dog so every walk or trip out starts with the car. I grew up in a town that you could walk to things and I miss it. I feel a bit like we are living in a gilded cage which I know is a first world problem so I’m not comparing it to a real struggle!

My DH is annoyed that I keep sending him other houses on quieter streets and has said if we move it will be the last time. We will lose the view and nothing we have seen is done up to the same standard as our home so after years of renovation we will be back to square one in a way with two young kids this time.

When we moved in we didn’t have kids and I think the road bothers me more now as it’s such a faff getting them both strapped in etc just to go for a ten minute walk.

We could either invest more in soundproofing the house or just move but it will cost a lot with stamp duty etc and I’m really confused as I do love the house, garden, views etc. I’m not sure what I’m looking for really, just wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

Thanks for the replies, I’ve booked a couple of viewings on other houses so I’m going to see how I feel about it after seeing what’s available. My DH isn’t convinced but if I can find the right place then maybe he would consider moving, he’s already said we need to be within 20 minute drive of the school as DS is very happy there and a move wouldn’t be fair on him which I agree with. Still confused but hopefully I’ll make peace with it whatever we decide!

Once you have had a beautiful view it is really difficult to live without, I have found from experience. Is it really worth going through all the hassle, cost and inconvenience of selling, buying, moving and renovations just to avoid having to strap your child in the car for a few years?

What is most important for you in the long run?

Not an easy call. We downsized 3 years ago and there are so many things I miss about our old house even though it had quite a few problems. What's the main thing I miss? The view!

We left the countryside and the view for similar reasons to you. Although we could walk as lived on a quiet road, there just wasn't really anything to walk to, either just along the few residential streets or round the edge of the farmers fields. Suited just fine as a couple, not so as a family.

Our children are still too young to venture out on their own but the freedom of having places to walk to with them makes my heart sing.

View is now houses and we've lost privacy in that respect but no regrets here at all.

Another poster suggested renting for 6 months, I think that is a great idea if you can. Weirdly for my family though, as beautiful as the countryside is, for where we were at least, it just didn't feel accessible. We enjoy the outdoors more so now, but after a short walk through town to the big local park.

It's such a hard balance to get right... the desire for a lovely view and accessible green space, and privacy, against having amenities nearby and being able to walk to shops and so on. Perhaps that's why suburbs remain popular. I'm moving from the centre of a city to a suburb of the same city, which gets the balance right for me. The suburb is very well served by public transport and I can still walk to town if I want to, and there are nice parks and scenic walks. Plus the new property is slightly up a hill and has a large garden, so I get lovely sunset views over rooftops towards the sea, and generally feel like I have more space and privacy. I don't think I'd want to move back to the city centre once I've become accustomed to all that, but equally, I probably wouldn't move farther out.

As a parent of young children, I'd want to love too. We live in the centre of a village/town and can walk to most things. School, football, ballet, tennis, friends houses- Al a 10 min walk. It's a great lifestyle. Our house is a fairly boring 1970's one though, with no views. There are definitely compromises, but at this stage of life (and we're about to plough 200k in to the house!) location was our priority.

All the house in the world couldn’t convince me to live by a busy road and have to drive everywhere. We’ve sacrificed house space to live in a lovely town centre and i don’t regret a minute. We rarely use the car. And kids have so much independence, and I think it’s so much better for our physical and mental health. I’d really be pushing to move but prioritise location. You can always change a house but not location. The countryside nice but I’d rather live in a town and drive to the country for a walk once a walk.

I think you would be mad to move for the reasons you have given.

What if you settle in the new place and then find there's something about it you don't like.

Is it a case of the grass being greener?

Can you describe your road situation a bit further OP as I can't quite picture what you're saying?

There's no pavement at all outside your house?

But there are pavements one road away?

Is it just unsafe to walk because you have small children? Could/do adults reasonably walk down the road?

It sounds as if you have lots of walks just one road away - how far is that in terms of walking distance?

I'm just trying to gauge if it's a problem now, or if it will always be a problem. Lots of things seem hugely difficult when you have little ones and it's sometimes hard to keep a sense of perspective about the longer term when you're right in the middle of it.

IS there anything you can do to improve the locality
with regard to walking?

Is there any scope of working with local farming/landowner to put in some permissive paths somewhere along your road (there are some incentives for opening up access).
Can you campaign for traffic slowing measures (which will put off some of the drivers)
Would you have others support your campaign locally?
Are there any ancient historically used footpaths that have been closed off by landowners over the years? These could be reopened. Contact your local Bridleways officer of the British Horse Society and see if they are aware of anything local to you.

This would be my main worry. Would I regret it.. I can’t get away from the fact I don’t like the busy road but neighbours are quiet, we’re not overlooked, the house has a really nice vibe (I.e. it’s light and warm), it’s all done up to our taste, the amazing view etc. It’a really hard to know for sure.

Yes, so there is a pavement outside our house for part of the road (it’s an A road with 40mph limit) the pavement is quite thin and although adults can and do often walk along it, I do not feel comfortable with the kids. For instance a lorry going past at 40mph so close to you is scary, you can feel the force as it passes. The pavement is wider at points and slightly better and then gets very thin again. The dog refuses to walk and just cowers next to the garden wall so we have to carry her or just drive.

The next road over about 5 minute walk is quiet and once you get to it you can relax. There are also trails and an ancient woodland there so you can walk for miles in uninterrupted nature and it’s lovely. It’s just the getting along and across our road that’s the problem and then getting back. I think if I didn’t have kids it wouldn’t bother me.

The driveway is large and gated so no issues with safety once we are back home.

To reduce sound triple glazing itself does not necessarily the best option but will definitely help. You are trying disrupt sound resonating so if all glass panes are the same they resonate at the same speed and is not as effective. Also your windows may not be able to take a triple glazed units as the are quite thick. You could switch out you glass units to have a acoustic laminate (or any laminate). This would be a fraction of the cost as a professional would be able to do this in a day and would have a similar effect as the triple glazing. Alternatively secondary glazing would be very effective but less user friendly.

So two viewings today, a bit of a reality shock to be honest. I know it’s only two houses but not even close to ours, although both in very quiet streets. £750k and £800k and both need a lot of work!

Have the viewings changed your thoughts about moving at all, OP? Would you be ready to take on another major renovation? Another factor to bear in mind is that renovation costs will have escalated quite dramatically in the past 6 years.

@ClematisBlue49 Yes, it’s hard as I prefer the location of both houses road wise but not the actual houses or gardens. When we viewed our house I remember instantly wanting to live here and getting butterflies. All I could think as I was walking around the viewings was I don’t want to live here and I also don't have the energy or resilience for another renovation 🙈

I’m still confused but the more I think about the upheaval and all the work and love we have put into this place I’m leaning more towards staying.

@Ariela Your reply has given me an idea regarding possible speed limit reductions we could pursue for our section of road. If the speed limit was reduced to 30mph from 40mph it would make a massive difference. Speaking to a neighbour it has been raised before so there is local support. Who knows if it’s possible but we could try.

@Kent2024 Talk to your Parish Councillor/council, the local Highways department, as well as neighbours. If you get everyone on board even if you sell before it is actioned it's a plus point on saleability

My husband would divorce me I think.

a stunning view like that from the back of your house, a massive drive, a five minute walk to some beautiful walks,