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Original poster

Offer accepted. Having a freakout!

35 replies

Potaytoe5 · 02/10/2023 22:42

Recently sold, found a lovely house on the opposite side of our town. Put an offer in, it got accepted today. Suddenly the reality is sinking in and I'm having a freak out! What have we done!
We will have to change our daughter's school. The nearest one is full so walk to the next one is not too bad, a mile but a few bigger roads to cross. I will never let her walk alone.
I won't be able to meet my friends at the local baby group anymore as I would get there very late.
My second child will have to go to a different preschool. I love the house we're buying but I feel so settled and happy where we are, I'm wondering whether we should just stay in our current area instead. Please talk sense to me. I also barely slept, which never helps.

OP posts:
Mum1976Mum · 02/10/2023 22:44

Personally, I would never move my children from school. It’s so disruptive.

dragonwaffle · 02/10/2023 22:46

Change is good. Amd you obviously loved the new house. Kids are resilient. I'm sure you'll make it work! Best wishes!!

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 02/10/2023 23:00

I went to 3 different primary schools so can't really relate!

OP posts:
Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 02/10/2023 23:01

Sorry that was meant to be to @Mum1976Mum

OP posts:
Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 01:38

I'm stressing about it so much I can't sleep!! Unbelievable :(

OP posts:
Georgiepud · 03/10/2023 01:50

If it's to be your forever family home then best to do it now. The kids will be fine after a short while, you may take a bit longer.

Roselilly36 · 03/10/2023 02:02

Think about the reasons you wanted to move OP. It doesn’t sound like you are moving too far away. Children always adapt quickly, although I agree with PP not ideal to change school, but sometimes it can’t be helped.

Moving always stirs up lots of emotions for me, it’s not always easy to move on from somewhere so familiar, but needs change.

We moved & relocated during lockdown, a big downsize, new city etc. best decision we have made, but even though I was happy to move, the first few months were really unsettling, so be prepared for that.

Do what’s right for you and your family, if you really don’t want to move, then pull out asap.

good luck with whatever you decide.

1stworldissues · 03/10/2023 03:39

Mum1976Mum · 02/10/2023 22:44

Personally, I would never move my children from school. It’s so disruptive.

That's helpful.. not

OP you must have had reasons to sell? Think about them and all the positives with the move

Twiglets1 · 03/10/2023 07:26

Hi @Potaytoe5

I wouldn't feel too bad about a child having to move to a different primary school (secondary is different in my opinion) so agree with a PP that it's better to do a move now than when the children are older. They will quickly adapt.

Just in terms of you feeling more comfortable however, are there no suitable houses on your side of town?

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 07:45

@Twiglets1 No suitable houses at the moment. They sometimes come up, but not often. They tend to be near an A road as well, which I discarded. They tend to be more spacious though.
The house itself is really lovely I am just having a major freakout, barely had 2 hours sleep!
DH is not impressed with me, as I'm the one who's been pushing the whole house move :(

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 03/10/2023 07:54

Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 07:45

@Twiglets1 No suitable houses at the moment. They sometimes come up, but not often. They tend to be near an A road as well, which I discarded. They tend to be more spacious though.
The house itself is really lovely I am just having a major freakout, barely had 2 hours sleep!
DH is not impressed with me, as I'm the one who's been pushing the whole house move :(

Oh dear, it's such a stressful time isn't it?

If the new house is one you would live in for a long time, I would look at secondary schools in your current area and in the house the other side of town. Which one has better secondary schools in thier catchment area? The information will be on the Righmove listings. I know that's looking a long way into the future but it will come round.

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 08:03

They both have very good secondary schools. Primary schools are arguably better the other side of town, but DD loves her school so much she wants to teach there when she grows up.
I think I am being very emotional.
The new house is on the corner of a primary school but it's full to the brim, so I would have to walk her a mile away, but through busy roads!
At the moment it's a 10 minute walk on a quiet street.
I think it's all becoming too real and I am not ready! What a wimp :(

OP posts:
MustBeNapTime · 03/10/2023 08:24

I feel your anxiety. We are just about to do the same, to the other side of town, albeit without a school move. But still, I won't be able to walk to my gym, after years of being overweight and I'm worried I won't keep it up if I have a 20 minute drive (no gyms closer), I can currently walk to my mum and sister's which will become a drive. I also won't be able to walk to the train station to go and visit my friend for a girls' night out and a glass of wine... Little things that suddenly feel so big.

