Downsizing is so hard

[BG2015]

Our house is going on the market next week. We live in a 3 storey townhouse, with 4 bedrooms, 2 en-suites and main bathroom, plus an integral garage. Large kitchen diner and south facing garden. We have a great 15 foot square living room with a massive corner sofa.

We are downsizing to get rid of our mortgage. This next house will be our retirement house. I've had a number of health issues so we need to make this move to take it more financially viable for me to finish work.

DS 20, is still with us and will not be moving out anytime soon, so we need 2 large double bedrooms.

We have viewed a few houses and 2 stand out but both would need compromises if we bought them.

We knew it would be hard but not this hard.

Agree OP.
I would half like to downsize and keep an eye on the market but there are so few that meet my brief. One 2 bed detached bungalow in a good location came on the market recently and it was only about £75k less than our current home and needed new kitchen & bathroom and redecorating throughout. I think if we don't downsize we will end up adapting our current house, we could live just downstairs if needed, dining room becoming our bedroom and making the downstairs loo a shower room. Obviously no equity released that way though!
I do wish home builders would build some more detached bungalows, it doesn't make the most ££ from the plot though.

The second house you linked to looks really nice but I think the kitchen is the issue. Would you be able to afford a new kitchen, knocked through to the dining room? I would make sure I had enough ££ held back to do that work.

I sympathise OP. I had to downsize years ago following a marriage breakdown.
One thing I learned quickly was that losing bedrooms also meant compromising on storage space too.
Basically I had to get rid of excess stuff, so meant hiring a couple of skips, but it was doable.
The silver linings though were a smaller garden to maintain and less housework.😁

@CognitiveIllusion no, there really aren't. Theyll
probably have to 'settle' for a semi detached bungalow & try to find one attached by the garages. It's not easy and they're not cheap!

Good luck. Downsizing does make sense - smaller bills, less maintenance, and less cleaning!

I had to sell my 264 sq m house when my husband died and unfortunately it was during lockdown so I couldn't sell anything, I just had to leave it all behind. Wardrobes, linen press, kitchen table and chairs - I couldn't get a removal company to help as they weren't 'essential workers'.

I moved to this tiny 3 bedroom 96 sq m bungalow and I've had to give even more away, there just isn't room. I miss my big airing cupboard and kitchen table!

When you are house hunting, I would recommend checking out the many questions Phil Spencer recommends on a second viewing, even down to flushing the loo. If you don't ask, the vendor doesn't have to mention it.

The seller of my bungalow did give a hint that I missed :( and I would definitely recommend having a survey, as well as a damp/timber survey. As she was a retired single woman my age, I thought she would be honourable, but sadly my experience is buyer beware. She was very nervous during my viewing and I thought it was Covid nerves. I offered on first viewing and she wanted to continue the viewings over the weekend - on the Monday I was told she had 'chosen' me out of the offers, if I would pay more than the asking price, which I did.

After accepting my offer she rang me one day about something, and during the conversation said , she'd 'overwatered a plant and damaged the carpet' in the back bedroom.

When I was having new curtains fitted I discovered that every floor, except the concrete floor in the extension, was rotten with wet/dry rot and woodworm. Every floor was covered in thick black mould. Surveyors cannot lift carpets or move furniture - and the furniture had been arranged strategically. I had to have the units/fitted wardrobes and shower ripped out so all of the floors could be replaced, the job was only £11K but I had to pack everything into storage, hire a chemical toilet etc.. I will never forgive her for this omission as my beloved elderly sheltie died the following year. The vet said it was his kidneys and he would have been 14 the next day - but he had a fungus in his nose.

Good luck!

@Chewbecca the kitchen isn't an issue as I think we'd keep the dining room separate.

The kitchen is next to the lounge at the back and the dining room is at the front so it would be too big of a space unless we reconfigured it all.

£220k is really at the top of our budget so there wouldn't be a great deal left over for major work.

Researching nearby houses to it, it seems it's overpriced. No house on that road has sold for that much. Latest one sold last April for £192k so I think that's probably why it hasn't sold so far. It sold for £160k in August 2019.

Unless of course there's something structurally wrong with it.

I just came on here to give you a heap load of encouragement as what you are doing is SO sensible. And also to say I bet you’ve got 100 mugs you don’t need… and you beat me to it!

I went through the downsizing process with my mum - she was alone, in her 70s with a 140 foot garden and too isolated from the GP and supermarket.

My mum ultimately bought a little 3 bedroom house in a cul de sac near my home, eventually and yes it was definitely a process. She actually moved into rented first (to put herself in a good position as a cash buyer) and while she was working out what to keep and what to donate/ chuck.

We spent many happy days going through the stuff and mementos she has kept - plenty of mugs and crockery and ornaments. How many Pyrex dishes can one person need??!

It was not easy to get rid of certain things that held strong memories - I took a lot of photos - and even so, sometimes we both felt overwhelmed by the process - but it was necessary and in the end really satisfying.

My mum was blissfully happy after the downsize - ridding herself of the responsibility of looking after a big house let to a new lease of life - new friends, a new garden to redesign and enjoy, new hobbies (she took up painting and reading with a renewed passion).

When my mum passed away, I was glad we had done that process together, so I knew which jar was kept for Christmas pickle and which pair of knitting needles had to be used to knit all the baby jumpers for the family.

I only kept 3 of her mugs though 🤣

@BG2015 Are you moving too stoke or are you already in the area?

Read up about "Swedish Death Cleaning" and then think of it like you're the stage (or 2 stages) before that.

