We've recently bought & want to move out

[Nextdoor55]

Small village in the middle of nowhere. Non stop issues with small minded neighbours, parking, boundaries, we've already seen a solicitor & had advice about how to move. Thankfully positive.

Asking someone to avoid blocking our garden gate resulted in 3 households ignoring us even though none of them directly involved. It's all people gossiping like school children, judgements & bitching. We're basically shunned by the village. And we've only had issues with one person. It's like a cult.

People grassing us up to local council for adding a fence & other minor "offences". Thankfully ignored.
Been here 11 months & it's been like something out of a folk horror movie. Cannot wait to move & will never live in a village again.
Also, never had these issues before despite living in a variety of homes.
So annoyed at making the mistake of moving here.

Anyone else regretted moving so soon?

I live in a village and don't recognise any of the comments on this thread. Tbh I don't get involved in village things as I am not really villagey. But our neighbours are very nice and very normal.

Yes this has now happened to us, and I'm strongly suspecting a member of the parish council who actually went out of their way to phone someone who was working on our house to suggest if he cut our grass he might be breaking the law because you can't interfere with flowers (!) And we've had another report to the council for apparently breaching a law (when we had a relative to stay) they suggested that we don't have the right: they thought we were letting out a room in our house for a weekend!.

It's truly beyond belief & I feel like I'm in a goldfish bowl & I can't move without people trying to stab us in the back due to some apparent misdemeanour. And really the parish council are just bins & benches they have no power. No-one listens to them anyway I don't see the point in this little mob of parish councils. Horrible interfering lot.

I like the fact that you wrote to the council though, it's something we'll do while we're here if this reporting us continues. Feels awful when people are actively trying to cause harm to you.

I hear you thought it's lovely here it's just the people!!

I lived in lots of villages... only 1 was 'bad' and that was because it was a large village in a network of villages (like a faux town) all full of chavs.

The tiny quaint little villages have all been lovely and welcoming (but useless to live in if you don't drive as they didn't even have a corner shops, all have a pub for some reason though lol).

I hear you thought it's lovely here it's just the people!!

The thing that baffles me about villages how can people who live in such beautiful surroundings be so unrelentingly miserable.

I moved a village and lived there for nearoy 13 years and had the exact experience a lot of other people have had on this thread. I have now moved to a rough estate in a town and couldn't be happier to be away from that place. Would never ever ever live in a small place again.

I wouldn't let these idiots ruin your experience of living in a quaint cute place if you like the place. In a city you can also have morons for neighbours or neighbours you never talk to- could you just not talk to these neighbours? Or is it very important to you your friends with your neighbours and other villagers?

I wouldn't want them to win and bully you away and lose all that money you spent moving

My ILs lived in a village. A prosperous one. The neighbours were, with one or two exceptions, total shits. Same when they moved to a similar village elsewhere. As a result I vowed I'd never live in a village (I was brought up in towns). Other family had similar experiences.
Ended up buying in a village, turned out to be great, lived there over 30 years and loved it. But...it wasn't a posh village. More dormitory, close to town. Mostly townies living there from well outside the area, and very ordinary modern 1960s houses- so much so it was cheaper for the same house than in the close by town.
Pick your village...

The problem is, there are very few neighbours here so there's no diluting the clannish nastiness.
I do agree in some ways though actually, but hard to live around a majority who don't speak, & weird too

I think it's fair enough to moan about your horrible neighbours but the generalisations about the types of people who live in villages are really nasty and unnecessary. Thick and inbred? What, all of them?

I've had lovely neighbours in villages and terrible neighbours in cities, so I think it comes down to the individuals and not the size of community you live in.

But maybe your neighbours are on a thread right now complaining about the new people who moved to their village, acted like they owned the place, complained about everything and had an annoying air of superiority.

I agree, @lemonmeringueno3 People too often move to a new place without allowing themselves a little time to gently and subtly ingratiate themselves with those around them.

Instead, they seem to find themselves winding people up immediately, over parking or fences or noisy building work.