BUT, the new house is gorgeous, surrounded by trees and peace. Currently live near traffic lights on a busy commuting road. I keep reminding myself of why I wanted to move in the first place and I know in my heart that once we've moved and settled it will be worth it!

Callisto1 · 03/10/2023 08:42

Would it be worth putting your DC on the waiting list for the closer school? If it's a big school the wait might not be too long and worth it in the long run.

SuddenlyOld · 03/10/2023 08:45

Make a list of pros and cons and mark each one for importance, say 5 points vv important etc. Add up the score for each column.

I did this when deciding whether to move 300 miles away.

I can't remember which column got the highest score, but in the end I followed my gut, which was my first reaction when I was offered the job. Because as the months went on my gut feeling kept switching between stay or go lol

So yes, emotions will swing, so go with your very first reaction

Twiglets1 · 03/10/2023 08:59

I don't think you're being a wimp at all @Potaytoe5 and I'm sure most people could empathise with your concerns.

Would it be completely unfeasible for your daughter to stay at her existing school? It probably would if she has years left there or if you don't drive or the town/city you live in is big.

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 09:14

@Callisto it's a two form entry but always full :(

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Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 09:19

@Twiglets traffic between old school and new house is stuff of nightmares, so not feasible.
I am currently crying, talked to DH who says it's stupid to pull out an offer after it's been accepted. I said better now than later!! He is angry as he 'thought we decided'. Well he doesn't do the school runs really.
Plus there are a couple little bits about the house I don't like the more I think about it, it feels like we just liked the nice shiny kitchen/bathroom and a nice wallpaper :(
I don't know if I would regret it, I've been checking right move daily for the past two months. How long does it take to find a house anyway?

OP posts:
Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 09:34

I called the school around the corner, apparently there is not a lot of movement there at all, maybe one space per year!

OP posts:
CCTVcity · 03/10/2023 09:38

If you only just had offer accepted and your not feeling great then it’s time to pull out. We had that on 3 houses. Never regretted pulling the offer. Always looks back when we drive past and say omg remember when we nearly bought that house! Your gut feeling on this is unlikely wrong unless your generally a totally indecisive flapper.

CCTVcity · 03/10/2023 09:42

It took us a year to find our current house. Had an offer accepted and it felt wrong within 24 hrs so we pulled. Found our current house 2 weeks later. It’s perfect.

Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 09:45

Thank you @CCTVcity . The house is the best we've seen, but we only viewed 5. That's not a lot is it?
Can you explain it to my 'D'H please, he thought we made a decision and I'm being a bother D:
I'm thinking about trying to stay in the area perhaps so we don't have to move DD's school at all...

OP posts:
Original poster
Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 09:48

Offer accepted on Sunday so 2 days ago. I think the sooner tell them the better.

OP posts:
TotalOverhaul · 03/10/2023 09:59

Potaytoe5 · 03/10/2023 08:03

They both have very good secondary schools. Primary schools are arguably better the other side of town, but DD loves her school so much she wants to teach there when she grows up.
I think I am being very emotional.
The new house is on the corner of a primary school but it's full to the brim, so I would have to walk her a mile away, but through busy roads!
At the moment it's a 10 minute walk on a quiet street.
I think it's all becoming too real and I am not ready! What a wimp :(

Would it be possible, for now, to keep her at the school she loves and drive her every morning, until a place becomes free in the school right by the new house? It might be a faff short term, but it would stabilise her while you make the move. By then she might have made some local friends so when she joins, she'd already know people.

Don't worry too much about your baby group. You drift away from baby group friends anyway, unless very lucky.

Go back and look at the new area again, not just the house. Do you love it? Does it seem friendly and lively? Are there baby groups and Rainbows/Cubs, toddler groups etc where you and your Dc can make local friends?

And if you really don't want to move, you don't have to. Can you look at a loft extension, garage conversion or a garden room to create more space where you are?

caringcarer · 03/10/2023 10:01

In my experience if you need to move getting it over quickly, rather like ripping a sticking plaster off, is best. Kids are so resilient and will make friends quickly when very young. The older they get the harder it is to make new friends. You say you love the house. I'm assuming you will have more space in your new house. You will make it your home. You will find a new mother and baby group. Your DC will find it exciting discovering new things to do in the new area and it sounds like you are not moving too far so it might be possible to keep in touch with your current friends as well as make new ones.