To want to move?

[Kent2024]

I feel a bit like I’m being silly. We bought our home about 6 years ago and have spent a lot of money (250k +) on extending and making it a beautiful family home, we have enough bedrooms, a separate office for working from home, gym in the garden, open plan kitchen etc and it has the most stunning views across the north downs, we back directly onto a river and the view is pretty breathtaking all year due to the change in seasons.

The downside, although we have a large front garden and driveway we are on busy road at the front and the noise sometimes drives me mad. I’ve gone through periods where it doesn’t bother me and I barely notice but recently I’ve been struggling to sleep and I lie awake fixating on the next lorry or loud bike that will inevitably pass! It’s not audible in the living room / kitchen but it is in the bedrooms, hallway and bathroom.

We also have to drive everywhere as the road is too dangerous to walk on with the kids / dog so every walk or trip out starts with the car. I grew up in a town that you could walk to things and I miss it. I feel a bit like we are living in a gilded cage which I know is a first world problem so I’m not comparing it to a real struggle!

My DH is annoyed that I keep sending him other houses on quieter streets and has said if we move it will be the last time. We will lose the view and nothing we have seen is done up to the same standard as our home so after years of renovation we will be back to square one in a way with two young kids this time.

When we moved in we didn’t have kids and I think the road bothers me more now as it’s such a faff getting them both strapped in etc just to go for a ten minute walk.

We could either invest more in soundproofing the house or just move but it will cost a lot with stamp duty etc and I’m really confused as I do love the house, garden, views etc. I’m not sure what I’m looking for really, just wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

Would it be worth putting triple glazing windows in the bedrooms OP to see if that stops the noise enough to change how you feel about the house?
Even if you still want to move after that, it would be a good selling point.

Yes, I can completely understand your point of view. I would feel the same. I don’t suppose there’s any possibility of a bypass in the future, is there?

I wouldn’t be investing any more money into that house because you are never going to love it, whatever you do because of the main road.

The house you describe sounds so beautiful, and you have put so much work and money into it, that I would do all you possibly can (without spending too much) to make it a home you can stay in, not only to get the benefit of what you have created, but perhaps to wait for a time when the market will have picked up a bit and you'd be more likely to get some of your investment back.

You say the sound isn't an issue in the main living areas, so a simple solution might be ear plugs at night. A hallway is generally somewhere you are passing through, so less of a problem? Otherwise I recommend (not for the first time on these threads!) noise cancelling headphones.

Regarding the feeling of being trapped and needing to use the car... Is there any way you can go for walks from the rear of the property and across the countryside? Or just live with needing to use the car and find places you can park up and then walk. I'm guessing that with the DC still young, going out of the house is always going to involve a certain amount of preparation and lack of spontaneity, and this element will become easier over time.

@Boxingwhelp We already have acoustic glazing and it’s helped a lot but I think we’d need to insulate the loft / roof space as that’s where a lot of the noise is coming in from.

@HeddaGarbled no bypass planned sadly!

@Twiglets1 I know that’s probably sensible. I just keep thinking if we couldn’t hear the road inside the bedrooms I might be happy. This is the view and it’s the reason I’m torn.

That's an amazing view @Kent2024 and will make you house very saleable (as will all your improvements) despite the busy road.
But there is a limit to how much you can expect to recoup if you keep spending more and more money on the house. A lot of people aren't as sensitive to noise as you obviously are so they won't be willing to pay for things like triple glazing when you come to sell. I think it's possible you have already made the house about as perfect as it's possible to be and if you still don't love it, you never will (in my opinion, of course).

I live in a house on a quiet street, walkable to town/walks and with a view.

The view lifts my spirits/soothes my soul etc but I could not live in a house on a busy, noisy road. Non negotiable for me.

So, if it were me I would move.

When we moved to the country with young DC I made sure it was somewhere we could just walk out the door and be safe, and there were walks we could get to without driving.

Being on a busy road would be a no no for me, although your view is amazing.

Having to get in the car all the time must be such a hassle. I would move, but make sure that my priorities were met this time.

@Twiglets1 I think that’s where we are at now, if we spend any more we are unlikely to get it back as we are definitely pushing the ceiling price already. My thoughts are we could test the market and if we get a decent price then it might be worth the upheaval.

Sadly not much available in the SE commuting distance to london with views / gardens like ours in our price bracket so it will likely be a more typical house / garden on a quieter road. I just worry we will
move and I’ll regret losing what we have or we could end up having nightmare neighbours etc and I’ll have made the wrong decision.

