Just moved in. Massive regret. How soon can we sell up?

[Pearmain]

Ignoring the fact we’ve spent all our savings on stamp duty and fees and it’s going take a long time to save plus selling in a falling market and equity being at risk - how soon are you actually allowed to sell after buying?

OP I was the same - I didn’t eat properly for weeks because I was beside myself that the house wasn’t as I remembered when I viewed it. In all honesty I still don’t love it, but I know I’m very lucky and need to remind myself of that a lot before I focus on the fact all the doors stick, although it is fucking well annoying 😤 x

I lived in my last house for 18 years. Unexpectedly had twins so ended up with 5 children in a 3 bed house. We moved in October 2020 to a much bigger house and a much larger mortgage. I sobbed saying goodbye to my old neighbours and sobbed even more when I got the keys to the new house with a roof leak and under estimated the amount of work the house needed. Fast forward to 2023 we have spent a fortune on the house and it still doesn’t feel like home. I drive past my old home (don’t know why) and have a little cry. I miss the memories, the neighbours and the fact all my children were born there and it was in an estate so felt like a community. I search rightmove every day. If I could turn back time I wouldn’t have moved. I feel for you. When the time is right you may want to consider selling if you can’t settle. We can’t afford it at the moment with the interest rates being so high.

I have recently moved from the North with my husband. I love the place where we have moved to but the house needs more work doing to it than we first thought and my husband is unhappy as he is missing his friends. he isn't, to be honest, very out going. He hasn't yet found a suitable railway modelling group to join. There is no way we will be moving back though. I just hope he will find some like minded people.

Honestly I didn't get over mine :( I knew the first weekend I hated it. Took us 5 years to move and best thing we ever did! I lived in an air bnb for months to be rid of mine!

Sometimes it will work out, sometimes it won't. You just have to make the most of it in-between!

I also hated our house when we first moved in and thought we’d made a huge mistake… 5 years later I can’t even remember what it is I didn’t like about it!

If you really hate your new home to the point that you are crying, write a list on why you are unhappy in your new space, are the things on the list fixable to make it feel like it is your home, have things change in your relationship, have you move away from friends and family, are you a first time buyer and scared of the mortgage responsibility? ......think back to why you bought the house, what did you love on the viewing. Are you feeling overwhelmed of being a home owner and all that entails? Were you feeling under pressure to buy the property?

Walk through the house as you did when you first did. Is it your furniture that does not fit? Think about how you can create the space more fitting to your life and make it your sanctuary. Remember you viewed the property with the sellers things in it and that has a huge impact on your initial decision to buy the property. Ask yourself was it the property or the sellers style that captured you?

I now work in the industry, not an estate agent, but on the legal side. I understand it is an emotional journey. I know that clients have gone and done viewings, and in most cases only one viewing before making an offer, gone into property and furniture and fittings looked like your dream. Deal done you move in and hey presto your stuff just not do it!

If you have done the walk through and you still cannot see yourself living there then you really need to move. Your home should be a place of sanctuary.

I remember moving from our lovely flat to a house that needed loads of work and we didn't have the money to do it straight away.. I loved the location but hated the house.. and actually felt sad walking in those first couple of months.. then I bought a couple of cans of paint and started getting stuck in and a started to like it.. took a while but 10 years later - we're still here and it's a wonderful family home... very glad DH helped to stick with it too...

It's your house, there's nothing stopping you selling the day after you get possession. There's no law. Realistically it would be worrying for buyers and you'd probably lose a lot of money plus potentially early repayment fees on mortgage which can be massive. The earliest I'd consider selling would be a year. Not just for the financial reasons, but because all you may need is some time and a few changes to the house/furniture and one day you may wake up and realise that the house has grown on you and it feels like home.

We moved partly for space. I was looking at the sale specs of our last house recently as I was working out how to design the bathroom here (which is weird- you have to shimmy sideways past a massive washbasin to get into the room!) and I only realised then how squashed we'd really been in the old house. I loved that house, we lived there 30 years and had it just how we wanted it, but even if only for the space thing, looking it it realistically, I wouldn't want to go back there now.
We have a doer-upper, a lot by us ourselves, and as is often the case, there are times when I get sick of the mess and the work, but at those times I try to remind myself of why we moved. This house was very depressing when we moved in- very run down, and with an unhappy recent past. I almost think the house itself was depressed. I have tried to give everything time, and sometimes I think of the house as a person- we're building its confidence again, and making friends with it as we heal it's wounds and make it feel young again. Works for me! We have turned a big corner or two this year, and it's starting to feel cheerful now.

This was me,I woke up the day after we moved in and thought I'd made the biggest mistake of my life.

We'll have been living here for twenty years in December.

My mum and dad sold up and moved within 6 months of buying their new place because they hated it....and got accused of money laundering, it took a good few phone calls to sort that out 😂

I definitely grieved moving into the house we have now. (Been here 7 years). We were living in a buzzy part of London with loads going on within a short walk. Farmers markets, bars, restaurants, coffee shops , cinemas etc. We moved in a panic as had a baby and needed a house so had to move out to zone 6 . Nearest coffee shop is a good 20 min walk away, no young people around or that buzzy atmosphere. Just a completely different vibe. I was seriously thinking Wtf have we done. Missed our old flat so much . But what I will say is you get used to what you have . When we first moved I hated it and wanted to move out immediately, now I am seeing the positives. Little things like there is an amazing salon 10mins walk I can get eyelashes done in my lunchbreak when I’m wfh 😊 Our local pub with regulars - completely unlike the trendy bars we used to go to, but so friendly and we know loads of the regulars there now since covid . Great bus links to the local shopping centres, and close to some beautiful parks. Don’t get me wrong, this is definitely not our forever home but over the years we have done a few things, made the garden nice too so it becomes more your own and you can explore the area a bit. I totally understand the knee jerk reaction but I would definitely give it 6mths to a year to see if you settle in more before making any more rash decisions.
presumably you weighed up a lot of options and this house ticked most of the boxes… what would be the alternative right now ?

