We've recently bought & want to move out

[Nextdoor55]

Small village in the middle of nowhere. Non stop issues with small minded neighbours, parking, boundaries, we've already seen a solicitor & had advice about how to move. Thankfully positive.

Asking someone to avoid blocking our garden gate resulted in 3 households ignoring us even though none of them directly involved. It's all people gossiping like school children, judgements & bitching. We're basically shunned by the village. And we've only had issues with one person. It's like a cult.

People grassing us up to local council for adding a fence & other minor "offences". Thankfully ignored.
Been here 11 months & it's been like something out of a folk horror movie. Cannot wait to move & will never live in a village again.
Also, never had these issues before despite living in a variety of homes.
So annoyed at making the mistake of moving here.

Anyone else regretted moving so soon?

I'm imagining that you don't live in a toxic neighborhood that resembles League of Gentlemen then

I moved to a market town. I'd just feel very guilty taking a village home from a local. Their life is hard enough - especially the youngsters.

And that is what is wrong with some people - WFH as a stopgap, wonderful to save on childcare and commuting, live the wonderful work/life balance - aren't we lucky?
Really you should have realised moving because of WFH was massively short-sighted - no-one made you do it.
At least you have admitted you made a mistake and not blaming the village/rural occupants who have possibly been 'invaded' by the WFHomers who have a vast sense of entitlement and lots of money!

It doesn't sound like the village for you OP, so on that basis, it would be better to sell up and move on I think.

These neighbour issues can be a problem anywhere. In a large culturally diverse town in the SE, where I grew up in, the neighbourhood was horrid. Moaning if you accidentally stepped on a driveway, didn't push a newspaper right through the letter box ( myself and bro had paper rounds), my baby brother accidentally picked a tulip petal from a man's tulip and he went ballistic at him ( 2) and me (10). Then the fence boundary disputes from neighbours.. it just went on. My poor mum and dad were so stressed permanently. Hell was an understatement. Oh and the gossiping in the road.

I then bought my own house in the same town and experienced horrid neighbours moaning about parking rights.

Eventually shifted to the NW in a semi rural town and blow me down, have neighbours who would walk on past if you dropped dead in the street ( despite best efforts to be friendly).

Maybe it's just some human beings? 🤔

My what an angry & presumptuous response to a genuine post

@Nextdoor55 Yes I get the logic but the suggestion that people go tackle people who are selling to 2nd home owners is silly - how do you know who people are selling to, and even if you did its hardly going to stop them.

@Nextdoor55 totally agree! Where did all that WFH rant come from? It doesn't even feature in your original post??

I definitely agree it's something to do with people with small minds, lack of things to do & the beliefs that because they may have lived somewhere a year or so longer (our neighbours are not 'original residents', they have just been here longer than us), they really think that this gives them more human & other rights than people who have just moved in.
It's obviously absolutely ludicrous & based on false sense of ownership & importance but people I say move on & leave them to it. Good riddance.

Vast sense of entitlement and lots of money? Im perplexed.

Agree OP. When myself and family moved to the road with the precious driveway and tulip owners, there was definitely a sense of " we've lived here forever, whilst you peasants ( that's how we were frowned upon!) have been here 5 minutes, causing chaos.

Definitely leave them to their narrow insular ways of " thinking".

Vendors know who their purchaser is. Landlords know who their tenant is.

Village locals could chose to market locally to local people at affordable prices but understandably they want the best price.

A lot of air bnbs are owned by locals.

@SomersetTart You are missing my point. You said “Locals who complain about the second homers and air bnbers should have a stern word with the people who sell them the houses.” ..My point is people don’t necessarily know who their neighbours are selling to. And even if they did..so what ..it’s a free country etc. It wont change unless the demand ( ie people with money for second homes) dries up

Grew up in a village and my life was made a misery by the bigoted, ignorant locals. Couldn’t wait to get away. And you had to drive everywhere, or rely on the shitty bus service. Ugh.

