Downsizing is so hard

[BG2015]

Our house is going on the market next week. We live in a 3 storey townhouse, with 4 bedrooms, 2 en-suites and main bathroom, plus an integral garage. Large kitchen diner and south facing garden. We have a great 15 foot square living room with a massive corner sofa.

We are downsizing to get rid of our mortgage. This next house will be our retirement house. I've had a number of health issues so we need to make this move to take it more financially viable for me to finish work.

DS 20, is still with us and will not be moving out anytime soon, so we need 2 large double bedrooms.

We have viewed a few houses and 2 stand out but both would need compromises if we bought them.

We knew it would be hard but not this hard.

I was thinking about what you've said about the mortgage and wanting to retire in year or two for health reasons.

A couple of things: I think a few thousand on changes is likely to be a bargain compared to 10k a year on your current mortgage - it may be worth thinking about that and whether that's currently playing into your thinking? I.e. loft hatch, if you can get a cupboard in that goes over the stairs, putting a really decent shed in.

The other thing - you may be aware of this, but have you looked at the options around medical retirement? If you're unable to do your role any more for health reasons, your DB scheme may have an ill health retirement process - certainly worth examining as it might make things less tight.

The more pricier one has the potential for that, plus we may open up the kitchen if we could get it at a better price.

The house we currently live in has 3 storeys, so lots of stairs so I don't want that in a future house, but don't particularly want a bungalow.

Ill health retirement could definitely be on the cards but Occupational Health have advised me that I wouldn't get it at the moment as my health condition is quite recent and there is still medication that I'm trying. But it's certainly on my radar. So much so, I printed the forms off the last time I was off sick.

Divan beds - the ones that lift up - are a complete game changer in terms of shortage. They might not be great for a hoover but like a pp said that could live in a wardrobe. My daughter has a single and it fits all the household bedding, spare towels, summer duvets, some toys etc. I'm planning to replace all our b D's with them eventually

Wow those prices a house like that is £400k in SW., I hope it works out for you, we had similar conversations but need a serious year of decluttering first. Ironically we moved into this house from a 2 bed bungalow and I think have doubled our possessions over the last 10+ years!

I love the second property you listed @BG2015 if you could get it for a good price.

I salute everyone who thinks ahead & downsizes. We intend to do it in about 10 years but it obviously is not easy. We love our current house but want to plan for the future & get something with no stairs or at least a bedroom & bathroom on the ground floor just in case.

The 2nd house is lovely but no downstairs loo...and no obvious place to put one
That would be an absolute priority ..as mobility declines even with the option of a stairlift it would be better to have downstairs loo/shower if possible..
Good idea to think about it now my dad mobility declined really quickly unexpectedly and its been tougher due to impractically of house...

But op already has her grown up child with her.
I think Maybe it’s more common in London - I know of many families that have one. And before I had my baby I usually had one- really miss that income now! You can be so so choosy (renting crisis) literally just choose someone who is quiet seems clean and works away or goes away most weekends (these are the best!) or a foreign language student that will be out all the time. You can set rules like the living room is for family only- you have a tv in your bedrooM to watch. And it’s much easier to get rid of a lodger than buy to lets - obviously morally I’d be very upfront and say this isn’t a home to get settled in for the next year or two we’re seeing it as more of a short term option for people who are between their long term homes - you’ll get lots of people after a break up or waiting for their new build flat to be completed (I did).
id much rather this than lose a big home

Gosh that second house is beautiful op, but you really should consider a downstairs loo as a major priority. Downsizing is difficult, and I have seen many of my parents friends struggle with it, so well done for doing so before it becomes a problem. Being honest, you don't need a south facing garden and parking for three cars. Your son can park on the road somewhere. You can also apply for on road allocated disabled spaces if you qualify. You need to buy the house for the lifestyle you will have if your illness gets worse, not the lifestyle you have now. Good luck!

How exciting and well done on the decluttering! It’s boggling once you start isn’t it how much is hidden away. Btw animal shelters will normally take old towels and sometimes bedding if you have any near you that you could call.