My husband and I both hated our current house for the first year, neither of us wanted to move, we loved our old house and our neighbours but we'd outgrown it and it was on a really busy road so it wasn't practical with 2 kids and a dog, plus it had no parking which was a massive pain. We moved to a semi in a really quiet close with big garden, driveway and garage so on paper it ticked all the boxes but we were so unsettled, it wasn't really until the kids started really appreciating the garden and we made friends with the neighbours that it started to grow on us and feel like home. 12 years on and we are so happy here. Give it time xx

Oh OP poor you.

I HATED our house when we first moved in. But there was no way we could move, we had 8 week old twins and our old house was way too small anyway. I told my husband I wanted to “go home” too.

3 years later I’m much happier. I won’t lie, it took a while and some decorating but I like it now!

I hated our last house, we lived there for 6 years and I hated it every day.
When we moved in we found a dead pigeon in our bedroom and the previous owner removed the kitchen and the only thing they left was the sink unit, there was mold in the second bedroom that they unsuccessfully tried to paint over and the floored sloped.
It was all we could afford and we did loads of work to it to make it home but I was so glad to leave.
Our current house was awful when we moved in, it was a probate sale and had been empty for 2 years but it instantly felt like home and I absolutely love it. We've been here 11 years but I have no plans to ever leave, it's our forever home.

Even if you hate it work on adding value before selling. I've done this in every house I've lived in some of them right dumps and have now made enough money to buy my final lovely home.

My friend cried for months after moving house. They only moved about a mile- to a bigger house with a lovely garden in a nicer area. But she said it was like grief. They'd lived in their last house about 15 years and really done lots to make it theirs, and had been through some sad times and goid times there and had lovely neighbours. It was only a few months ago_ two years after they moved that she said she loves this house.
DH and I had a 3 bedroomed semi that we loved before we moved into this house. I could only bare to sell it because SIL and BIL bought it. But they moved to Scotland 4 years later and I wanted to but it again for us when there is just me and DH.We didn't but I am still sad about it.

Same here. Hated our new home and increased financial burden.

I felt something similar when I entered my flat after evicting a squatter who’d lived there for 4 years (court delays due to Covid). The flat was trashed, dirty and I immediately just wanted to sell it. My partner and I spent a week scrubbing it, got new furniture and appliances and I am glad I held on to it because it is absolutely perfect.

My advice would be to create one room you love. Ideally the living room or your bedroom. Focus on getting it how you want and give yourself a space in the house that feels 'right'. You can't do everything straight away. You can't make the noise go or the 'newness' and 'strangeness' go, but you can create one space that makes you feel ok when you walk into it. Do that - create that one space with love and care and all the right details, and then you can chill in there and think about how you make the next space 'right'. Eventually all the spaces will be right and the house will start to feel like home. And even if you never come to love it - it's not forever and in the meantime enjoy creating little pockets that make you happy.

I can remember moving into this house and standing at an upstairs window thinking ‘aah’ about the road noise hum. I honestly never hear it now. I was in a panic thinking we had messed up and made a mistake. It’s been ten years now and the house has done nothing wrong. It’s not our forever home but it’s looked after us and doubled in price so given us a nice little nest egg into the bargain.

Try and give it some time. Do some decorating/alterations and make it your own.

Really wise words - I have had to move around a lot and this advice was once given to me, too - and it is a sanity saver.
There will be some things you can't affect (neighbours from Hell, etc) but creating that space for yourself will enable you to have that space and time that you need.
I do remember moving day from my very first flat, a while ago...I sat in the middle of the floor, refusing to pack a damn thing! I did not want to leave, had not had any input in the move. My DMIL had to pack around me.

I had no choice with my last flat as I was homeless. The first few months were awful. My previous house was quiet, in a lovely area. This flat was noisy and very basic and in pretty awful condition. Within 18 months it started to feel like home. That feeling when you walk through the door, that your home. I grew to love it despite its many downsides. I was there for 15 years and was really happy and quite sad to move out.

I’ve now moved to a new council flat and although it’s new build, so I’m the first tenant in, and it’s modern, clean, much quieter than the old one, and a huge improvement on the old flat , I still don’t feel it’s my home 15 months on. Its starting to feel a bit better now but I’ve got a way to go still, and I still miss that ‘I’m home’ feeling I had.

Some places you feel at home in instantly. Some take more time and I suppose with some places, it just never clicks. But as others have said, what you’re feeling is not at all unusual. Give yourself time. Even a move you wanted can be a big shock to the system. You’ve left the memories and security of your familiar home behind and need to adjust. I wonder if the new house becomes a sort of scapegoat for all the stuff going on mentally? Something solid and tangible to pin all the weirdness and loss around the move on to? I really think it was for me. I really hope you start to settle soon💐

Took me a while to get used to our house. The house is lovely, but we moved area and the previous area was nicer - a bit prettier, trendier, nice shops, veggie grocers, etc. It probably took me a couple of years to come to terms with leaving our previous area, but we've been happy here for over 20 years now and I don't see us ever moving (until we're old and decrepit, at any rate). I look at RightMove sometimes and think, "Yeah, that's nice, but it doesn't have XYZ that we've got."

I had a major panic when I moved into my new house. I hated it and immediately wanted to go 'home'. A friend reassured me that this was quite normal. My husband agreed to give it 3 months and sell if I still felt the same. It took me a few weeks to settle, but 10 years later we're still here and very happy. Give it 6 months.