@Sidebeforeself My point was that it's not "the neighbours" who are selling it's the individuals themselves - the local villagers who complain ARE the ones selling. It's themselves they should have a stern word with.

Yes, it's a free country, but if you want Joe from down the road's son to have a home then you have to sell to him your dear old mum's house at a price he can afford and not flog it to some bloke from up country who offers you a packet.

...and if you chose to make do without a car for whatever reason and rely on that rubbish bus service you get treated with great suspicion and get asked so many personal intrusive questions. Can't win, either you're a lefty eco-meany so hated by conservative car loving villagers (and they'll see it a personal attack on their rights) or you must be poor so they look down on you, best to just pretend to have a medical condition. The road accidents are horrendous in the countryside, carnage and some of the young deaths really tragic but everyone is so oddly desensitized to it. I did lockdowns in the countryside, with people jumping into the road or turning their backs on me, but then are happy to drive at crazy speeds, on crazy roads with flooding, fog, deer etc and young and old drivers alike regularly causing accidents they wouldn't have if they just lived in a town with public transport.

We moved into my village 4 years ago. We could not have been made more welcome. Rural East Sussex. We have a very active community with lots going on from the usual flower shows and village craft markets to quiz's and 'race night' fund raisers for new village hall. None of which are 'obligatory' and we do not get shunned if we don't attend. However when we do, the welcome is warm and genuine.

As for the comments about educational attainment and villages being filled with old uneducated gentry with only their property wealth.. that is so far from my reality. There are 7 houses in our lane. The house owners vary in age from early 40s, (senior buyer for large supermarket and family solicitor 2 kids at Durham) mid 50s x 3 (2 teachers and a Police officer , 2 kids one at Uni in the states and one a trainee nurse) . A farming couple in late 70s/early 80s kids/grand kids at Uni .. and a civil servant with 3 kids all in well paying 'proper jobs' post Uni. This is one lane but and pretty much reciprocated across the village.

Why have my family found village life so easy and welcoming when their are so many with negative experiences on here. ? I think it's simply a mind set. I was born and bought up in a very rural village, went to a village school. Am aware of the rhythm of village life. I know what things will wind neighbours up (moving in and immediately starting to chop down/remodel the whole house/woodland/garden is a typical stupid move from new comers)

I know when to pick my battles ... just because you have bought a new home that has a garden gate, can you REALLY not manage with a car parked near it ? Are you actually using the gate everyday or are you just pissed off because it's 'yours' and you want to exert your access rights despite your neighbour parking there for 25 years ?

Do you make an effort to be part of community life ? Not everyone has time to run quizzes and flower shows but there are other things that are really appreciated and cost no time. For example we store village stuff collected for bric a brac sales and jumbles. It makes us 'part of it' .

I can not imagine living in a city or town. I am pretty sure people are wired one way or another.

I think you've outlined your village difference. You're talking about somewhere full of professional people which is bound to impact on the environment.
That is similar to the previous place we lived & yes quite pleasant. You should appreciate though that not everywhere is going to replicate your experience.
I'd also suggest that you might re read my posts, it's not that we care that people park on the road or that we want to park there - we just would like to get out of the house & parking over a front door is very antisocial as well as pretty unreasonable behaviour.
You have to make adjustments when new people move in, you cannot expect to continually inconvenience someone, you have no more right than they do to park anywhere even if you've been there for 10 years, (because no-one has been living in the new person's house, for example, & therefore not needed to use door).

I cannot go back to my old house & start demanding parking rights, because even if I used to park somewhere for 20 years, it's still not & never was, 'my spot'. It's this sort of stubborn & nonsense thinking that causes disharmony & resentment to everyone.

Eh? I don't think I have posted about 2nd homeowners I think that came from someone else!

@Nextdoor55 I think @Sidebeforeself was replying to me. I've answered her point at 21.36 yesterday.

Really weird how there's a side discussion on 2nd homeowners, nothing to do with what I'm talking about?!

@Nextdoor55 Apologies - error on my part