It's all a lot easier if you move in and just be quiet, friendly and observant for a bit.

Are you honestly saying that there is no distinction between the cultures of rural village life and city life? And that no general descriptive comments can be made to define what are (to me) quite obvious differences in terms of home ownership, levels of education, social mobility, employment, kinship? This is the bread and butter of sociology and anthropology! I've personally found it interesting to read.

I live in a village, been here for 27 years yet still regarded as an income. I did volunteer work in the village for 6 years, still not accepted. Either people have lived here forever or they’re Londoners snapping up pretty little cottages for weekend visits. House prices are ridiculous (£650k for a two up two down with a patio garden and no parking anyone?)
Previously I lived in another village for 22 years, DH was the fourth generation. I was never addressed by my name, always dh’s wife, MIL’s DIL etc.
DCs went to the village school, unless you were monied (we certainly weren’t!) no one would acknowledge you, let alone talk to you.
I guess I’m used to it now.

But maybe your neighbours are on a thread right now complaining about the new people who moved to their village, acted like they owned the place, complained about everything and had an annoying air of superiority.

This is bullying, what you describe. It's kind of "mean girls" vibes. Villages are small and usually have cliquey like-minded people there, that's why bullying might be normalised. But bullying is not normal. It's grotesque.

@MollyButton
A stop sign, you say?
A stealth boast if ever I heard one.

I'm sorry I do have to show off sometimes

By the way volunteering and getting involved with the community through projects won't get you anywhere. The locals have seen it all before. For them it's a sport, it's a bit of fun in their immature lives and they have time to watch you do all the work enthusiastically with the professional efficiency of someone well educated and smart enough to survive in a city and then stab you right in the back when you hope to cash in on the goodwill you think you've earned. Think a scenario like wind turbine planning application in a field next to your house ruining your quiet enjoyment, do you think the locals will upset the farmer buddy they grew up with and went to school with just because you arranged a few flowers in the church and helped out at the community lunches? Yeap you guessed it, you're on your own, and you could waste years thinking you're in with locals. I used to be a bit of Nimby but I'm totally over it now, build a great big new development, dilute these hicks out, see if I care now.

It really is bullying, like joining together to ignore us, we say hi & most literally ignore, the culture of blame without looking at how unwelcoming they have been to create a degrading atmosphere. Yeah it's just like being on the playground, but these individuals have not yet realised their actions have serious consequences. It would be pathetic if it wasn't so hurtful & outrageous

So you're saying don't do anything like put a fence up, because it might be too much to beat for someone? And then if you do, their justifiable response would be to ignore new neighbour or something equally as childish? Christ.
Yeah that's ridiculous.

Yeah you're probably right, they've certainly found time to complain to local council, anyone else they can think of (anonymously of course) getting them nowhere. But spiteful nonetheless.
You're wrong though about the size of the community, it really is relevant it's the bedrock of community context & social understanding.
Also my previous experience of living in villages & cities tell me it is definitely them & not us. Because we've not had any issues with neighbours before.
As far as I'm concerned they're little bullies in a small tank, I'd love to plonk them in a city where they'd have to survive really awful neighbours, like antisocial behaviour (they'd pray that it was only a fence or building work wouldn't they if they really had neighbours from hell?). Because we're alright neighbours. It could be a lot lot worse...

Not defending this sort of behaviour at all but Ido think second homes/air bnb has contributed to ill feeling . It’s not just the fact that it drives up property prices but also that it eats away at the fabric of a community

I'm just reeling at the bus stops - note the plural. Buses around 'ere are the stuff of myth & legend!

But there again we do have a pond and a redundant phone box so I suppose I can't complain!

Locals who complain about the second homers and air bnbers should have a stern word with the people who sell them the houses.

OH! Awkward.

@SomersetTart How would they know who people are selling to?!

I agree. So rude!

If there's a shortage of housing for local people then it makes sense that they're buying the houses.
The issue in rural places isn't housing, it's lack of jobs, transport & infrastructure. Except.. tourism