Gosh that is stunning, but the truth is if anything you will feel even more strongly as your kids get older. My teen loves being able to take himself off to the shops or walk to friends, he would absolutely hate it if he had to be taken everywhere by me. I think I would feel the same, so much as the view is beautiful, I would be packing up and moving to the nearest town where hopefully I would be too busy getting on with life and enjoying the amenities to think too hard about the view/the old house.

That's a really good point re teens. Mine likes to go off for a walk to clear their head in between studying.

Stunning view. With triple glazing you would hear nothing inside the bedrooms.

And you still wouldn't be able to go for a walk.

OP, in my experience once you start having these thoughts they don't really disappear. It sounds like you have already starting jazzing up this house to cover up your inherent dislike of the location. I just sold my house, having spent a large amount renovating it recently for similar reasons. The final round of renovations had me hiring in a fancy interiors person, final shots making it into magazines etc... but weirdly I almost felt even more strongly afterwards that it just wasn't right. The good thing was it sold really easily and I've managed to buy a house I love much more, that's been stunningly renovated, and somewhere I feel much more connected already. And it was cheaper... so you never know, your dream 'other' property might come up! There are thousands of different places you could live, and I'm sure yours isn't going to be the only one with a good view.

Stunning view!

But I couldn't live somewhere if there's no pavements outside the gate. I don't drive so I like to be in town with public transport, people watching and all amenities at hand.

Oh, and the noise? One gets used to it.

I mean, I get used to it.

I can imagine living so rurally it would be more annoying OP.

I have insomnia, and my experience during the periods it acts up is it can amplify the sound sensitivity a lot. Sounds that normally won't bother me suddenly become extremely loud and makes me very depressed. I think you should wait until you can sleep well again before making the decision.

Gosh the view is stunning.

What a beautiful view! I understand why you're feeling conflicted. The view must be great for the soul and it sounds like you've made a lovely home, but I'd feel very trapped not being able to walk anywhere from the house. Perhaps you need to spend some time really looking at other options - go on a few viewings and try to imagine how it would feel being somewhere different.

Different people feel differently about sound. I absolutely hate it and happily moved from a house which had a road at the bottom of the garden and the sound of traffic (just occasional) ruined my enjoyment of the garden totally. I could not wait to live in a house with a silent garden where I could only hear the birds and neighbours. I guess we fixate on wanting the one thing we do not have.
Might be worth viewing a few houses to see how you 'feel' before making any big decisions? Perhaps it might make you appreciate the beautiful wonderful things about your house more? Or it might make you more keenly aware of what you are missing? Either way you'll find some direction. No one but you can decide on what's more important to you.

I think if it’s bothering you now it’s not going to improve. The view is stunning and the house sounds amazing but that also means you’ll sell it for a good price. I’d move and enjoy the next place while your kids are still little.

We also have to drive everywhere as the road is too dangerous to walk on with the kids / dog so every walk or trip out starts with the car

This alone would make me want to move, who wants to get in a car every time you just want to go out for a stroll.

I feel similar I Iive on a busy main road and since having kids it bothers me more from a safety aspect. We can't move right now for a few reasons. My road does have pavements though so is walkable I just have to be careful with the kids and I try to walk the side streets to avoid the main road where I can. I don't drive but I'm now learning as where I live makes me want to drive even more now

Rent somewhere else for six months/year and you can move back at any point. See if you’d really like it better somewhere else.
All you’d lose is the rent & council tax costs - cheaper than selling then regretting it.
Also try planting a really big hedge and fence out the front - like they do to deaden noise near motorways. Worth a try.

My DH doesn’t understand this point at all. He thinks driving to the next road over (where there are miles of walking trails) is not a massive inconvenience but the faff of all getting in the car and finding a parking space stops is doing it most of the time.

Thee we house and view seem absolutely stunning but the not being able to walk out of your house would be an absolute deal breaker for me! I too left a house with an incredible view, probably some of the best views across the whole of London, and will always miss that view but you can’t stay in one place for the rest of your life just because of a stunning view. Maybe this is because I am a city/beach person and walk everywhere but having to drive everywhere to me sounds so unhealthy and restricting! And like others have said even worse when the kids get a bit older. I personally would think of the lovely years you have had there and also of the lovely years you will have in your next place!