Hi everyone,
Really just looking for a handhold. We finally got keys to our new house a few weeks ago. It was probate and very dated but felt well maintained (no damp, roof good etc). We've renovated before so thought we could do it again.
But it's just awful and every time I step foot inside I have a panic attack, it feels so oppressive somehow and I just can't imagine ever enjoying being there. DH is working so hard to strip wallpaper, get rooms skimmed, floors sanded but it still gives me such an awful feeling and a sense of 'doom'. I keep throwing up and can't eat. I do suffer from anxiety and my Dr has put me on antidepressants to try and get me through but they are not working yet.
I honestly don't know how I'll ever be able to move in feeling like this (still in rental house for now). It's technically a very nice house, in a conservation street in a desirable area with excellent schools. Everything I thought I wanted. So why do I feel this way?
DH is convinced it has 'good bones' and it will feel better once painted, new carpets etc and eventually we'll sort new windows and a kitchen remodel too. Luckily we do have the money to do most of the work.
Deep down, however, I think we might just need to sell it if I can't shake this awful panicked feeling - it was so expensive and the stamp duty was 50k so we'd absolutely lose money.
I feel so ungrateful and pathetic and can't really tell anyone in real life how much I'm struggling with my incredibly first world problem.