The second house is immaculate and looks really well cared for. Nice garden too. I would also see if a loo could be fitted into that under stairs cupboard. You'll be grateful if you ever need joint replacement surgeries!

I agree with you and I don’t think it’s that common in London either in this bracket, it makes your home more of a house share, and of course saying you can’t use the living room and need to stay in your room , is fine but awkward, you still have bathroom , kitchen and maybe other shared areas , and are you banning guests, I’d need to be fairly desperate for the money before I moved a stranger in, and would see downsizing as preferable to renting out rooms.

I am downsizing too and having just had an offer on my house (which we are accepting), we are going from a very large 5/6 bedroom house to a 3 bed. It is a renovation and extension (currently derelict). I will have a fab living space but just 3 bedrooms which will be half the size of the ones I am in. We are going to stay in a static caravan while the renovations are done (to be on site and save on costs), so what I don't sell, get rid of or donate is going into storage, so very mindful of costs.
I am having a major cull and trying to get into the mindset of proper decluttering. It is quite freeing, but I have got my work cut out, for sure. I got a huge skip in the summer and cleared the loft (just empty boxes up there for our move). Currently tidying the kitchen drawers and cupboards. Hoards of stuff, crammed in every space - not for much longer! A top tip I have just discovered - used a pile of unwanted tea-towels to wrap up stuff I am boxing for storage - saves on the bubblewrap!
Watching this thread with interest. Good luck OP.

I really like the second one of the last two you shared the links with. I think you probably could get in a downstairs loo. A positive is the council tax band is cheaper than the other one, only by a band, but it's still a saving. Which location do you prefer, as if it's your retirement home, you're going to be there a long time.

South facing garden is our top priority.Ive lived in houses where the grass is soggy and the sun disappears at 11am.

We like sitting outside and reading, pottering about, BBQing and having friends and family round when it's sunny and as we reach retirement age we will do this more and more.

I would say this a total non negotiable really.

@BG2015 that reasoning makes total sense. Good to know your main priorities, so you can compromise on other things. I have a South facing garden and dislike it as it's too damn hot out there every summer now. I want shade! Can't afford to move though, so I will just begrudgingly put up with the thing that everyone else wants.

I don’t blame you for making a sunny garden non negotiable, that will be us when we downsize. We spend as much time outside as possible and hopefully more so when we retire.

That second one, look how the neighbour has parked. He is right up to the boundary, it seems very territorial. It’s pretty much the same on street view too so clearly how they always park. Pull onto the drive when you view and make sure you can actually park and open your doors if you have two cars to park.

Well, we viewed the houses attached this morning.

House 1 the viewing was with the estate agent. Really nice house, the space would work for us and with a few tweaks could be good. It meets most of our list of criteria. They have had a few offers but obviously none that have been acceptable. I told the EA that it's over priced. I even told her the last house on this street only sold for £192 last April.

I think if I offered it would £195k (it's on at £220k). I'd maybe go to £200 but that would be my absolute limit.

House 2 was with the vendor. They have separated so keen to sell. Their sale collapsed 2 weeks ago when the buyer pulled out. Beautiful house but the second bedroom is too small for my son.

I've not had any offers on my house yet so not in a position to proceed with any offers really.

But house 1 is definitely in the running.

I think if I offered it would £195k (it's on at £220k). I'd maybe go to £200 but that would be my absolute limit.

You do realise this is all very visible, and the vendors might be on MN, or someone who recognises their house and then tells them ?

That's very true

I wonder if you might be better viewing just two beds? My favourite house was a two bed (two decent sized doubles) because the third was converted into a bedroom (so it was huge). Downstairs it was open plan so I had a massive family room/diner/kitchen and a small lounge.

You can always buy a shed.

And as for decluttering I did a big job with it moving from a 3 bed to a small 2 bed apartment. But it's not just stuff, furniture needs to be smaller or more adaptable.

I'm still decluttering but alot of that is me with my anxiety about stuff.