I know they have the rear room set up as a lounge currently but I would swap them and knock through. I suspect the current kitchen is why it hasn't sold, it's very narrow and looks old, clearly has been painted over. I'd bear that on mind if you decide to proceed.
All the best.

We are doing similar this year...same size house to probably max 3 bed/1 bathroom. I do want either garage/ shed though.
There's only the 2 of us....I'm very ruthless getting rid of stuff and am rising to the challenge!
I am looking forward to the £150k of fun money we shall have at the end of it.

No we already live in Stoke.

I looked at a beautiful house when I was moving - very pretty, little stain glass windows in all the internal doors. I loved it.

there was nowhere to store a vacuum cleaner or ironing board or mop or brush. The third bedroom was tiny and would have become a utility closet.

I ended up buying a four bed and building an extension for a utility room! So actually upsized instead of downsizing😟.

sheds aren’t expensive though - so do t let lack of outdoor storage put you off. I just a lovely new shed installed for around £600.

@BG2015

Good Luck finding something you like!!

I agree that you & DH need to sit down and make a list, what is absolutely not negotiable. What is negotiable & how ie 3rd bed or good storage. Garage/driveway/allocated parking.

But also look at as many properties as you can, sometimes 'on paper' places are very different to 'in person'.

Dana K white is really really really amazing with decluttering. Well worth reading her books & listening to her podcasts.

its not so easy when you're moving as you don't know exactly what the new house is like.

BUT, you can make some assumptions (let's use mugs as it's come up a lot 😂😂). Decide how much space you're prepared to use to keep mugs. Put your favourite ones in until it's comfortably full, but NOT, stuffed. Then the other mugs need to be donated (school staff room??). If you find one you really really want to keep, decide which in the cupboard you like less than the one you found. It doesn't mean you don't like it, just you like the other one more. (Obvious DH & DS should get to put their favourites in too!!)

you can always choose to have another cupboard for mugs, but you have to accept that's one less for glasses or plates or whatever.

its called 'The Container Concept'. You can use it for any group of items. The biggest container is your house. Then the room (unless you're happy with mugs in your bedroom or bathroom 😂😂) then the cupboard and box/shelf etc.

one of my favourite sayings of hers is..

you can keep anything, you just can't keep everything!

It’s a nice house, the house you saw this morning. Making a loft hatch bigger and adding a shed is a minimal cost.

@BG2015 ah phew. Then you will be aware of the bits to avoid!

If you do a needs / wish’s list for the property, it might help to make an area list eg, if you need to be near shops/trains/hospitals with good pavements for wheelchairs etc, or in area where taxis will venture. (we didn’t think about this when we moved here - doh! , but will be when we move on due to increasing disability)

This may be the only plus side to never having climbed very high on the property ladder.

Lack of storage is so common.

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 lived in Stoke all my life. Currently live in Baddeley Green/Milton area so not moving too far.

Meagre pickings at the moment.

@BG2015 I think the market is slow everywhere. Maybe Easter time and a lowering mortgage rates will help things. Which gives you time to declutter and make those lists. I’m madly decorating so I’m with you in spirit if not in decluttering!

We're doing this and had an offer accepted on a house a few months ago. We'd moved into rented after selling our old house to put ourselves in the best possible position. Old house was over 2,000ft², new one is 850ft². Our rental house is in between the two so we've done half the decluttering already, but I'm nervous about getting through the other half.

I really do recommend going into rented if you at all can. It means you're a cash buyer with no chain and therefore very attractive to sellers. I stalked rightmove and when the house we wanted came up I booked a viewing the same day. It's just right (detached with garage, close to shops, downstairs toilet, etc) and by the time we viewed it they'd already had another offer! But they chose us because of our position. Nothing like it had come up before or since.

If there isn't a house that's right for you on the market now, don't just go for one that is kind of OK. Bide your time and wait. Many more will come along in springtime- there just isn't much available at the moment.

Are you moving just to save money or because you can’t manage the stairs? You are lucky to live in an area where housing is cheaper, the only thing near us for that price is a very short lease 1 bed in a supported housing scheme for the elderly.

This might be a stupid idea, but a friend of mine did a very positive downsizing move a couple of years back, and we were both househunting at the same time, so we did a lot of comparing notes. She looked at loads of really quirky properties - the sort of thing you cannot buy if you need space - including some totally impractical places that were really gorgeous. She kept falling in love with beautiful beamed cottages with original fireplaces and the like. And she also looked at some incredibly stylish flats ('apartments'!) in amazing town-centre locations. My memory is it was a lot of fun for her to look, but in seriousness I think it helped her re-jig her sense of spaces. I think you are still thinking 'we are looking for our house but smaller' and you need to jolt yourself out of that way of thinking.

How much stuff does everyone have that you need a whole bedroom for storage?? Don't forget you can build stotage - we put a sliding wall in the hallway of our flat that conceals drawers, shelves and coat hangers.

Clearly a silver lining about being a millenial who private rented my entire 20s and early 30s - I'm ruthless with clutter!

I live in a group of bungalows ,mostly 2-3 bedroom. As the owners die off they are bought by builders who turn them into two storey homes with the gardens covered in concrete. The planners allow it.

Citydweller here in a terraced Victorian house. Hoover and ironing board live in the bedroom. We have survived.

@Stanislas oh that gets me soo mad. Bungalows shouldn’t be allowed to be turned into two storey houses. If I were a prime minister I would make it law that no bungalow would ever be allowed to become a two or more storey house. I would make it law that such planning applications automatically get rejected and the applicant thrown in the town stocks to be pelted with rotten fruit and veg for a week.

(arghhhh).