Page 3 | Just moved in. Massive regret. How soon can we sell up?

Pearmain · 2023-08-10T19:00:12+00:00

Ignoring the fact we’ve spent all our savings on stamp duty and fees and it’s going take a long time to save plus selling in a falling market and equity being at risk - how soon are you actually allowed to sell after buying?

Brexile · 10/08/2023 21:44

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 10/08/2023 21:36

For what it's worth, I slept in the lounge rather than in the bedrooms for the first three weeks in my house, two decades ago. (Never told anyone this!)

It just felt so alien, like WTF am I doing here? I curled up on the sofa with a blanket rather than sleep in a strange bedroom.

Now I've been here a long time, it is hard to remember anywhere else. Is it my dream home/neighbourhood? Nope. But it works and feels like my home base.

I slept downstairs for weeks too. I couldn't go upstairs in the dark (old creepy house) because that's where the ghosts live. I don't believe in ghosts but the fear was real!

bringthecactusin · 10/08/2023 21:44

Don't fret. It happens.

The morning after I bought my first house I phoned my friend crying my eyes out and said "What was I thinking? I've bought a house. What on earth would I want with a house?!" We laugh about it now. I was one of the first of my group to buy a house and everyone was wildly jealous but I was just distraught that morning. Its a big thing. Be kind to yourself and give the house a chance. I've lived in more 3 houses since that one and looking back it was my favourite.

ReignOfError · 10/08/2023 21:51

I’ve moved a fair bit - well over 20 times as an adult - and I’ve only once regretted it. When we first moved to this area, I hated the house we bought. I cried for a week, then painted everything white, and, six weeks after I’d moved in, I rented it out for a year and left. Came back and lived in it for another year, hated it just as much, so I sold it.

Hopefully, you will learn to love, or at least like, your house, but if not, it doesn’t have to be forever.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 10/08/2023 21:56

Give it time, it is a lot of stress moving to a new place and area and takes time. I am in a lovely place now even though is a few things need to fix etc but loved my last area as nearer town etc but few months or it could take over a year as was for me to settle. Try not to panic and try to do little things to make it homely and give it time and see the positives and if you feel like this in a year or so then make a change but it does take time. Moving house one of the most stressful things you can do and we also lost a parent and other stresses. We all feel comfortable in surroundings we are used to so natural how you are feeling. Some good advice on here and comments. Be kind to yourself and things will be better.

topnoddy · 10/08/2023 21:59

Just to add most of our stuff is still in the boxes we moved in with , all stacked up in the spare bedroom .

We have decorated all the main rooms to try and make it better but it hasn't , some days I just don't want to come back here after work

Mumuser124 · 10/08/2023 22:01

My husband had buyers remorse for about 2 years… wer 6 years in and I can’t get him to move because he loves it. We need another bedroom and he keeps insisting we will convert the loft.

give it 6 months and see how you feel, if you still hate it, then think about starting to look again.

Corrag · 10/08/2023 22:03

The previous owners of our house put it back on the market two months after they moved in. We weren't put off at all. For us it was the one that got away, we'd missed out on it the time before.

Ap24 · 10/08/2023 22:06

I hated our last house. I cried once we had moved in and regretted leaving my smaller house in a worse location. I got used to it and felt more settled after 6 months. We have lots of good memories but I never loved that house and was more than happy to leave after 7years. I'm not overly spiritual but I always felt like it had bad energy and awful things had happened in it.

TopStar · 10/08/2023 22:07

I think this is a "thing" especially if you are leaving a place you love. I loved my first house in London, moved into current one and blah...blah..more blah. damp...dodgy layout, that we still have not sorted because we ran out of cash after a loft conversion. The feeling will fade and I agree with you, it is a kind of grief for your last place.

IAmMerfacus · 10/08/2023 22:08

YukoandHiro · 10/08/2023 20:32

Honestly I felt EXACTLY like this, and I posted somewhere about it so you might be able to find the thread. It was only nine months ago. I just felt like we'd been rushed into a decision (by the Truss stuff) and although we'd outgrown our previous place and it was impractical I also adored the location and was very at home there.

I felt particularly awful because I'd never experienced that before; I've moved a lot in my life and considered myself quite nomadic and normally feel totally at home very quickly. But it took me months to adjust here. I took a lot of comfort from other posters saying exactly what they are here too.

And they were all right! We've done quite a bit of cosmetic work, which obviously helps it feel more "ours", but I'm much more settled now. The location isn't exactly what I wanted but it's what we could afford in these weird times and having the space for the whole family has been life transforming.

Hang in there OP. Promise yourself you'll give it a year (that's what I did) and then see how you feel then. I bet you'll be surprised!

Show quote history

@YukoandHiro are you the one that moved from a small house in a place you loved to a larger house a little way out with a garden?

Original poster

Pearmain · 10/08/2023 22:09

I honestly can’t tell you what peace of mind it is to read your experiences, I guess it doesn’t help that I’ve told no one in real life because I’m a bit ashamed of feeling this way.

Those of you who still aren’t happy even after giving it time, I really feel for you.

Re homesickness - it’s definitely that. Literally feel like we’ve been uprooted.

Thank you all for giving me a bit of a reality check, I do feel a bit better for talking about it x

OP posts:

Jeevesnotwooster · 10/08/2023 22:10

Moved 2 years ago after trying for ages to get a place. Everyone else loved it and I wasn't sure at all and for first 6 months I had massive regret. It is the only time I've moved and had real regrets about the house (rather than the houses I couldn't get/didn't afford). I've worked really hard on the house which will have been completely redocorated (including remodelling 3 bathrooms ) and I am finally feeling like it's home and I can feel comfortable here. I won't stay here forever but it's good for now.

