I recently moved from an ex-council house that had been extended downstairs, all open plan, with a big garden – an amazing property that I loved.
However, for years I’d been looking for the next move: a bigger house on a better street to raise my family. The old house had only one bathroom, the neighbours weren’t great, and my daughter was sleeping downstairs in a garage conversion because it was really only three bedrooms. She often said she felt scared sleeping there.
So, I wanted a detached house with a garage and enough rooms upstairs for all of us. When one came up for sale in the same village, within budget (though with a bigger mortgage), I went for it. On paper it was perfect – 5-bed detached – and I thought I could make it “wow”. Detached houses here are rare and at a premium; in the last 4–5 years, only three suitable ones have come up for sale in my budget.
Now we’re in, and while the family loves it, I hate it and all I see is more work. The downstairs feels tiny (not open plan, and the Garden is smaller), and we can’t fit all our stuff in. I can’t believe we didn’t notice this after viewing twice. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat – I just want to go back to the old house. Nothing here is to my taste, which I knew and thought I could fix, but now panic is setting in. I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake ever.
I can't sleep at all and when I do I wake up quickly with a panic attack. I have this huge wave of regret that I just can't get past. I can't focus on anything at all, I am just existing at work not doing anything. I just want to lie in bed all day, I cant get up and have no motivation for anything. I want this nightmare to be over. I keep talking to people which helps but I still just can't get past this feeling of regret. I can't face changing my address or looking at old photos with the kids on in the old house. I just can't cope. Today I have been working from home and all I have done is take a bath(!) and looked on Rightmove for properties that in my head are better than this one and that I should have chosen those. I simply just can't change my brain to look past and think it is only a house. My wife and family have been very supportive but I feel like I am dragging them down. I have often phoned the Samaritans and messaged Shout when I have been at my lowest.
I have contacted the NHS mental health services and they have emailed me saying expect a call in 6 weeks. What do I do, it has been 4 weeks since I moved and just can't move on.