EmmaPaella · 10/08/2023 22:12

I hated my house the minute I moved in and cried. I actually don’t always love it now (twelve years on!) but I love aspects of it and it is our home and obviously we’ve not moved again.

It is really too early days for you to spend so much money again moving, I’d give it a year and tell yourself you’ll sell at that point if you still feel the same. It will fly by.

Original poster

Pearmain · 10/08/2023 22:13

@topnoddy thats how I feel every time I leave, I just don’t want to come back

OP posts:

Beach1983 · 10/08/2023 22:13

Agree with all of the above! We moved last year from an immaculate house to a house that needed work but when we moved in it needed so much more than we expected and honestly I felt sick and couldn’t sleep with the regret some nights but we are finally getting there and making progress with finishing each room and it’s slowly feels like home. Hang in there it might feel better in a few months x

LittleBearPad · 10/08/2023 22:15

do the reasons you bought it still apply?

Charlize43 · 10/08/2023 22:22

Houses are just like people, they need love. Once you start doing the place up, I'm sure you'll love it.

It's always nervous moving into a new place and then slowly it becomes home.

I had fallen out of love with my house until I realised it was because I was drowning in too much stuff. Now I'm on the cusp of a massive decluttering project and trying to simplify it all. I think both the house and myself need it.

LittleAlexHornn · 10/08/2023 22:24

I moved into this house in February.

It was the dream house, viewed many times, was so excited to move in.

I cried every day for six weeks. Honestly I felt it was the worst mistake ever. All I old focus on were negatives.

It's been 6 months and I'm just starting to see a glimmer of hope. I don't love it, but I don't hate it anymore.

One thing that helped was telling myself I'd give it a year, and then if I still hated it I'd sell.

Zippyzooza · 10/08/2023 22:24

I’m so sorry to hear you feel like this. It is an awful feeling and one I can relate to.

I hated our last house from the minute we moved in. I cried almost every day for months and used to dread ‘coming home’.

In the end we stuck it out for 4 years for financial reasons but I was delighted the day we moved out.

I hope you have a more positive experience.

SloraceHughorn · 10/08/2023 22:25

My mum told me she sat on the stairs and cried the first night after we moved into what went on to become our childhood home (social housing that we'd been homed into after being temporarily homeless, no carpets, or curtains, awful decor, not great area).

The following morning she sat on the stairs again watching the sun come through the front window and she said that gave her a bit of hope that things would be okay.

I think it took her quite a long time to like the house, and even longer to like the area, but it ended up being a very happy home for us that she was genuinely sad about leaving when she eventually moved out almost twenty years later.

Hopefully you start to feel a bit of hope for your new home soon OP 💐

MargaretThursday · 10/08/2023 22:26

FiddleLeaf · 10/08/2023 20:01

I’m not sure there’s a limit but my two cents… I HATED my current house when we moved it and it took about 6 months for it to feel like home. I love living here now. No one ever talks about hating the new house!

Agreed!

Even though our new house was much better for our needs and we'd been trying to move for a year.

I spent the first few nights convinced we'd made a massive mistake, and about 6 months before I'd feel I was going home rather than to a strange house.

Gemstar3 · 10/08/2023 22:28

Sorry to hear that OP but I agree with PP that it’s a totally normal feeling. I’ve moved a lot and my advice is put pictures up on walls as quickly as you can (even if you later have to take them down to paint/put furniture there). It’s amazing how quickly it can make it feel like a more familiar environment. Also, agree with PP about smells - that was the worst thing I found with my last move. Air every room out as much as you can and treat yourself to some nice reed diffusers/candles/flowers so you get to control the smell, ideally one that is already familiar to you, which will feel very grounding. I really hope the feeling improves soon!

Iaspo · 10/08/2023 22:29

We viewed the house we live in now twice before moving in. I really loved it on the first viewing but not so sure on 2nd. Was really worried but went ahead - we had to move and it was quite soon after my lovely mum died so wasn’t in best frame of mind…

Anyway we’ve been here 8 years now and I absolutely love the place. Sometimes when I’m alone I walk around it and think how lucky we are to live here. I really do think that your home is a place you need to feel completely comfortable. If you can do that (with or without work) in your current house that’s fine. If not, I’d keep an eye on Rightmove. Life is too short for some compromises….

Charlize43 · 10/08/2023 22:36

LittleAlexHornn · 10/08/2023 22:24

I moved into this house in February.

It was the dream house, viewed many times, was so excited to move in.

I cried every day for six weeks. Honestly I felt it was the worst mistake ever. All I old focus on were negatives.

It's been 6 months and I'm just starting to see a glimmer of hope. I don't love it, but I don't hate it anymore.

One thing that helped was telling myself I'd give it a year, and then if I still hated it I'd sell.

It was the dream house, viewed many times, was so excited to move in.

I am curious how you got in so wrong and how it went from being 'the dream house' to actually hating it?

Pickingmyselfup · 10/08/2023 22:38

Ah I can relate. 8 years ago we bought this house, we were previously renting a small 2 bed semi and this is an average 3 bed detached so I was excited about the upgrade.

However, the first few weeks were awful!! It felt so strange, I didn't like coming home and I desperately wanted to go back to our previous house.

Bit by bit we added more of our stuff and our touches and it became home but I still vividly remember how I felt at the beginning and if we ever move again I'll probably feel the same again. I don't think it helps that a move, especially upwards is seen as the huge exciting thing and nobody ever tells you that you will be living in a strangers house for a while even though it's legally yours.